Anne-Marie embarrasses the girls

Anne-Marie, homecoming queen and top of the high school food chain, was extremely aware that embarrassment could be a kind of social ****. It was a fact that she had more than once used to her advantage.

She also was not stupid. She knew people thought she was stupid, sometimes, because she was a cheerleader. She thought those people were stupid. She suspected that Bonnie and Susie both thought she was stupid. Otherwise, why would Bonnie have stolen her boyfriend? Why would Susie have insulted her personally in the pages of the New Yorker? Would you do that to somebody you thought was cool and smart?

She thought both girls needed to learn a lesson about who was smart and who was stupid. It wasn't a lesson they were going to like.

"Bonnie," she said, "beg like a dog."

"Woof woof," said Bonnie, holding her hands up like paws, and instantly wanted to sink into the earth as the audience laughed. There was Hank whatshisname, from the football team, sitting right up in the second row, laughing his thick head off! She hated Hank! She didn't want him to see her begging like a dog!

"Susie," said Anne, "act like a cat."

"Meow," said Susie, miserably. "Meow." She got down on her hands and knees and began to twine around Bonnie's legs, rubbing her head against her friend's jeans, wanting to burrow underground. That was Ben Hoolihan from the chess club in the third row, leaning forward with his chin propped on his hands to study her more closely. Ben was in her math class. She didn't hate him, but she absolutely did not want him to see her act like a cat!

"Adorable," said Anne, ruffling Susie's hair. Susie wanted to slap her in the face, but instead she licked Anne's hand and said "Meow meow meow." Anne pushed her away, gently. She'd just thought of an even funnier game.

"Okay, girls," she said, brightly. "I'm going to ask you a few questions. Now, you you have to answer right away, and you're not allowed to lie. Bonnie, what boy do you have the biggest crush on?"

"Hank," said Bonnie, and immediately her face turned bright red as Hank's mouth fell open. It wasn't even true! She didn't have a big crush on Hank! It might technically be the case that of all the boys she had a crush on, she had the biggest one on Hank, but it was still a pretty small crush. A couple of other boys from the football team leaned over to high-five Hank as he sat there, still trying to process it.

"Susie," said Anne, sweetly. "What boy do you have the biggest crush on?"

"Ben," muttered Susie, and Ben almost fell off his chair. "Meow."

Anne looked them up and down, thoughtfully, as Bonnie made adorable little puppy noises and Susie did her best to purr, crawling around on the floor in her little black skirt. She'd done a lot of damage, she thought, but not enough. Something was missing. Something that would really embarrass them.

Of course, she thought. It was obvious.