All bets are off

September 7, 10:32 AM

District Court

Defendant Lobby No. 1

After von Karma's grand announcement, the judge ordered a 10-minute recess, though it seemed to irritate further the prosecutor, who had her witness ready and did not see the need to stop. I guess the judge needs to nurse his whip wounds. At least, this time, Ms. Fey wasn't having a panic attack in the corner.

Mia:

"Well... von Karma is certainly more... intense than I expected."

Chance:

"Hey, at least, you weren't stuck in a room with her, telling her things she didn't want to hear. Which is anything other than a confession."

Maya chuckled.

Maya:

"Y'know, some people would pay good money to be whipped by a hot woman for an hour."

Mia:

"Maya!"

You snorted.

Chance:

"Well, they can take my place anytime they want. It's really not my kink."

Ms. Fey didn't know who to be more scandalized by.

Mia:

"Mr. Fortunate!"

You raised your hands in surrender.

Chance:

"Sorry, sorry. I'm just trying to lift up the mood."

She sighed at these words.

Mia:

"I know, but it's not the most appropriate way to do so. Besides, I don't think you can really calm me down."

Chance:

"I bet I can."

Ms. Fey raised an eyebrow at your words.

Mia:

"Really? And what's the bet, Mr. Fortunate?"

You shrugged.

Chance:

"I bet that I can calm you down and raise your mood. If I win... If I win, you'll have to call me by my first name."

Mia:

"And if you lose?"

Chance:

"I dunno... I guess I'll stop flirting with you."

Ms. Fey shook your hand.

Mia:

"Very well, I'll take that bet. Now do your best."

Well, now you only had to calm down an overstressed lawyer in the middle of a very difficult trial where the opposite counsel completely controlled the proceedings and whipped anyone who didn't conform to her extremely high expectations. Good, I was afraid I'd have to do something hard. As you were searching for an idea to cheer her up, your mouth moved on its own.

Chance:

"You know, I know someone who can talk in the language of owls."

Mia:

"Who?"

Chance:

"Oh, you can too?"

Well, that might be the worst joke you knew. Well played, Chance, well played. Now, she's gonna... Ms. Fey snorted.

Mia:

"Well, I wasn't expecting that. Congratulations!"

You blinked. Maya blinked. The coin in your pocket pulsed with heat.

Maya:

"Really? That joke sucked!"

You really had to agree with her.

Mia:

"And it probably wouldn't work again. But it doesn't need to. Now, the recess is almost over, we'll have to go back in court."

Chance:

"I'm following you, Ms. Fey."

Mia:

"Oh, and Chance?"

She turned to you with a blinding smile.

Mia:

"Call me Mia."

---

September 7, 10:42 AM

District Court

Courtroom No. 1

Ms. Fey—Mia, I'm supposed to call her Mia—looked calm and confident. This would usually be a good thing, but... You pulled your good luck coin/spiritual artifact from your pocket. I have a feeling you're responsible for this. Am I wrong?

The coin felt... almost amused. Which it shouldn't, as an inert piece of metal. Except you're not just a piece of metal, aren't you? And once again, nobody reacted to you pulling out a contraband item in the middle of a courtroom. This should have been terrifying. You should freak out. But you knew that all the coin wanted was to help you.

Judge:

"Court will now reconvene. Now, the first order of... Oww!"

von Karma:

"I don't want to hear it, old man. After I call my witness, sit there quietly and watch like a good little boy."

Well, seems like von Karma noticed Mia's confidence too. And she's not happy about it.

Judge:

"Y-Yes, sir."

And the judge didn't grow a backbone during the recess either. Not that I was expecting him to...

von Karma:

"Bring in the woman who witnessed the ****!"

---

So there she is. The woman who claims to have seen me do it. She certainly seemed innocent, with her salmon pink flip hair and pink blazer with heart-shaped buttons. And I suppose the amount of cleavage it shows doesn't hurt either.

von Karma:

"Witness, your name."

Isn't she supposed to ask for the witness' occupation too? Mia had clearly noticed it too, judging by the hardening of her face, but she didn't raise an objection.

April:

"April May! At your service!"

April's last word was punctuated by a wink and a bounce of her boobs, which sent the gallery into excited whispers. Seems she knows how to use her sex appeal, too. The judge, however, didn't seem to be fully under the witness' charm yet, judging at how he slammed his gavel.

Judge:

"Order! An introduction should not require any reaction from the crowd! The witness will refrain from wanton winking!"

April:

"Aww... Yes, Your Honor."

Von Karma seemed irritated at the display, but refrained from whipping April. That's unusual from her. That's two instances of weird behavior from her regarding her witness. I'm starting to see a pattern I'm not sure I like.

von Karma:

"Now, Miss April May, tell us where you were on the night of the ****!"

