"Meg's a beautiful genius!"

“Ha ha ha! You got pranked!”

“I hate you,” grumbles Kitty, standing on Molly’s Folly, the old stone path that winds around the entire Upknott College campus. Behind her, in the Orgasm Dome, Parvati and Fiona are on their knees diddling their pussies with their fingers while two strong women stand behind them, pinching their nipples fiercely whenever they show signs of slowing down. Three or four other girls have given into the inevitable and are masturbating naked, facing the glass with their legs spread for everyone to see. They’d tried to turn away, but jets of cold water had **** them back into the open. The counter above the dome read 76. “I really, really hate you. You’re such a bitch.”

“I know! You totally got owned. It’s hilarious. Look, everyone can see! Hey, everyone, I totally pranked Kitty and now she’s stuck out here doing everything I say!”

“I’m so going to get you back for this!”

“No, you’re not.” Meg sticks out her tongue at Kitty, who’s still wearing nothing but her Converse sneakers. Her shoelaces are tied together, and her hands are on her head. The frisbee players from earlier stand around, grinning, holding Polaroid cameras. “You know why?”

“Because you’re dumb and I hate you?”

“Because I have superpowers now. I can do anything I want! And you know what that means, Kitty?”

“It means you’re super dumb and I super hate you?”

“It means pranks. Lots and lots of pranks. Pranks, pranks, pranks. Kitty, you don’t understand how pranked you’re going to get. First thing in the morning? Pranks. Last thing at night? Pranks. In class? Pranks. Lunchtime? Pranks. On a hot date? Guess what? Pranks! Oh, my god, Kitty, it’s going to be the best thing ever.”

“Well… I… you… I’ll just… but… Meg!”

“Yes, Kitty?”

“It isn’t funny!”

“Sure it is,” says Meg, smiling sweetly. “Kitty, can I ask you a question?”

“No!”

“If you had super demon powers, would you play pranks on me? You have to tell the truth.”

“Well,” admits Kitty, squirming in place as the frisbee boys pour a large drum of molasses and a sack full of feathers over her naked body. “Yeah. I’d… bluh!” She spits out some excess molasses and said “I’d totally play the exact same pranks on you. I’d probably be even meaner. You’re my best friend, so of course I’d think it’s the funniest thing in the world to embarrass you in front of everyone.”

“So you admit you deserve it?”

“I… ahh! So sticky! That’s not what I meant.”

“Say the thing I told you to say.”

“I don’t want to!”

“That’s why it’s funny. Say it.”

“Ahh! Meg rules! Eek! It tickles! Meg’s a beautiful genius! Meg rules and I suck! I suck so much! I suck big dicks and I like to kiss girls’ butts! Meg’s smarter and funnier and prettier than me! She totally rules and I totally suck!”

“That’s right, loser. Now start walking.”