Annoyances

I feel that tingle in my head again, and the nice, viscerally disturbing voice gives me an answer, "Things that could happen in a normal pregnancy, within certain limits. Fatigue, back pain, cravings, nausea, that sort of thing, and magic and **** will work for most of it. She's not allowed to add any complications that would kill you or the child, but other circumstances might.” He pauses, “Also, she can ‘talk your ear off,’ as the saying goes.”

I cast a Lead Plating spell, modified by Invisible Spell on myself, “thanks for the reminder. Can she hear this conversation?”

“‘Within certain limits’,” the smooth, evil voice parrots, “Yes, I can hear you.”

“Out here, yes, during level up, no,” **** gives me a useful answer, “partly because the child won't come with you, partly because Dad does let us… keep our siblings ‘out of our room’ as it were.”

I nod as I get to my own rented dock, “That's going to be annoying,” I consider the matter.

“I'm not just annoying!” The annoyance shouts in my head.

“Can she hear my thoughts? Read my mind like you can?” That itching sensation hits me.

“No, that's reserved for your actual patron," Finally, some good news.

‘Does that extend to telepathy?’ I can hope.

“I can hear broadcast thoughts just fine, moron,” the idiot yells at me.

“Unfortunately she can hear that, too.” **** confirms, quite redundantly at this point.

So I need to do some hunting, then. Let's see… I check the station infosphere for suitable jobs. I want something that's not morally black or particularly gray, but includes some ****… oh. Station security posts bounties? Possible… ah, Kaiju hunting at Daimalko, some scientists want samples. I could go slay a giant rampaging civilization-destroying evil beast: Sounds fun.

I task a minion with the boring parts of getting us there as I re-attune to the ship (I have to do it again every time I leave and return), and start thinking about what I want for this. With Maximize, Twin and Split Ray, I can get a Spheres Destruction blast dealing some five hundred damage out of one spell, and adding Repeat Spell in as well copies it for the next round… add in my action economy boosters, Quicken Spell, and any other metamagic feat (Invisible Spell maybe), and I can squeeze off as many as eight of those in a round. Should do, even if I can't **** hits on all of the rays when I go nuts. Defensively… I check my AC, saves, list of immunities, and oh yes: I'm invisible. Yeah, okay, I'll be fine.

So when I actually meet one of the seventy foot tall winged beasts (a xaxmellia, specifically), it dies comically easily to the first spell I cast, and even at that it only takes three of the four rays from the first round to kill it. I take tissue samples from the brain, heart, skin, and bone as requested, and have a minion drop them in stasis storage. As I do, the world fades…

…and I'm back in ****'s office, and he already has the sunglasses on. Nice! He looks… pale, though.

“So…” **** begins, “that beast brought you to level eleven.”

“Four levels… that's a lot to pick,” I rub my narrow chin, “...and also means I'll get to start on my plan sooner rather than later.”

“Oh?” He raises one of his black flame eyebrows.

“Yes… and I need some information: Life's deceased lover and deceased child,” I take a breath, “how do I uniquely identify them?”

I feel that itching in my head, “She only had the one of each, so you can use that, which is good, as there's some sharp limits as to how much information I can hand out about them. That said… are you sure that will work?”

“Not even slightly, which is why I have a different plan as well; give me a bit…” I go through the rather involved task of adding four levels of two classes that are literally nothing but choices, and when I'm done, I continue the conversation, “I'd like to hang out here for a little bit after we apply this to me, just a minute or two, if that's okay.”

**** looks over the worksheet, and shrugs, “Looks okay… high numbers as usual. And yes, a moment…” his eyes flash darkly enough to show through the reflective sunglasses, and then he nods, “done. Why did you want to stick around?”

“One, to just be away from Life for a minute. She's…” I consider, “...not exactly nice to me.” **** chuckles, a cold rattle that sends chills up my spine, but I continue anyway, “and two…” I pause, “I'd like to try a spell on you.”

My patron tilts his head, the flames of darkness that serve as his hair continuing to head upwards, “Which spell?”

“Sustain, from the Book of Exalted Deeds.” I take a completely unnecessary breath, “Your food is whatever it is from harvested souls. The energy for my spells comes from a literally infinite supply. The spell adapts the two to keep you on your feet.”

“That cannot possibly work,” I can't see his eyes (and couldn't even if the glasses weren't there, because he doesn't exactly have them), but I am SURE he's giving me a blank stare.

“Why not?” I shrug, “Worst-case, nothing happens.”

The demonic looking divine entity pulls out his parchment, his hand shaking, and he circles a very short item… I'm guessing two words. “Context is everything…” he whispers to himself, “...and in this case…” he takes a slow breath, and looks up from the page at me, “...okay. You have my permission.”

“Not as subtle as He usually is, then?” I chuckle as I cast, finding my finger lingers on the strong jaw as I complete the touch range spell.

“He isn't always so subtle,” **** shrugs, “Oh, that feels better… huh…” and the darkness seems to coalesce better under his skin now, “there was one instance where He had me simply collect an entire army ahead of schedule because they were bad people who were threatening some folks who loved and trusted Him. A couple of hundred soldiers woke up the next day to find that the couple hundred thousand strong army that was going to war against them was simply dead. There was also a desert nation where…” the man pauses, “but I digress. Thank you. This… should sustain me up until you die.”

I smile, “I'll endeavor to stay alive, then….”

“Oh, you can't die, at least not for the next nine months,” **** shrugs, “My sister won't let you. Dad's orders for…” he pauses, “...and I'm not allowed to tell you the details.”

I pause to take a breath, but my patron interrupts,“Be seeing you.” And I'm very abruptly back in the real world.