'Um...' 'Shhhh, you'll see...'

"Um..." You start, about to query those two exact questions, when, without even looking, he puts a finger to your lips and says...

"Shhhh, you'll see..." Then continues to lead you deeper into an apparently unused part of the facility. The place gets very dark, so dark that your 'Cat Eyes' come on and you are seeing in gray-scale, but eventually there is one room with the lights on, and he unlocks it with a key from his back pocket.

"About what I am going to show you I must swear you to COMPLETE SECRECY, if any word got out that these poor strays are here they could be killed, or worse." He says, hand on the doorknob. One look in his eyes shows he is as serious as a heart attack, he literally considers the very knowledge that the occupants of this room exist a matter of life and ****.

"I swear, not one word of what I see beyond that door will pass my lips." You promise, and he opens the door.

What you find inside shocks you: there is staircase down into an area the size of an Olympic swimming pool, and in it are dozens of cages, containing not ordinary or even exotic creatures but, THINGS. There is a black unicorn in a stall on the far corner, a couple of winged monkeys wearing vests and bowler hats playing checkers, an above ground pool holding some kind of green tentacled abomination with way too many eyes and teeth, a cockroach the size of a doberman among many many others. That however is not what really shocks you, what shocks you is that when your guide calls "Hi everybody, brought a friend to see you." MOST of them call back "Hi Jesus!"

The boy LOOKS like he's from central Africa somewhere, not like the pictures of Jesus you are used to seeing, and certainly not like he's Jewish or Hispanic, and just to top it off he's got glasses, but as you look at him in the lights from overhead you would SWEAR he has a halo...

"So, come on, I want you to meet Martha." he says and leads you down into the pit.

You pass among the cages and see many more things of wonder and strangeness, including one cage that you would have sworn was empty until whatever was in it smiled, showing it's teeth.

Eventually you come to a cage where there is an unassuming short-haired yellow and white dog, and 'Jesus' takes a giant can of Campbell's Alphabet Soup down from on top of the cage and opens it with a P-38 hanging on a string. "Martha, time to get vocal now, I think I've found you an owner, and a job." He pours the soup into the dogs bowl, who eat's it, resignedly? Then she looks up at you says. "Hi, I'm Martha, what's your name?" With, an almost wistful note to her voice.