A Creature of the Wyld

"Ughh... Fuck! Why do I feel like I got hit by a truck?" Said Simon, Sly, Baxter to no one in particular. Imagine his surprise then when a childish, tittering, voice answered back.

"That would be because you met our agent, Truck-kun. Then you went splat! It was truly hilarious." Came the voice from somewhere just beyond what Sly could perceive.

~Wait, it's way too dark to be night. Why can't I see anything? Or feel anything but the pain? Truck-kun... voice... darkness...~

"Shit, I'm dead. I hope my dog is ok."

"For now." Came the reply, in a slightly deeper tone. "Do not avert your gaze, mortal. We have seen your desires, your dark fantasies, and we have judged them worthy.

You need but say a word, mortal, and you will be made our champion to bring the treacherous Light to heel. You will become a monstrosity without equal, to despoil their cities, **** their women, and defile their saints.

All this and more shall be given." The first voice spoke as the pair of rather lovey demons resolved into view.

"Oh, fuck this... " Sly retorted instinctively.

"Ayo, Got 'im!" the first voice chirps.