After panic? Okay.

With my head still pounding, I try to come up with a plan. Beyond giving up drinking, that’s pretty much a given now. I try to remember as much of last night as possible. Any detail could be important. I… don’t think anything too bad happened? A horrible chill runs down my spine. I pull up my blue nightgown and pull down my panties to look at my pussy. My throbbing head mocks me when I see nothing unusual, and realize that doesn’t mean much. What was I expecting, a little flag with Marks face on it saying he was here? Still, it doesn’t feel like it’s been used… I don’t think. What would my pussy feel like after my first time? … bad mind! Stop thinking weird things! I shake my head to clear my thoughts… damn it I need to get rid of this hangover.

Okay… I have better odds of climbing over Sasha since she is smaller than Mark, but Mark is less likely to wake up since he is so solid… I think that’s how that would work anyway. My best bet is going over their legs. But if I mess up they will both be awake. Okay, if that happens then I make a run for it.

I carefully, slowly stand up on the bed. And then I slowly sit back down, as my head gives me no other option other than collapsing from dizziness. I take several deep breaths. I can do this. I crawl down towards my captors intertwined legs. Once I am right next to them, I take one more deep breath, and stand up and quickly begin stepping over them before my head can get too dizzy. The steps are about as clumsy and heavy as my tiny body can manage, but I make it over and somehow don’t wake them up.

I crawl off the bed, and leave the room, slowly as I lean heavily against the walls. I make it to the kitchen and try to get a glass of water. But, the stool that’s in the kitchen specifically for me to crawl on and reach things easier is, ironically enough, too tall for me to climb on top of with my head pounding. I cling to the stool and rest my face against its cool wooden surface and contemplate my own failures as a human being… or whatever the shit I am.

“What are you doing?” I am shocked to hear Sasha’s voice, but the only benefit of my current state is I feel too crappy to jump, in surprise or otherwise. So I just keep my face on the stool.

“… water.” Ah yes. The joys of losing basic speaking skills out of sheer embarrassment. That’s alright, I’m sure we have nothing important to talk about that can’t be hashed out with single word sentences.

Luckily Sasha understands me and gets a glass of water. She also helps me to sit at the counter like a normal person instead of clinging to a stool. I drink my water gratefully… and then wish I had the self control to go slower as I now have no excuse not to talk about last night.

“Feeling better? You drank a lot.” Sasha, why do you sound like nothing happened?!

“Uh… yeah.” I can do this! That was a word AND a meaningless mouth sound. Progress. Now I just have to go a bit further. “We all did.” Yes! Three words! And now she can laugh and agree that everything that happened was just the ****’s fault. And we can laugh awkwardly and never talk about it again.

“Speak for yourself. I was buzzed, not drunk.” Noooo! Sasha! You are supposed to follow the sitcom script! This is the awkward morning after where everyone denies anything happened or that it meant anything! I don’t know how to respond if you go off script like this! My face feels red, and I look down into my empty glass. “Let me make some breakfast. Mark will probably be up in a bit.”

I fidget in my seat. My headache has lessened now, but I can’t say I feel any better with the growing knot of uncertainty forming in my stomach. Sasha starts making eggs as if everything is fine. I find myself breathing too much. Slow down. Don’t have a melt down in the kitchen while literally nothing is happening. Okay. Now form the question. It’s a long one, so think it through. “What happened last night?” Yeah, it will sound just like that… holy shit I didn’t mean to say that out loud yet.

Sasha glances back at me. “You don’t remember? We played a drinking game. I guess you did get pretty drunk.” Okay, we are back on script. She’s taking advantage of me not remembering much and leaving out the awkward bits. “Then we kissed, and you kissed Mark.” Sasha! Why do you do this to me! My face is on fire as I stare fixedly at my lap. I can feel my eyes tear up. I should run away. She’s not going to ignore it which means I’ve ruined everything. I can feel my nose getting runny. I sniff hard to keep it from dripping onto my face, and instantly realize my mistake. Sasha turns around and sees me trying not to cry. She puts the egg pan off the stove and quickly makes her way over to me.

