Back to the locker room

Watching Ariana Grande leave the classroom was such a surreal experience. She had talked about ‘fucking my brains out’, had kissed me intensely and asked me to join her on tour and I had not leaped at the offer. What the hell was wrong with me?

As I exited the room, I found Justin waiting just outside in the hallway. “Dude!” he exclaimed. “What happened in there? Professor Grande left without you. Did you two have a fight? This is usually the time she’s dragging you back to your dorm room.”

I swallowed hard, my face flushing at the implication of his words. “Uh… no, we didn’t fight. She had to catch a flight to New York for a concert tonight. She actually invited me to join her.”

“Really? And you didn’t say yes?,” Justin inquired, “Why the hell not? You feeling ok?”

"No, I’m fine." I lied, ruffling my hair nervously. "Just tired, I guess."

Justin rolled his eyes at me. “You aren’t tired man, you're just all pent up. Missing out on your regular fuck fest with Professor Grande has to be driving you nuts. And there’s no excuse for you of all people to stay that way, especially when you can just go to the girl’s locker room and get your poison out.”

“Not really feeling up to that, either,” I admitted, feeling the weight of my decisions. Here I was with seemingly absolute power over everything and for whatever reason, even after getting handjobs from Lisa and french kisses from Aria Grande, I was still questioning the morality of using those abilities.

"C'mon James, you need to unwind, man," Justin said, his hands on his hips as he peered at me with concerned eyes. "All work and no play makes James a very dull boy. And you're anything but dull. Remember, women are the best cure for any problem."

I looked at Justin and shook my head. It was as if the universe was conspiring against me, using Justin as its voice, in an effort to convince me to use my powers. I had to admit the temptation was incredible to find some immediate release. Right now what I really wanted to do was locate Lisa and use her to - how did Justin phrase it? - “get my poison out”, but I just wasn’t ready to go there again just yet. I was truly conflicted and needed time to think. With that said, maybe stopping by the locker room wasn’t a horrible idea.

“Maybe you’re right,” I finally replied to Justin. “A trip to the locker room might be exactly what I need.”

“There’s the James I know!”, Justin said with a smile, giving me a slap on the back. “Glad, we haven’t lost you completely. I’m headed in the direction of the gym as well, so I’ll walk with you.”

As we made our way across the Roosevelt College campus toward the gymnasium building, things seemed almost normal. Justin was babbling about some sci-fi nonsense that I really wasn’t paying attention to. My mind was too fixated on my current situation and what I was actually prepared to do with these powers.

When we finally reached our destination, standing in the hallway which separated the men’s locker room from the women’s, Justin turned and said “Well, this is where our paths diverge. After all, I can’t follow you into your private paradise. You are seriously the luckiest dude on the planet.”

I chuckled awkwardly at his comment. It was so weird how everyone just readily accepted the fact I was permitted into the women’s locker room. They definitely recognized it was a unique thing I could do, but no one questioned why I could or whether I should.

“Thanks man, I’ll catch up with you later,” I finally responded as I pushed the doors open and walked inside.

I have to admit, I almost hesitated as I passed through that doorway for the second time today. I kept expecting to hear screams from the girls inside. But that didn’t happen. Instead I was greeted by the sight of what must have been half the women's volleyball team moving about the room in various states of undress. Laughter and idle chatter filled the air as they went about their business with an occasional “Hey James” being heard as I made my way through the space. No one minded my presence. It was completely normal for me to be here.

As I scanned the room for someone to approach, my eyes landed upon the school’s Women’s Recreational Director, Coach Melissa Conklin, who was sitting in her office overlooking the scene through a glass window.

Melissa was thirty years old with long brown hair that cascaded in loose waves down her back and piercing blue eyes that could set anyone straight with a single look. She radiated an aura of authority, but as her eyes met mine she smiled and stood. "James," she called out, her voice smooth and even. She beckoned me over with a delicate curl of her finger.

The sounds of the room seemed to fade into the background as I walked toward her, my heart pounding in my chest. The volleyball girls glanced at me, some blushing while others gave me flirtatious winks.

"Is there something you need?" Melissa asked when I reached her doorway.

"I..." What did I want? Did I even know anymore? "I just needed to think," I finally answered.

Melissa studied me for a moment, her expression thoughtful. "Want to talk about it?" she suggested, indicating the chair across from her desk.

I hesitated before sitting down, suddenly feeling very out of place in this world of femininity and openness I had created.

"I'm not really sure where to start," I confessed, rubbing the back of my neck anxiously.

Melissa leaned back in her chair, “You can tell me anything James. I’m in charge of the locker room … well except for when you decide to be dominating,” she said with a smirk before continuing, “… so it’s my job to care about the students and listen to their concerns. My office is always a safe place for you or any of the girls. But especially for you.”

I cleared my throat, unsure how to broach what was bothering me, without sounding like a complete idiot. "I just... I don’t know. It's just... this whole setup. My being in the girls' locker room, it just feels... I don't know... weird."

“James, what are you talking about?” Melissa responded with sincere concern in her voice. “What’s weird about you being in the girls’ locker room? You’ve been coming in here from the moment you started at Roosevelt. It would only be weird if you stopped doing so.”

I stared at her, my jaw hanging open in disbelief. So, even she thought it was normal and expected for me to be here. I took a deep breath, trying to ground myself in this new reality. "Sorry, forget I said anything. It's just... I don't know, sometimes I have these crazy thoughts."

Melissa smiled understandingly, “Everyone has them from time to time James. But I’m always here if you want to talk or need some advice about something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Now, let’s get back to why you are really here, I have a feeling its because of a certain girl whose name starts with ‘L’.”

My eyes went wide with shock. With everything crazy going on, nothing should have really surprised me at this point, but Coach Conklin knowing about my Lisa dilemma shook me. “You know about Lisa?”

