The Referral Program

I’ve been a bit on the fringes in high school, a well-liked nerd. I’ve ended up as part of a great circle of friends, and honestly friends with most of them, but always more of a quiet presence than one of the people driving the action. I hung out with some of the hottest girls in school, and they liked me very well—as a friend. I was the safe guy, the good guy, the one they could always talk to . . . including about the guys they were dating, or wanted to be dating. Since some of those guys were friends of mine, too, it felt awkward at times, but I know how to keep a secret. I couldn’t feel jealous of people I liked, and I wouldn’t have given up their friendship for anything; but sometimes it was hard.

A couple months after graduation, we all get together one last time. Some in the group have one more year, but most of us are going our separate ways to college. We talk about everything—including, inevitably, sex. After all, it’s one subject that interests everyone. As that thread of the conversation seems to be fading, I ask, “From a woman’s perspective, what makes a man good in bed? What will make you want to have sex with him, and brag to your friends?”

I don’t really expect an answer, but I get one. All the girls in the group take it seriously and have something to say. They talk about wanting a guy who could last long enough to give them at least one real orgasm. A number of them express a desire for a man who wants to give them pleasure, not just to pleasure himself. Another common wish is for a partner who will go slow, take his time, and not try to get sex over with as fast as possible. And of course, size is a topic—not too small to fill them and please them, but not so big that sex hurts.

In a lull in the conversation, Alyssa says, “A man who’ll go down on me because he enjoys it, and do it well.” All of a sudden, all the girls are talking again—and every one of them agrees emphatically. The smiles on their faces at the thought are almost orgasmic. Without any disagreement, they say that a man who eats pussy well is the best, and is welcome to do so any time he wants. They would rearrange their schedules to give him an opportunity, if that’s what it took.

That isn’t hugely surprising, except for the degree of passion with which they express it, but it’s good to know. What does surprise me is the equally unanimous reaction from the other guys in the group: they want no part of it. All these guys want blowjobs, but ask them to go down on a girl? Not for anything. Not only are they completely unwilling, they seem disgusted by the whole idea. They mock and sneer at any man who would do it.

I’m stunned. Eight beautiful, sexy girls are sitting there telling us that eating pussy will get any of us all the pussy we could possibly want—from them—and these guys are turning it down. Half the guys in the school (at least) would do just about anything to get into their pants—except, apparently, give them what they want. These guys have rocks in their heads.

But they might be handing me an opportunity. I thank the girls for their answers, then sit back and let the conversation take its course while I follow my own thoughts. I’ve been stuck in the friend zone, it seemed, all through high school; this might be a way to break out of it. It might even be an opportunity to make some money.