Practical Sex-Ed

"We finally have to address the matter of sex!" Great concern was speaking from the eyes of the Commissioner for Youth and Family at the European Union as he looked at his colleagues gathered in the small conference room. "Our latest research has confirmed what we all long suspected... During the last decades the ever-growing porn industry has taken most sexual activity away from the bedrooms and to the desktops. Porn fulfills all dreams of the viewers and serves all kind of fetishes. In turn, real-life sexual activity became less and less attractive for our citizens. This is an eminent threat to reproduction and it is our duty as politicians to find solutions for that problem and maintain a sexually active and healthy society! Therefore, dear colleagues, I urge you to come up with ideas that help to overcome this dilemma!"

It was the first day after the summer break when 38 year old Mariah Miller unlocked the doors to the principals office at her school somewhere in southern England. Mariah sighed when she saw the pile of letters that was stacked on her desk and thought about all the boring administrative work that always laid ahead of her after the holidays. But then she spotted the bright red envelope on top of the pile which had the word URGENT written on it. Curiously, Mariah opened the letter and immediately her jaw dropped:

"Dear principals. Herewith, the Secretary of Education informs all schools that the new subject of practical sex-education is to be introduced immediately. Please inform all teachers and and your staff about the following: According to new EU legislation, all students that have reached the age of 18 are obliged to attend the new subject of practical sex-education. As the principals, it is your duty to select the qualified personnel to teach the course. The subject serves to practically introduce the students to sexual relations among each other. Mandatory practices that have to be introduced are vaginal, oral and anal sex. Furthermore, at least two fetishes have to be taught per semester. The school conference can decide upon the fetishes that shall be taught. However, it is recommended to take the wishes of the parents into account. All parents/legal guardians have been informed in a separate letter. The Ministry of Education wishes good luck and a succesfull new school year."

Mariah didn't trust her eyes and sank into the office chair. Of course she was well aware of the fact that these days most people only satisfy themselves by watching porn and that real sex became the exception. Also she followed the debate on the topic led by the politicians. But she never immagined that such determined action would be introduced so quickly. And even less she could immagine that it would be her who is responsible for the introduction of the new subject. She took a glimpse at her watch and realized that soon her colleagues would arrive. Mariah got up and slowly walked towards the teachers' lounge. She had to select the teacher for the new course...