“James,” Melissa began, “I’m in charge of the locker room. I see or at least hear about everything that happens in here. There are no secrets from me. So yes, I know all about the fact that lately you’ve been focusing all of your attentions upon Lisa Davis when you are here. And I do have to tell you, you are beginning to give some of the other girls complexes. I have had at least a dozen or so come to me in the past few weeks concerned that there is something wrong because you’ve barely looked at them. It’s been pretty much ‘Hey Lisa, let’s shower,’ and nothing else. To be completely honest James, even I’ve wondered what the issue is. It’s been weeks since you’ve had your way with me, so I can understand their concerns. Are you really having that much fun with Lisa and Professor Grande that you have no need for the rest of us anymore?”

I choked on my own breath, my cheeks flaming like a sunrise. "Oh god, Coach... I- I didn't realize," I stammered. "It's not like that, at all."

Melissa raised an eyebrow, her head into her hands, arms resting on her desk. A soft chuckle slipped past her lips. “James, relax," she said, her firm voice dancing with amusement. "You've just taken a shine to Lisa and Professor Grande lately. It's normal."

"Normal?" I repeated dumbfounded. How could this be normal? Then again, nothing in my life was normal anymore, was it?

"Yes, normal," she reiterated patiently. "People have preferences, tastes... lots of guys your age fantasize about being close with girls like Lisa, or even their teachers." She gave me a meaningful look, “You just happen to have the ability to actually act out on those fantasies. Everyone knows you can do anything you want while here in the locker room. And if all you want to do is fool around with Lisa, that’s your choice. No one will judge you. I just don’t want you to ever forget that there are other women out there other than just Lisa and assorted pop stars who daylight as college professors.”

“Right, of course…,”As had been reinforced to me over and over again, no matter how absurd the circumstances might be, everyone accepted them as being completely normal. My thoughts went back to the proposition Dre had made earlier. They echoed exactly what Melissa was saying. So rather than dwell on those issues, I decided to return to the reason why I was actually here.

"So anyway, the actual reason I’m here is because I’m worried about my situation with Lisa and Mark. Mark is my roommate and I like him. But as you just pointed out I clearly have a huge crush on Lisa and want her for myself. Plus, Mark is throwing a party tonight and Lisa wants me to help her pick out her outfit. I just... I don't know... I'm a little nervous about mingling with so many new people. I'm not really... you know... outgoing. I’m also concerned about what Mark will do if my feelings for Lisa because too evident.”

“Hmmm, “ Melissa responded. “First things first, there’s nothing wrong with being introverted. Don’t feel pressured to fit into a stereotype of what or who you think you should be. Just be yourself.”

She paused, seeming to consider her next words carefully, “As for your ‘situation’ with Mark and Lisa, I’m not sure I understand what the problem is. Sounds like they just want to spend time with you. Do you not like parties?”

“Well, it’s Mark. How do I look at him when I’m … well you know … with Lisa.”

“Why would Mark care? I’m sure he knows what you and Lisa do while in the locker room.” It was a honest question.

James thought back to his interaction with Mark in the hallway. The way he had congratulated him for showering with Lisa. The way Mark had acted like it was the most normal thing in the world for James and Lisa to be doing.

“Right,” I said nodding slowly. “Right, of course.” Mark was fine with it. More than fine, he seemed to support it.

Melissa smiled at me in a reassuring manner. “I think you’re overthinking things, James,” she said softly, “You are young and in college, enjoy your time here. Don’t worry about what everyone thinks. Besides, everyone knows you are allowed to have sex with any woman you wish. No one would ever be bothered by you coming in this locker room and having your way with their girlfriend … or their wife.” Melissa says the last part with a wink. “You can do anything you wish. It’s all up to you.”

The words rolled around in my head like marbles in a jar. "Anything I wish," I echoed almost to myself, the thought making my heart race.

Melissa nodded, her eyes meeting mine with an intensity that left me breathless. "Of course," she said, her voice dropping to a soft murmur that made me lean closer to hear her. "You're James Harris. Just be yourself and everything will work out fine."

Before I could respond, the distant laughter and chatter of the volleyball team filtered through the silence that had fallen over us. Melissa's gaze flickered to the office door and then back to me. She cleared her throat awkwardly and straightened in her chair.

"Anyway, unless you want to play,” she offered seductively,” I should probably get back to work," she indicated glancing at her desk while standing up and motioning towards the door. "But remember what I said, James. It's your life, your college experience - make the most of it."

I nodded, standing up as well and heading towards the door. Just before exiting, I looked back at Melissa who was already engrossed in some paperwork on her desk. Her words still echoed in my mind as I stepped out into the cool corridor.

"Anything I wish..." The phrase began to form new images and ideas in my mind; boundless opportunities and unimaginable experiences right at my fingertips. A vast ocean of possibility opening up before me, beckoning me to dive in headfirst and explore its depths. The anxiety I had felt earlier now seemed trivial compared to the realization that was slowly taking hold of me. The world didn’t need to revolve around the expectations of others, it was mine to shape as I saw fit.

Walking back through the locker room I could hear the girls’ laughter and chattering resume. It was a soothing white noise and washed over me, a reminder of the freedom and openness that defined what my college experience had become. A sense of exhilaration began to build in me as I processed everything Melissa had said.

“Hey James,” I heard one of the volleyball team members say as I walked by. “Aren’t you going to stay and join us for a bit?”

My heart skipped a beat, my nerves momentarily spiking at the invitation. I looked at the girl who had called out to me. She was tall and lean, her dark hair pulled back in a high ponytail. Did I want to stay or were there more pressing things I wanted to tend to at the moment? Perhaps I should even march back into Melissa’s office and have my way with her.