Record of Lodoss Whore

The young man looked at the smoldering ashes of his village from the safety of his perch on a nearby hill. A fairly plain looking individual, he wore a simple brown tunic and breeches, with down turned leather boots. He had a worn quality, his muscles toned, but not to the point of being massive. No. He was the standard village boy that lived in every town from Alan to Marmo. The only difference was aspirations...and what hung between his thighs. But we'll get to that.

As a youth, Pharen had always wanted to be some sort of hero. After all, heroes made the news, made lots of gold.... and as he grey older, realized they got the girl. The thing was, Pharen didn't quite have the talent. He was a bit uncoordinated, lacked the raw strength, and even got nervous around women. Which was unfortunate, since his libido was quite massive. But there was one thing he always prided himself on. Other than his dick, anyway. He was always clever. To clever, his father said. Just be a farmer, find a nice girl, and make due. The thing was, Pharen the Farmer would rest in the history of nowhere. Pharen the Hero? Well, that was another story. But intelligence and a giant dick didn't get you far. Most monsters weren't impressed by your ability to dazzle them with riddles, or a giant pecker. Not the monsters that mattered anyway.

So, Pharen was resigned to his fate... until a traveling caravan had come through. Most of it was mundane things, some expensive clothing, and knick knacks to keep your offspring occupied. It had been sheer luck Pharen had come across a tome of magic within all of this. It had cost him his life savings, but he had managed to purchased it, learning from it. And when he attempted to do it, expecting a display of fireworks.... well, that leads us back to the beginning of the story, doesn't it?

No, he hadn't killed anyone. But the angry villagers had chased him out, leaving him to eek out his own living within the wilds. With no survival training. A massive libido. And a dick that would make an orc blush.

With a sigh, he started on his way. Staring at ashes wouldn't solve anything. Beyond that, luck had always seemed to favor him. He only needed to rely on luck, intelligence, and surely he'd be perfectly fine!