"Welcome to Dungeons and Dragons. A game of adventure, ingenuity, and most importantly, imagination. This will be a game unlike any other you have ever played before. You will play the role of a character that you create, you will in a very real way inhabit this character. You will live their life, you will suffer through their struggles, and you will celebrate their victories. You are heroes and adventurers. Your travels will take to the far off corners of my magical realm. Together you will have the power to change the world for the better or simply become a footnote in history. So I say again, welcome my friends to the game that will change your life forever."
Dan leaned back in his chair doing his best to hide his smile. This guy was really laying it on thick. Dan had found this Dungeon Master on an online message board through their college student's association website. The post said he was experienced and offered a truly immersive and mature style of game play. It promised a campaign unlike any other, "The Ultimate Campaign" it said brazenly. There was also a warning of adult content. Dan just assumed he liked to run a dark and gritty campaign, no issues there. This was just what Dan was looking for. His gaming had gotten a bit stale of late as his old group only wanted to slay endless hordes of monsters and get loot, they never really got into the roleplay side of things at all. Dan yearned for a deep and immersive game that he could really sink his teeth into. Also, Dan had almost always been the DM and he was very excited to finally get to play again. Dan was a medium height overly lean nerdy type. He had played tabletop rpg's for as long as he could remember, having been introduced to them by his dad.
Dan looked around at the group he had assembled. With the exception of the DM they all went to the same college as him and they all had never played before.
There was his buddy Conor. Conor had been Dan's dorm room roommate for the past two years. They had entered college in the same year and had struck up an instant friendship. Conor was currently failing badly in almost every class. His drinking and partying and general goofing around taking its toll on his grades. Even now he really should have been studying for a midterm the next morning. Conor was obese and had questionable grooming habits, he had a head of bushy unkempt hair and a huge beard. Conor was a gamer but more of the video game variety, this was his first tabletop experience. Conor was surrounded by snacks and had a six pack of beer beside him. He wore a dopey grin as the DM made his opening speech, he was just happy to be here and was looking forward to kicking some goblin ass.
Next was Sara, Dan's girlfriend. She was a year ahead of him in school and he was her first boyfriend ever. She was short, pudgy, wore glasses and was just as nerdy as Dan though in different ways. She was rather plain looking, to put it generously. She and Dan had gotten to home base exactly twice. Both times were uncomfortable awkward experiences. Sara was extremely sexually repressed, even more so than Dan. Sara was a board gamer and she was really looking forward to finally experiencing D&D for the first time. She was a big fan of an online D&D broadcast that featured a bunch of nerdy ass voice actors and she had some high expectations of the campaign to come. She was transfixed by the DM's words and just couldn't wait to get started.
Finally there was Kirstie, Dan's younger sister. Kirstie was in her first year of college and was still in the process of making friends. She was a star athlete and was living off the variety of athletic scholarships she had received. She was anything but a gamer and had only agreed to come out because she didn't have anything better to do that night. She was planning on blowing off the campaign the moment something better presented itself. She was also drop dead gorgeous. Conor kept ogling her while Sara kept glancing at her jealously. Kirstie was rolling her eyes every few seconds as the DM spoke of the 'amazing' adventure to come. She was already starting to think she had made a mistake by coming here.
The new DM had introduced himself as Damien. He was at least fifteen years older than the rest of the college aged group. He had long black hair in a ponytail and a well trimmed goatee. He had actually arrived in costume, a long velvety black robe with strange silver symbols stitched in along the edges. Dan groaned when he met Damien, this was the sort of weirdo that gave D&D a bad name. Dan really wanted to play though so he thought he'd give the old guy a chance.
Damien stared over his DM screen. "If you are ready lets start rolling up some characters."
Dan, being the only experienced player among them, says. "I'll go last, I don't mind playing anything."
Damien smiles and nods. "Very well." His dark eyes scan across the group.
After much rolling of dice, thinking, and discussion the characters are eventually created.
After listening to all of the chatter of character creation Damien finally looks up from the notes he had been making. A small, almost sad, smile on his lips as he looks across the different players. These young men and women on the cusp of the greatest adventure of their lives.
"A noble band of heroes indeed. But in the interest of really making you truly fit in and to help you survive in my world a gift shall be bestowed upon each of you. A gift from the gods, you cannot realize yet just how lucky you are to receive these." Damien says reverently as he looks upward momentarily.
Dan notes how when Damien says 'my world' it sounds like he is referring to a real place where he comes from as opposed to a fictional world that he created. Dan also had noted how during character creation Damien always referred to the characters and players as one and the same, as if they were their characters. Damien was WAY to into this game!
Damien turns to Conor. "To our chaotic good female Half-Orc Barbarian with big tits the gods bestow the gift of Nymphomania. Sexual acts may act as short rests for you depending on if they are intense enough. Cum acts as a potion of healing for you."
Conor bursts out laughing as the other players look at each other in disbelief. Dan was getting ready to call this thing to an end at this point. The group then began to notice the dice vibrating on the table. A strange crackling energy filled the air. What was happening?
The weird DM continues. "To our neutral female Teifling Bard the gods bestow the gift of the Devils Tongue. Your pretty mouth is talented in more ways than one. It is gifted both in voice and in sexual ability. Your tongue is long, strong, and prehensile."
Sara blushes deeply as Dan sputters his objection. The dice upon the table shake and clatter and slowly begin to glow. How was Damien doing this?
Damien continues undeterred. "To our lawful neutral female Dragonborn Paladin of Bondage the gods bestow the gift of a Cock Tail. The Dragonborn from my world look different than what is in your funny game book. They are more human looking and have a long flexible tail. Your particular tail will have hidden beneath its armored tip a mighty functioning penis, you may unsheathe it during times of sexual arousal."
Kirstie gasps in surprise and Dan goes to stand up and bring this craziness to an end. This was simply too outrageous! To his horror Dan finds he cannot move. He is rooted to his chair, his muscles refusing to respond to his direction. Damien's expressionless dark eyes fall on Dan as he continues.
"And finally for our neutral good male Human Sorcerer the gods bestow the gift of the Erotic Magic bloodline. You shall have access to this special and highly sought after school of arcane magic. Use it wisely young one."
The laughter and blushing and talking has stopped among the group as everyone at the table began to realize that they could not move or talk. The scintillating energy in the room made the hairs stand up across everyone's arms and neck. A wind begins to swirl and tussle their hair. The dice start to roll together, massing in the center of the table as they vibrate and glow.
The Dungeon Master looks around. "I pray that you are the group foretold of in the prophecy. We shall see." He rubs his hands together. "Now, let us begin!"
The chairs and table also begin to vibrate and hum. All of the dice swirl in a circle then begin lifting up off of the table top! Sara notices that while they are all glowing the fancy shiny veined marble set brought by Damien glow with a special brilliance. The d4 was red, the d6 orange, the d8 yellow, one of the d10's was green, the other blue, the d12 was indigo, and the most brilliant of all the violet twenty sided one. The floating dice form a circle and begin to orbit, slowly their circumference widens to surround the whole table. They circle around everyone in the room but the DM. Damien has his eyes closed and his arms wide, he is chanting nonsensical echoing words. The polyhedrals begin to spin faster and faster, glowing brighter and brighter. The young men and women look at each other with wide confused and terrified eyes, the rest of the their bodies frozen.
Finally Damien opens his eyes, they were glowing with a radiant white energy. He claps his hands and there is a blinding white flash!
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