Speedy DIck

He was the fit in a sort of ugly way. But I’m no masterpiece to look at either. Plus what should a forty year old expect on a speed dating night? The fact I knew every single person in here had a sad story to tell, sort of put me on a par with everyone else. According to his name tag, he was called Dick. It suited his personality. Still I’m as shallow as a puddle in the desert. So I was willing to ignore the fact the guy was a moron in the hope I could get some half decent arm candy.

I know being shallow is the reason why I’m a forty year old spinster. But it’s not like I’ve not been in a serious relationship before. I was engaged for twelve years... twelve long years. After more than a decade of promises, he fucked off with an Albanian whore who he met on the net. Karma has a way of raining shit in equal measure though; she rinsed him clean of everything he had. Last I heard of him, he was living back at his parents.

Anyway, back to Dick.

I wanted a guarantee that Dick was mine at the end of the night. So I crossed my legs under the table, but made sure I brushed his leg with my stiletto heel, running it up to his shin. The sweat had already began to gather on his forehead. Folding my arms, I leaned across the table. “You fancy me don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“So you’d like to get lucky with me?”

“Very much so.”

“You know what you have to do if you want me.” I watched as Dick ticked the box next to my number.

“There you go...”

“What’s the point of waiting around?” I grabbed Dick’s arm. “Let’s go.”

Electronic music spilled out from the clubs as we walked through the shadowy town centre. We stepped across puddles of sick and greasy pizza boxes. Dick attempted small talk but I wasn’t interested in anything he had to say. “Dick.”

“What?”

“If you want to get in my knickers, then shut up.”

Dick didn’t listen. He just went on and on about how he fancied me and how easy it was to see us having a future. “I do think you’ll make a great wife.”

Fuck me, this guy just wouldn’t get the hint. Worse was to come too; there was a massive queue for the taxi rank. Unable to listen to any more drivel, I grabbed his hand and lead him to my failsafe. “Ever done it outside?”

“No.”

“Well let’s hope the cold doesn’t affect you.”

I have used the dark alleyway on numerous occasions and it has never let me down. The tarmac is smooth and doesn’t scar your knees during doggy. There's also enough light to see what you’re doing, but not too much to see how ugly they are, or more importantly, how ugly I am.

Being a dominant woman, I wanted my pleasure first. So I took out my cigarette and had a smoke. I watched him trying to pose, leaning against the wall, but ruining the image by jumping at the sound of a rat scurrying amongst the rubbish.

Stumping out my fag under my heel, I pulled down my knickers and tucked them into my bag. I leant against the damp brick wall and opened my legs. “Lick me.”

“You sure?”

“It’s alright love, I’ve not had a piss.”

Dick got to his knees and started lapping at my pussy. I’ve had much better if I’m honest. So I grabbed his thinning hair and shoved him closer. “Deeper Dick, you’re not even getting past my outer lips.”

“I’m not used to this.”

I flicked the top of his head. “You’re not getting up until I get some satisfaction.”

Finally he started putting some effort into it. Dick’s tongue finally found my clit and he started batting it about. I rested my head against the cold bricks and closed my eyes. My thoughts fluttered in and out of ecstasy, but they soon dispersed while I tried to remember if I had my pill. Still, there’s always the time to double up the following morning. Feeling Dick slow down, I glanced down. “Finished down there, Love?”

“Yeah, if you don’t mind, my tongue need a rest.”

“So get your dick out then.... Dick.” I couldn’t believe it made him laugh. “Surely you must have heard that before?”

“Sorry.”

I watched as he pulled down his zipper. His cock literally fell out of his trousers. It was fucking huge. “Dick isn’t your real name is it?”

In the shadows, a sinister smile crossed Dick’s face. “No, it’s what my women call me.”

“Got to have some of that foot long.” I licked my lips with anticipation and hitched up my skirt. Turning my back to Dick, I leaned over and placed my hands on the wall, spreading my legs. “Come on Dick, let’s have it.”

Now, I haven’t felt such pain since a BDSM party went wrong, and I ended up impaled on a bed knob. He was actually bigger than any of the dildos I’ve got back home... and I’ve got one the size of the rounder’s bat that I had at school. I gritted my teeth and scratched my nails across the rough brick. The pain felt good and I pushed into him, encouraging him to pound me harder. His hands squeezed my hips as we slammed together in depraved bliss.

“Do you swallow?”

“You had any spicy food?”

“No.”

“Then yeah.”

I felt Dick pull out of me and I dropped to my knees in front of him. Curling my tongue around his throbbing cock, my head jerked backwards as he probed my mouth with his glistening cock. His salty white cum flooded my mouth. I swirled it around my mouth like a connoisseur, before closing my eyes swallowing it. “You’re vegetarian.”

“How did you know?”

“Experience.”