Admitting it.

“I know Mila, Grace and Sarah,” Alice continued. “They know me just as well. I practically trust them more than I trust myself. If you… If we tried to have something together, and it worked between us, I’m confident I wouldn’t feel jealous of them, strange as it is to even say it. But what about Noelle, Oliver? You’re not blind. You know she’s into you, and you like her too, right?”

“...They really filled you in on everything, huh?”

“They wanted to make sure I understood everything.”

“...I’m going to sound like the biggest asshole on the planet,” I said, groaning.

“Try it. I already know someone with that title, and his spot is pretty secure.”

I sighed. “How Mila, Grace, Sarah and I ended up in this relationship is something I’ll probably never understand. Regardless, I… I love them, I really do. I’m trying and will continue to try my damnedest to make them as happy as I can.” My mouth was drying and my head felt light. “But while they’re the ones… encouraging this open relationship, I can’t lie and say I don’t want it either.” I rubbed the bridge of my nose and tried not to look at Alice. If I did, the words would escape me. I needed to focus. “It shouldn’t be a surprise, really. I’m already the guy who asked three girls out at the same time, so I guess it’d be hard to believe if I said I was against this at first. The last thing I want is to ruin what we have. However…” I furrowed my brow, bit my lip and took a hand to my chest, grabbing my coat tightly. My heart was pounding hard, to the point it nearly hurt. “I want it, Alice.” I looked straight into her eyes. She was listening closely, keeping any and all judgment off her face, at least until I finished talking. “I want Mila, Grace and Sarah. I want Noelle. I want you.”

That broke her straight face. Her eyes widened just as her cheeks reddened even more.

“I know it sounds fucking insane,” I said, holding my head. “I wouldn’t be saying this if the girls hadn’t pushed me to this point, to admit it, but it’s the truth. And what’s more, I know we could make it work.” My voice was beginning to rise as I grew more excited and more convinced of my own words. Say it with confidence or no one will believe you. “I could make you all the happiest people in the world! I could promise it! You’re amazing, Alice. You’re gorgeous, smart, and far more hardworking and passionate than I ever thought. If given the chance, I’d be twice as insane if I didn’t try to convince you to go out with me, too.”

It was when I was done that I realized how… agitated I’d gotten. Probably would’ve never gotten those words out if not for that, but I wasn’t sure saying all that was even a good thing.

Alice kept silent. She pursed her lips and looked into town again, into the thousand small dots of light that decorated the view. She was contemplating my words, I could tell. I felt my headache threatening to come back as I felt like I was close to reading Alice’s mind. Yet her thoughts remained her own, and I was thankful for it. Setting aside why it happened or how helpful it was at times, reading people’s minds bothered me.

She remained quiet for a little longer, for an approximate total of two full minutes. Then, as she fingered with her hands, and without looking at me, she asked. “Do you really think I’m all that?”

The high of my excitement, courage and confidence still didn’t completely leave me, so I answered firmly. “I do. I’ve always admired your work ethic and commitment, but I always thought you were keeping people away. Now I’ve seen a glimpse of the real you, and I want to see more.”

Alice looked down at the ground and kept fidgeting with her hands. Then she turned and stepped up to me. Then… she came closer, enough that her chest nearly touched mine, enough that her face was so close I could hear her breathe.

Alice closed her eyes, leaned in and kissed me.

It was soft, tender and inexperienced, and it almost made my chest burst with a plethora of mixed emotions. She then held my arms and pushed a little deeper, pressing her lips harder against mine. I trusted her body language and took a gamble.

I held her closer, wrapping my arms around her. I took the lead, putting a hand on the back of her neck and kissing her back. Alice’s body didn’t even tense up. Instead she relaxed and let me lead her.

I gently tried to probe her lip with my tongue, and Alice let me in. She tightened her grip on my jacket and took in a deep breath before we started truly making out.

My brain was in overdrive. There were too many things at once. The taste of Alice’s lips, the movements of her tongue, her body pressed against mine, the fact that we were kissing at all, and the thought that she wasn’t Mila, Grace or Sarah. All of that and more just… lit a bonfire in me.

I unconsciously deepened the kiss, tasted more of her mouth, held her closer as if afraid she’d be gone the moment I let go. I didn’t want this to end, and Alice’s response was to reciprocate as best she could. She let out soft, sexy moans. She let go of my arms to wrap hers around my neck.

One minute, two minutes, three minutes. I pulled back only when I noticed Alice needed to breathe. She gasped, still holding me close, and once she was ready she dove right back in.

Our lips met a second time, and it was the confirmation I needed to know that it wasn’t going to be over soon. Thank the stars watching over us.

It was my turn to half-sit on the railing, trying to find a position that was just a bit more comfortable for us. Alice couldn’t have cared less. She kept kissing me and letting me lead.

“Mmmph. Mmm. Haaah… Hmph…” Her voice, her breathing, her moans… It was all so fucking sexy.

For the next 30 minutes, we made out like it’d be the last time we ever would. And though not quite, it wasn’t THAT far off.

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