A slight detour

Miranda grabbed Jack by the hand and pulled, leading the tattooed woman off the path.

"Hey! We're the fuck are we going?!" Jack barked, "I thought you said that Shepard's place was that way!"

"It is!" Miranda replied as she gave a sly smile, "We're just taking a small detour!"

Galaxies away, a naked Tali slept peacefully in the arms of an equally naked Garrus, the turian's manhood still inside the quarian.

*BZZT! BZZT!*

Tali groaned in annoyance as she reached out with one hand and felt around for her omnitool, grabbing it before squinting at the message from Samantha.

Tali! First of all, sorry to bother you and your birdie boy toy. You aren't gonna believe this, but a certain someone just uploaded Jack and Miranda's newlywed life to the ethernet! However, her latest video is the one that's got me stumped.

The message came with a link, causing Tali to roll her eyes and mute the omnitool before clicking the link.

"KEELAH!" Tali shouted, jolting Garrus awake.

"Hey, Ori? Isn't this your sister?"

Oriana turned to her friend who showed her the video, letting out a surprised gasp as she saw Miranda's naked ass running through the park alongside Jack's.

"I... Gotta go." Oriana said as she left the party she was attending with some classmates, muttering to herself. "I got to help them!"

"Well, looks like Kasumi already uploaded her little money maker." Jane said, shaking her head as she looked at her omnitool. "If Jack and Miranda were going to kill her before..."

"At this rate, I'm curious as to why she thought poking two angry varrens was a good idea in the first place." Liara commented, "It's not like they're gonna let her get away with it."

"Hang on, Samantha just sent me another video link." Jane said, opening it up... And going wide eyed at the sight of Kasumi bathing in a shallow stream. "What the -"

"Stupid black and white cat getting angry and peeing on me!" The Kasumi in the live video muttered as she rubbed the bar of soap across her skin. "Ugh! I still stink!"

"Well, if Jack and Miranda don't kill her first, Kasumi is most likely going to die of embarrassment once she finds out about this." Liara said with a chuckle. "And why would a cat make her smell bad, anyway?"

"Well," Jane replied as she eyed the video, "unless I missed my guess, it would seem that Kasumi got skunked. I almost feel bad for her. Almost."

"Why's that?"

"Let's just say I had a bad first day at boot camp when I was an Ensign and leave it at that..."

"Monkeys?!" A wet and naked Kasumi shouted as she got out of the stream, staring down at the paw prints that stole everything but her cloaking device, recorder, and the device she bought from the black market. "Some kind of group of forest monkeys stole my clothes?!"

Kasumi groaned as she picked up her remaining stuff, placing her recorder over her...

"Whoa!" Samantha shouted with a laugh as she and a wide eyed Ashley sat at a bar booth, staring at a close up of Kasumi's bare womanhood. "Someone's shaved the cat!"

"That is far more Kasumi then I am comfortable with seeing!" Ashley muttered, "We didn't even get that close with Jack or Miranda."

"Well, at least those stupid monkey's left my cloak..." Kasumi muttered, activating the device as she followed the footprints again.

"Damn it, Miranda! Where the hell are we going?!" Jack shouted as Miranda led her to a clearing that led to a lake, the full moon reflecting off the crystal waters. As Miranda came to a stop, Jack looked around. "Why the fuck are we here instead of going to Shep's place?"

"For this." Miranda replied as she turned to face Jack, gently bringing her lips to Jack's in a passionate kiss.

Jack blinked a few times. She and Miranda had kissed many times before these past two days, but this was something different. Something that wasn't like the hungry kisses she was used to.

Something... Much, much better, causing her to kiss back.

Kasumi grinned wickedly as she crouched in a nearby bush, having finally found her prey again as she pressed the button on her recorder. However, she was unaware of two things.

Firstly, as her recorder was already on before, she had merely turned the recording off.

And second, as she was a human who was not native to Earth, Kasumi had no way of knowing that she was crouched neck deep in a bush of poison ivy...

As the two finally pulled away, Jack took a deep breath. "That was..." She began, shaking her head as she cleared her throat. "That was good and all, but you seriously brought me here to fuck?"

"Nope." Miranda said as she looked into Jack's eyes with a smile. "I brought you here to make love."

"... Ain't that what I just said?"

"There's a difference, Jack." Miranda purred as she laid Jack down on the sand, laying next to the woman. "A difference that I'm going to show you right. Now..."

Oriana was in her skycar as she hovered over a bridge, heading towards where Jane Shepard lived as she looked out her side window. She suddenly screeched to a halt as she saw two figures illuminated in the moonlight on the bank of the lake, recognizing them as she went slack jawed.