Celebrity Juices

“Now we have finished recognising each other’s holes” you say “it’s time to move onto the final quick-fire round.”

You, John Doe, cannot believe your luck. To celebrate some TV landmark, which you could not care less about, ITV2 ran a video competition to become the “Celebrity Juice” presenter for one night. The film you made got you into the final 10 and then a panel of Leigh Francis, Holly Willoughby and Fearne Cotton judged a 5 minute practice run to see who would be the most entertaining host. Your experience of hospital radio made sure you had the confidence to keep talking while others dried up, even though it was hard to keep concentrating with all those TV personalities facing you, especially the almost perfect Holly, who you had worshipped from afar since she started out with Ant and Dec.

In the audience is your girlfriend, Abi, who is very proud of you and stoked to be in such proximity to people she reads about each day in the magazines. She is happy but surprised to be flanked by the husband and boyfriend of the team captains, although she would have preferred it if hunky Vernon Kay had been there instead of opposing his wife Tess Daly, the statuesque presenter of “Strictly Come Dancing”. If only they knew what Abi is thinking about.

Making up the panelists are Kelly Brook and her ridiculous (in a good way) breasts, and “Coronation Street” hottie Michelle Keegan with almost as spectacular mammeries, which she had to hide for years when playing a much younger schoolgirl. It was difficult to believe the depth of her E cup cleavage and you can only imagine the audience if she went against Kelly in topless boxing, well at least that’s what Leigh claimed he was trying to make happen. Meanwhile Abi is wondering whether Fearne is feeling inadequate compared with the other women as she knows she would, but the truth is that many famous rock stars have tried to hit on the confident super fit DJ.

Leigh Francis, a.k.a. Keith Lemon, was apparently in talks about another film, “A Lemon Entry, My Dear Watson.” which was to be a Sherlock Holmes spoof. He had told you he intended to get a Hollywood star to play his sidekick. The comedian wished you the best of luck before jetting off to L.A..

You get through the final questions like a professional garnering almost as many laughs as Leigh would have done, especially when you don a Keith Lemon wig. You declare Fearne’s team the winner and, in honour of Vernon Kaye’s American Football career, you get into a huddle to finish the show. Holly grasps you tightly and unseen hands seem to be getting very intimate. You swear Fearne’s hand brushes against your cock which embarrassingly immediately responds.

The audience is ushered away at the end of filming and a rather pushy assistant producer sends you to the dressing room you are sharing with Vernon, before you have a chance to see Abi. There are apparently 4 dressing rooms, one for Leigh, one for the team captains with the other 2 allocated on gender lines. The make-up people clean you up and you change into your civilian clothes.

Just then there is a knock at the door. You expect it is either Tess or Abi but you are even more pleased to see Holly.
“John, can I have a word?” the blonde bombshell glances towards Bolton’s finest “in private.”
“OK, I’ll go see Tess.” laughs Vernon knowingly and exits leaving you alone with Holly. Now you are really hoping your girlfriend does not walk in.
“Holly.” is all you can manage to utter.
“It is traditional on Celebrity Juice for us to have an after show party at Leigh’s and I was wondering if you’d like to come?”

All that goes through your head is Miss Willoughby saying “John, would you like to cum?”
“Yes please!” and then thinking that wasn’t too cool, you add “Luckily I’m free this evening.”
“One thing though. It is a certain type of party and you have to bring your pretty girlfriend.”
“What type of party?” although you don’t really care as you just want to spend time with Holly.
“Do you swear to secrecy?”
“Yes.”
“Swear on your cock.” she said, rather startling you. “Put your hand on your dick and repeat after me. I, John Doe, swear on my cock that I will not reveal anything I am about to hear and whatever happens in the rest of the evening.”

You repeat her words, delighted that she knew your full name. She then tells you they are swingers, like many of the beautiful people in show business. Almost everybody they invite on the show are also swingers. Although Kelly and Michelle have not brought their partners tonight they have agreed to experiment if necessary.
“Experiment?”
“Euphemism for lezzing up.” Holly explains. Surely you are in heaven. All you have to do is explain everything to your girlfriend, who is a little surprised to see the presenter in your dressing room. Holly leaves with “Best of luck” and you think what to do next.

Abi sits on your lap and kisses you. “They wouldn’t let me through until you were changed. You were totes amazeballs, John. Do you think you’ll get a contract? Where’s Vernon?” she gushed staring at an empty chair. Fortunately she seems too excited to wonder any more about Holly.
You grasp her tightly.
“Wouldn’t it be great if we did it in here?” she propositions and yet another hand reaches for your manhood.
“No babe, because we’ve got even bigger plans this evening.”

However, you chicken out when you explain what they are, so all Abi knows is that she’s been invited to a celebrity party.
“I love you so much, John” and this time as well as hand on cock, it is full tongue.
“We better leave before I explode.” you state.