A Creature of the Wyld

"Ughh... Fuck! Why do I feel like I got hit by a truck?" Said Simon, Sly, Baxter to no one in particular. Imagine his surprise then when a childish, tittering, voice answered back.

"That would be because you met our agent, Truck-kun. Then you went splat! It was truly hilarious." Came the voice from somewhere just beyond what Sly could perceive.

~Wait, it's way too dark to be night. Why can't I see anything? Or feel anything but the pain? Truck-kun... voice... darkness...~

"Shit, I'm dead. I hope my dog is ok."

"For now." Came the reply, in a slightly deeper tone. "Do not avert your gaze, mortal. We have seen your desires, your dark fantasies, and we have judged them worthy.

You need but say a word, mortal, and you will be made our champion to bring the treacherous Light to heel. You will become a monstrosity without equal, to despoil their cities, rape their women, and defile their saints.

All this and more shall be given." The first voice spoke as the pair of rather lovey demons resolved into view.

"Oh, fuck this... " Sly retorted instinctively.

"Ayo, Got 'im!" the first voice chirps.