Asking for help on the internet…

I’m all alone now. I find the maid outfit Sasha mentioned and try it on. It has everything one could want in a sexy maid outfit, including long gloves, white stockings, the white head piece that I can’t name. It’s clearly pieced together well, with the dress portion clearly having been altered to fit my smaller frame… Sasha put way more thought into this than would be possible if she began preparing as soon as I mentioned wanting more of a job. Looking at myself in the mirror… yup, if losing my virginity as a girl and willingly touching Marks penis didn’t do it before, the mass amount of cuteness staring back at me has definitely squashed any insecurities about my new found femininity. I strike a cute pose I’m pretty sure I remember from Sailor Moon… okay, some insecurities still exist as my face heats up and I swear to never do that again. At least, not where anyone can see me. And I’m alone right now… double piece sign anime pose!

After a few more poses that progressively embarrass me more and more, I turn away from the mirror. That was fun, but Sasha and Mark can never know I did that. It goes to my grave.

Rather than actually clean in a costume that is clearly meant more for looks than real cleaning, I slip into a nice dark brown sweater that is another example of sweaters becoming dresses on me. The sleeves are altered very skillfully though, and it really does look like it was made for me with just the addition of a blue sash. Sasha told me the sweater is actually burgundy, but I just have to take her word on that. I keep the white stockings on though, and proceed to do what cleaning I can around the house.

Which doesn’t take long so forces me to return to my dilemma… nope, still don’t want to make a decision. To Mr. Crab! I enter the guest room and cautiously approach his tank. Despite trying to be non threatening, he raises both claws and opens them as wide as he can in preparation to **** me. I see his claws and am thankful again that they don’t open very wide. He snaps one shut… seriously, what is that red spark that surges in his claw every time he does that? Why can Sasha and Mark not see it? Why red? I can’t even see normal red anymore, but for some reason I can see this spark… this is going to drive me nuts. Where’s a camera!

Oh my phone, duh. I spend a good two hours taking video of… I need a better name than crab or Mr. Crab… Carcin. Like carcinization. The name would be funnier if it turned out he was originally a bird and changed to be more crab like… which for all I know is true. But his love of pinching makes me doubt it.

No matter what angle I take though, nothing shows up in the video. It looks just like a regular crab with wings snapping angrily at the camera… I mean the red sparks don’t show up on camera. Maybe if it destroys something… after recording him mangle the metal bars from before a bit more, I still don’t have anything. I sigh and rub my eyes. Maybe there is some research online about it?

After hours of research… no. Plenty of people have found weird and wacky creatures and put them online, but no one mentions anything about weird sparks or energy that doesn’t show up on camera. I sigh. I don’t even know how I would better find… Oh.

Feeling silly, I connect my phone to Sasha’s home computer and start downloading the videos. I put it in a very simple video editor and type out my observations that don’t show up on screen. It takes most of the rest of the day, and I forget to eat lunch, but I eventually finish. Considering how simple it is, it probably shouldn’t have taken me so long. It’s really just the videos of Carcin snapping and obliterating poor metal pipes with text describing the red sparks, ending with a plea to give me any information about it in the comments. I kind of doubt anyone will actually tell me anything useful, but at least it’s something.

Now I just need to actually post it to YouTube. I feel a bit silly with my old account name of plantsandchairs. I don’t move things for a living anymore, and certainly not plants or chairs. Still, I guess it shouldn’t matter. I finalize the video and start uploading it. And immediately realize I’m an idiot. Who the heck is going to watch some random video by a no name account?! I didn’t even put good tags in, just “weird”, “crab”, “the change”, and “spark”. Why would I put this out there? It’s either going to be seen by no one, or by five people who make fun of me for being afraid of a crab and having no editing skills.

Calm down. It’ll probably be the former. It’s not a big deal. And while it’s hardly a long term solution, I did just manage to waste the whole day away. Yep, just ignore that I put something I put together in a half assed manner out there for other people to see and judge, and focus on the win of having been pretty engrossed and focused on something I find interesting all day… maybe I can delete the video before anyone has a chance to see it.

No! Just walk away. Step away from the computer. It’s okay that I put something objectively awful out there. It’s not like anyone is going to actually harass me over it. Just… ignore the anxiety. Go watch TV.

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“Breaking news alert, a San Diego beach front community was terrorized by a large car sized crab-like monster that killed itself after a rampage estimated to be over a million dollars in damage to houses and vehicles. The oversized crustacean died before any police or military response could arrive when it brought down a power line on top of itself. We have exclusive video in which the monster can be seen dying as sparks fly all around it.”

“Frightening stuff. This just goes to show we need rapid response units in place to handle these threats. We can’t just count on luck like this.”

“True, but wouldn’t such special units be tempting for certain governors to deploy against former humans? New York governor…”

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Nope. Not watching further. Screw you outside world, I am in my happy little bubble waiting for my girlfriend and boyfriend to come home. No one wants me dead here… except Carcin, but he doesn’t count. I think he wants everyone dead equally, I’m just the one he sees the most… Carcinogen! Okay, if Sasha or Mark ask me, I named him Carcin because he wants everyone dead, like a carcinogen that causes cancer. Yes, that is way better than how I actually got there, and it still has the crab connection because cancer is the zodiac sign of a crab. Perfect.

I check the time, and realize Mark and Sasha ought to be back soon. I do a quick look around for anything else that I can do before they get here. I mean… I guess I could try and scrub the toilet really quick. That doesn’t sound very appealing to do right before greeting them home from work though. Toilet water doesn’t really imply that I’m happy to see them… oh. Oh that’s perfect. With little time, I rush to get ready.

Sasha and Mark just barely take long enough to arrive for me to prepare. Mark enters first and freezes on the spot, causing Sasha to run into his back. “Why’d you…” her voice cuts off as she sees me. I’m standing in front of them in the full maid outfit she got me. I’m probably doing it wrong, but I’m doing my best curtsy I can while fighting my face to hold still and stop burning up in embarrassment. Why couldn’t they have been far enough away for me to remember I’m a coward and chicken out of this plan. I must look…

“Oh my god you look adorable! I knew that outfit was perfect.”

“… thank you.” I look down at my feet as I straighten back up. Okay, but Sasha is easy to please. She’s already admitted she wants me in this relationship almost no matter what I do. I peek up at Mark to see his reaction, beyond his initial freeze.

He clears his throat. “You look nice.” Despite the more muted response, it means a bit more coming from him. I’m not even sure if he likes the cutesy stuff. I hope so, since my height makes most anything I put on seem cutesy… why the hell am I so worried about this, he’s been inside me! He better like me… crap, I need Sasha to teach me about makeup.

The rest of the night is calm. We do dinner and a movie before bed, and Sasha insists I sit on her lap in the maid outfit. And since it’s Mark’s turn to make dinner, we steal the recliner while he slaves away in the kitchen.