April:

"Um... gee... I was, like, in my hotel room? Tee hee. I checked in right after lunch. And my window, like, faced the crime scene, so I saw all of it happen."

Judge:

"I see. Please testify to the court about what you saw."

---

Witness Testimony

April:

"It was, like, 9:00 at night. I looked out the window, y'know! And then, oooh! I saw a man with really spiky hair being attacked! The one attacking her was the weird guy sitting in the defendant's chair! Then the victim, like, dodged to the right and ran off! But that guy, he ran after him... And he hit him with that weapon! Then the man with the spiky hair... He kinda... slumped. I was really scared, so I screamed and called the police. Then, the murderer, like, dropped his weapon and ran away from the office."

---

Judge:

"I see. It is a remarkably solid testimony, and I don't see a need to trouble the witness any further."

Mia was really incensed at that remark.

Mia:

"Your Honor, I haven't cross-examined the witness yet!"

Judge:

"I thought the witness's testimony just now was quite... firm. Didn't you?"

Well, the judge isn't as immune to April's charms as I thought.

Mia:

"It is the defense's prerogative to cross-examine the witnesses, Your Honor! Besides, I believe there are still a few gray areas in our understanding of this night that a cross-examination would lift."

Judge:

"Well, I guess you do have the right to press the witness after their testimonies. Fine, you may begin your cross-examination."

---

Witness Testimony - Cross Examination

Mia:

"Now, Miss May, you said you looked out the window at 9PM. Did you have a reason for that?"

April:

"Oh, well, um... gee! I sort of, y'know... I had a feeling, that's all."

Mia:

"A feeling? Are you sure you didn't have any other reason to look?"

von Karma:

"Your Honor! The counsel for the defense is badgering the witness!"

Mia:

"I'm merely asking a question, Ms. von Karma."

von Karma:

"A question she has already answered! You really have no reason further harassing that poor innocent girl any further, you foolish fool foolishly badgering Miss April May!"

Judging by the shouts of the peanut gallery, it seems like the crowd agrees with her. The judge slammed his gavel, interrupting the commotion.

Judge:

"Order! Ms. Fey, you will refrain from badgering that poor girl any further!"

Mia seemed incensed at the prospective, but quickly regained her calm and nodded.

Mia:

"Very well, Your Honor. Moving on, you said that the victim dodged the first attack to the right. Now would that be your right, his or the murderer's?"

April:

"Um... which hand do I hold my knife in again...? Right! It was my right hand! Right?"

Mia:

"...I see. And then, the murderer hit Mr. Wright with his weapon. Could you elaborate on what sort of weapon it was?"

April:

"The weapon? Well, it was that clock! Um... the kinda statue-y clock? The Thinker, I think?"

Mia pulled out a statue, which was indeed a small copy of Rodin's sculpture.

Mia:

"I suppose you are referring to this statue."

April:

"Tee hee! That's right."

Mia:

"Except you didn't call it a statue, you called it a clock. While it is indeed a clock, there would be no way for you to know that by just seeing it. So, Miss May, how you know this was a clock?"

April:

"What...! Th-that's... ...Because... I heard it? Yes! I heard it say the time!"

Mia:

"Oh? I'm afraid that would be impossible!"

von Karma:

"The witness' hotel room is quite close to your law offices. She could easily have heard the clock!"

Mia:

"Whether she was close enough to hear it or not is irrelevant. You see, at the time of the ****, I was using the clock as storage for a few sensitive documents, and as a result, the statue is missing its clockwork."

Judge:

"Why, you're right! The clock is empty! Although I do not see any documents either."

Mia:

"I'm afraid the documents were stolen, probably at the time of the ****. However, the point is that this clock couldn't have rung. Which means the witness couldn't possibly have heard it. So Miss May, let me ask again, how did you know that weapon was a clock!?"

April:

"...W-well...! Well, isn't it o-obvious? I saw that clock before! Um... what store was that again? I-I go to so many! Oops! I forgot!"

April once again punctuated her words with a wink and a bounce, but Mia knew that she had her on the ropes and wasn't about to give up now.

Mia:

"Once again, that's impossible. You see, this clock was custom-made. Only two in the world exist, and the other was, quite ironically, used as a **** weapon as well. You might remember Phoenix Wright's first and, unfortunately, last case, Your Honor? The point is, that statue was never sold in any store, so I'm afraid you'll need a better excuse, Miss May."

That last remark was the last drop for April, who finally showed her true self.