“Honey, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?” My tears spill over and I feel the first ones stream slowly down my cheeks. I shake my head, both to answer her question and to try and get my feelings under control. “Please don’t have a panic attack. Last night was great. I am happy with everything. No one is mad at you, in fact me and Mark are happy it all happened.” I guess she knows me well enough to figure out what my stupid brain is doing. But I know it’s not that stupid. It’s completely right. She’s just too nice to tell me I’ve ruined everything. She hates me now.

Sasha hugs me close and sighs. She takes me by the wrists. She must have finally figured out I’m a waste of space. She’s going to throw me out and… her lips are on mine. I faintly wonder if Sasha’s solution to everything is kisses. It’s… not the worst way to have a panic attack interrupted. Still kissing me, she slides her hands underneath my butt and lifts me up in her arms. She carries me back to her bedroom and hops onto the bed standing up so we are near the ceiling. She breaks the kiss long enough to look down and kick Mark lightly in the stomach to wake him up. Oof, the disrespect.

Mark rubs his belly and his eyes, before looking up at Sasha towering over his sleeping body, carrying me. “Wha-aa?” A fair question Mark. I have no answers, so I just sniffle again to keep my runny nose from making this worse. I really should get a tissue.

Sasha kneels down and puts me on his stomach. “Kiss her until she accepts that last night happened and it’s okay. When she’s calmed down, come out and eat breakfast. I’m making eggs.” Sasha marches out of the room, hopping down off the bed like it’s normal.

Me and Mark look at each other, both similarly confused. But… I am starting to notice a pattern. I think… maybe… Sasha wants me and Mark. Like… in a polyamorous arrangement. No. That can’t be right. Sasha is more wild than me, but that’s like saying someone is more interesting than dirt. Mark sighs. “Are you okay? You seemed calmer at the end of last night.” The end? I remember a lot of kissing, but I’m not sure if I remember everything. How would I know if I forgot something?

I need to know… but I can’t look him in the face and ask this. I cover my eyes to make it easier to say. “… just kiss?” Close enough.

“Sure, if that’s what you want.” What? How is that an answer to my question of if we only kissed last night? His lips on mine makes it clear he didn’t understand the question. I feel my arms grow weak as he keeps kissing me. I think about pulling away… but I don't. I hold still and feel his arms around me pull me in and feel safe and warm. Sasha wants me to do this. Mark is doing this. Maybe… it really is okay?

Mark pulls away and helps my arms give up and fall away to show my full face. He gives me one more chaste kiss. “As fun as it is to wake up to a cute girl like you being dropped into my lap, why don’t we go get breakfast.” I nod shyly, and Mark gets up and carries me back to the kitchen… after he gets a tissue from the table and wipes my nose. Just let my embarrassment kill me already.

He sets me down at the kitchen counter, just in time for Sasha to set a plate of scrambled eggs and toast in front of me. We all begin eating in silence for a bit before Sasha decides it’s time to talk. “So, I should apologize. I know things have been difficult for you recently, and I know you don’t like ambiguity in relationships. So I’ll just come out and say it. I think you should embrace your new girl self and join me and Mark as a throuple. Which is just a couple but with three people.”

… I… what? I glance at Mark. He unhelpfully shrugs and smiles at me. What does that mean Mark! Your girlfriend just asked me to date her! And you! What does a shrug mean in this situation! Sasha sees my building panic. “You don’t have to come to a decision right this second. Maybe we could put that aside for a bit. What about just embracing your girly side. Honestly, it wasn’t obvious before because of how big and silent you were, but a lot of your personality has always been kind of feminine. So, let’s just put the dating thing aside for a moment. How about we do some dress up! I picked up some new clothes for you the other day.”

