The Dungeon Inheritance

You read the letter again as the limousine from the regional airport pulls up into the driveway...

Dear Robin Nordhal,

Hello, you do not know me, but I know you.

My name is Randal F. Styles of Jackson, Waverly, Styles, and Kant: LLC. Our firm has had the surreal and sometimes difficult job of representing your estranged great-uncle on your father's side Horatio Nordhal for the past 50 years. I am sorry to say that Mr. Nordhal is no longer with us, and his estate is to be divided among several of his surviving relatives. You are required to attend the reading of the will in a months time if you wish to receive your share of the inheritance.

I am under specific and repeated instructions to inform you that if you have seen the video at the following address it will be NOTHING like that...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFldBVWFgWo

I am NOT under specific and repeated instructions to say I have no idea why a Pheonix Wrong video is relevant to your late Great-Uncle's will...

The Reading will be conducted on the Eleventh of next month at our firm's offices in Tandy, Oklahoma: You can call 1 (405) 555-0529 to arrange travel and lodging at the expense of the estate. You are to be advised that the lodgings provided will be a motel in Tandy and the budget set aside for each named person to travel to the reading is one thousand dollars.

Thank you for your prompt attention to this matter, and I hope to see you at the reading.

Your Freind,
Randal F. Styles, Esquire.

You had attended the reading of the will, and it had been very strange. Most everyone had been given uniquely appropriate, if sometimes insulting, dispensations from the estate. It seemed that your Great-Uncle had been a very wealthy man, gifts of antique cars, scholarship funds, tracts of land, stocks, and bonds, and other things that were in no wise cheap had been awarded. Lastly, they came to you, and you were unsure what might be left when the lawyer read something that made you blink in confusion.

"Next to last, to my great Nephew, Robin Nordhal, if they are here, I leave my main residence, the mansion in Chipikosa Nebraska; it's Staff, Grounds, Furnishings, and Contents not named elsewhere in the will; a trust fund of 20 million dollars to pay the existing staff's wages for the next 7 years; a separate trust fund of 5 million dollars to pay for materials and tools such as shall be necessary for the mansion's upkeep over that period, and a million dollars in dividend-paying stocks to give them spending money." Mr. Styles read.

"There are however a few strings attached to this gift:" the Lawyer continued. "1: Robin Nordhal must reside at the mansion for the vast majority of those seven years. 1a: They may sleep elsewhere no more than 7 nights consecutively at any point during that time period. 1b: They must also sleep overnight elsewhere no more than 60 days total each year. 1c: both of those stipulations have a secondary stipulation: in the event that my Grand Nephew is somehow to be away from the mansion by circumstances beyond their control, they will not forfeit the inheritance as per clause #6. 1c.1: This explicitly includes the following: Hospital Stays, Imprisonment, , abduction, canceled or missed flights, being drafted, the mansion being somehow rendered unsafe for human habitation, and the results of anything that could be described as an 'Act of God' on an insurance policy. "

"2: Robin Nordhal must retain the services of all current staff members for those 7 years except under the following conditions: 2a: the staff member is convicted on a Felony charge. 2b: The staff member finds a new place of employment without Robin Nordhal's requesting they do so or giving them any form of recommendation."

"3: At Least once per-calendar-year Robin Nordhal must hold a major party at the mansion and invite at least six guests from a list of twenty-one persons that shall be given to them privately by my Chief-Of-Staff upon their arrival. 3a: Each of the persons on that list must be invited to at least one of the seven stipulated parties."

"4: Robin Nordhal must not make public knowledge any of the activities and goings on at the mansion, past, present, or future: for the duration of that time period: With Two Exceptions. 4a: the First Exception is the times, dates, and general themes of any parties held, which must be such that they are considered generally acceptable by the public. 4b: the Second Exception is if revealing any part of the mansion's activities and history is required by law."

"5: If the reading of this will has happened during December these stipulations will not take effect until January First of the following year."

"6: If any of these terms are violated during that seven-year tenure all goods, property, and assets awarded to my Grand-Nephew Robin Nordhal will be confiscated and sold in a private, closed, silent auction to the highest bidders."

"7: The final stipulation of this part of the will is known as the 'Wimp Clause': whether or not my Grand Nephew chooses to take the mansion and risk losing everything they will receive the following as wholely un-encumbered gifts from my estate. 7a: A purebred 'True Bulldog' bitch puppy from the mansion's kennels. 7b: a thousand dollars worth of 'junk bond' stocks. 7c: a copper pot from the kitchen, and, 7d: a set of glow-in-the-dark numbered platonic solids."

"And Truely last: Anything that has not been otherwise listed in this Will or was listed for an individual who didn't bother to show up, assuming it cannot be proven within the next seven years that they either were not informed or were somehow prevented by circumstances totally beyond their control from attending, is to be given into the hands of a scholarship fund as outlined in the Section Q (which need not be read aloud) for the encouragement of persons of any age from Chipikosa and/or the direct descendants of my parents, to attend accredited institutions of higher learning anywhere in the United States of America or its territorial possessions. This fund is to be administered in perpetuity as outlined in Section Q by a seven-person board of directors chosen by Jackson, Waverly, Styles, and Kant: LLC or its appropriately designated Successor from among the descendants of my parents, those who have graduated from institutions of higher learning with help from the fund, or failing that the residents of Chipikosa or a duly designated successor municipality."

The reading had broken up thereafter, and you had been given the chance to make travel arrangements, now the limo is pulling into the driveway of the estate, and you get a good look at the place for the first time. It is truly palatial, easily longer than a football stadium and five stories tall counting the attic and basement. It rests at the top of a large hill surrounded on all sides by forest and with an extensive grounds around back suitable for outdoor parties and what looks like a 1/3 golf course. The mansion itself has a slate roof and is built in the style popular at the height of the industrial revolution, all ornate brickwork, and marble with many windows.

You get out of the limo and grab your army surplus rucksack with all your possessions that are not coming by truck a few days from now, and head up the grand marble staircase that will bring you to the 'first floor'. You open the door with the keys the lawyers gave you...

A bell rings as you open the door and moments later you are greeted by an Asian maid, who seems to be wearing a pet's collar, with the name, "Yuri", on the tag.

"Hello, and welcome Master Nordhal, we have been expecting you." 'Yuri' declares. "Do you wish to see the facilities now, or do you want my services?" 'Yuri' asks.