April:

"Oooh? Oh ho ho. Mmmrrrrph! Ooooorrrrrrr ggggghhhhhhh... hhh!!! What's it to you, you big-boobed bimbo!? That stupid clock doesn't matter, okay!? He did it! And he should die for it! Die!"

Judge:

"W-w-whoa! Let's not get ahead of ourselves. T-this is a court of law, and the witness will remain calm!"

April:

"Hrrrgh... hrrrh... Hrrr... heh. Oh? Oh! Oh? Oh hoh ho! S-silly me! *grunt* Did I, um, like... lose it? I guess I did. Tee hee!"

However, it was too late to put the genie back in the bottle and, judging by the mutters in the gallery, people wouldn't forget April's outburst no matter how bouncy her breasts were.

Judge:

"Miss May, let me ask again. Tell me, how did you know the weapon was a clock?"

April remained silent. What, nothing more to say? Are your feminine charms not enough anymore?

Mia:

"I believe I can offer an explanation, Your Honor."

Judge:

"Really, Ms. Fey? Well, I'm all ears."

Mia pulled out a black electronic contraption and slammed it on the table.

Mia:

"I found this wiretap in Miss May's room, and I found the other half as well, in my office's landline. I once mentioned The Thinker on the phone to my sister, and I believe this is how she found out about the statue being a clock. So, Miss May, am I wrong?"

April:

"Shut up, all of you! What gives you the right to talk to ME like that! I bet you enjoy ganging up on poor naive girls, you... you LAWYER!"

And that's when it hit you. April tried to turn up the charm once again, but you were no longer listening. I bet you enjoy ganging up on poor naive girls... those words made you think of others you said earlier. I bet that I can calm you down. And even now, Mia still kept her calm. What's more, she allowed you to call her by her first name, even though she shot you down when you tried to flirt the day before. Because that was my prize for winning the bet.

You now knew what your coin could do. Or at least, you had a pretty good idea. And with that came a plan.

Chance:

"Your Honor, if I may..."

The strike of a whip interrupted you. It's stronger than before, I guess von Karma must be pretty backed up.

von Karma:

"You will remain quiet unless we call you, defendant. This is a court of law, not some classroom where you can interject just by raising your hand!"

Mia didn't add anything, but seemed to agree with the opposite counsel.

Chance:

"I know that, Ms. von Karma, but I have something to say to the witness. I believe it could be crucial to the case."

Von Karma seemed furious and Mia was doing an impressive job at silently conveying "What the hell are you doing", but before either of them could interject again, the judge slammed his gavel.

Judge:

"I'll allow it. But be warned defendant, if this isn't as important as you claim it is, it could severely hurt your case."

Chance:

"Thank you, Your Honor. Now Miss May, I'll make a bet with you. Think of a number between 1 and 50. If I can't guess it, my lawyer will stop any inquiry on the subject of the clock. If however I manage to guess it correctly, you will withdraw your testimony."

April giggled cutely while still managing to convey a condescending sneer.

April:

"Well, if it can, like, get that mean lawyer off my case, I'll do it. Now, guess my number, tee hee."

Chance:

"You were thinking of the number 1."

April:

"Like, that's... That's right. How? No one ever thinks of the number 1, they all guess either in the middle or towards the end."

The judge slammed his gavel.

Judge:

"Well, I guess that means we can no longer use Miss May's testimony to convict the defendant. Prosecutor von Karma, do you have any other evidence or testimony to present?"

von Karma:

"Regrettably Your Honor, I have nothing more."

Von Karma was way too calm for someone obsessed with perfection who just lost her first case, and the coin in your pocket was radiating with warmth. Somehow, you thought the two occurrences might be linked.

Judge:

"I see. Then, I have no other choice but to declare the defendant..."

---

September 7, 11:21 AM

District Court

Defendant Lobby No. 1

Well, it was nice to see your gamble pay off. The coin in your pocket sent a pulse of warmth, as if to say "You're welcome". Yes, thank you, coin. Without you, I probably wouldn't be a free man, right now. Well, that was not entirely fair, you were sure that Mia could have gotten you out of here. Eventually. With lots of effort, questioning and no doubt a moderate amount of whipping.

When you think about it, I did Mia a favor. Speaking of which... Where is Mia? She was supposed to join you here after the trial was over. She couldn't be mad about your bet, could she? I mean, the coin should stop her from getting mad, but... Well, she's a spirit medium, and maybe her powers...

Your train of thought was interrupted by its object bursting in the room.

Chance:

"Hey Mia, I... What's wrong?"

Mia didn't look happy at having won the trial. She didn't even look angry at your stunt. No, she looked distraught.

Mia:

"It's Maya... They arrested her for Phoenix's ****!"

Ah. Fuck.