Rather than answering, I just stare down at the last piece of toast on my plate and use it to wipe the plate clean before eating it. My head still hurts, and I can’t deal with this anymore.

“… so, did you think about a new name? For a new you?” What is she… oh, right. She asked about that before. A new name? That’s at least slightly less hard to think about… except that picking a new name inherently means people will know it’s a name you chose. Pick a cool name? You are trying too hard. Pick a stupid one? You can’t even blame your parents.

“… you pick.” Despite my shy blushing face and continued headache, I’m a little smug about this. I don’t have to accept the name, but if I do and it’s stupid then they can’t make fun of me. It gives her what she wants without actually dealing with my own tendency to overthink things.

“Melody!” Well shit. I guess she has already thought about this a lot. In fact, thinking back I get the feeling they both have talked about me a lot behind my back recently. Mark may not be as gung-ho about it as Sasha, but he hasn’t seemed surprised once about her apparent desire to get back with me in a weird sort of way. Yeah, they’ve definitely had talks together. I don’t know how I should feel about this realization, but I actually feel a bit better.

“Melody? Okay.” Perfectly non-committal statement.

“Okay! So Melody, I don’t have to work today, but Mark is going in for a while. So, let’s have a girly day. Just you and me, getting in touch with your feminine side!” I just sit there, trying to get my face to cool down.

————————————————————————

Sasha has me try on several small sets of clothes. Most are clearly just more mature styled kids clothes, but a couple do seem to be ones that just happen to work on a smaller body. She finally settles on a proverbial little black dress that goes down to my knees and hugs my curves tightly and hangs off of thin string shoulder straps. She pulls me over to her full mirror. “Well, what do you think Melody?” She’s been very insistent on using my new name at every opportunity, which makes her sound a little strange. But I guess she’s tryin to help me adjust. It’s probably not healthy to keep thinking of myself as James the big guy who moves heavy things for a living, when I can’t move a lot of light things anymore.

“Um, it’th… it’s good.” I was never one for fashion, and even if I was I can’t be sure if black goes with my skin. I assume it does, since black goes with everything, but I know my skin is green now even if I can’t see it. I just look like a moderately tanned person to me. With blue hair, but let’s just ignore that.

“Melody, You look great! Let’s try makeup next!” Wait, what?! I didn’t agree to this.

“Th-Sasha. I don’t need makeup.” It’s getting far into the morning, but I am managing to string full sentences together.

“I know you don’t need it. But it’ll be fun. Trust me Melody, or at least humor me.” She pulls me over to her bathroom. She lifts me onto the counter and lays out her equipment. I end up sighing and just closing my eyes for most of what happens next. What feels like forever later, she makes me face the mirror. “Okay Melody, open your eyes.”

… well shit. “I couldn’t do as much as I’d like to since your skin tone is not something my makeup is meant for, but still I think it turned out nice. You’re so cute!” I look… wow. My eyes especially seem almost transformed with the mascara and eye shadow making them seem so much bigger. My lips, honestly seem a little dull and brown, but I suspect that’s another trick of my eyes.

“What color lipstick?”

“Candy apple red… oh, right. Maybe next time I can get something you can see. Ooh, maybe I could find some that matches your hair.” I blush for the hundredth time today, imagining what I must look like to someone who can see all the colors. But… I think I feel… cute. I smile shyly at my reflection. Maybe it’s okay that I’m not James anymore.

Sasha and I keep hanging out, trying on some other clothes, and playing video games until Mark gets home. It feels weird, but I just do all the things I would normally do. Just in a dress and makeup. Sasha does chide me to be careful when eating lunch not to mess up the makeup, but other than that it’s not that different. I guess this sort of thing is easier to do when all I have to do is hang out at home all day. I might feel differently if I was going to work looking like this. But, it feels nice being cute. Especially with Sasha to keep praising me for being cute. I’m not going to let her know she might be right about the whole embracing my new identity thing just yet though. Her ego is way too big right now.