At the Wacky Races

As you step through the chiseled stone door, the universe seems to ripple around you, everything going fuzzy as if the world was painted by Georgia O'keefe. When things slowly resolve back into focus you are standing on the side of a road, an odd collection of race cars and drivers arranged in front of you. Looking over the motley assortment you see the toon that you wanted to meet, standing demurely by her pink racecar, her hand idly tracing over the numeral 5 on the door. "Ah, Penelope," you murmur under your breath as you make your way through the crowd towards her, gently pushing your way to the front of the crowd to get a better look at the petite damsel in the pink racing suit. There's always been something about Penelope Pitstop, perhaps it was her incredible helplessness in the face of danger or her high class southern accent, but ever since you were a kid you've fantasized about the blonde racer. And now that you're here and have the power to meet her, how should you get her alone? Glancing down the line at the other cars and drivers you spy Dick Dastardly and Muttley, their heads together as they snicker, no doubt plotting some nefarious trick to derail the other racers, and that gives you an idea!