Captain America; the American id.

In the center of a dark warehouse, five men stood around a table lit by an overhead lamp. Four of the men wore black business suits, the head of an up and coming crime boss in New York with his three bodyguards looking over the goods presented on the table. Across from the table was a man wearing a full body hazmat suit, a representative of Advanced Idea Mechanics. His face was unreadable behind the black tinted face visor in the mask.

“Gentlemen, I greet you on behalf of the AIM science and weapons division, I take it you’ve had a keen interest in purchasing some of our…”

“Just shut the fuck up and show us what you’z got to sell alright?” Blurted the man in charge, straightening his tight with his ring encrusted fingers. Despite not being able to see the AIM representative’s face, the yellow clad man looked like he was breathing in before continuing.

“We have brought a collection of weapons that you may be interested in. Please tell us your feedback during the demonstration.”

Picking up a small pistol from the table, the AIM representative cocked back the trigger and stamped his foot on a pad on the floor, at that moment a trio of target dummies popped up not 30 feet away.

“This is one of our more popular items amongst buyers; standard 9mm pistol but the ammunition is made up of these.” Pulling out one of the bullets in the chamber, he let the thing get passed around, amused that one of the guards pocketed the circuitry etched bullet in his pocket, with no intention of returning it. “Memory bullets; you pick a target…” Aiming the pistol at one of the dummies, the man fired, boring a hole in the dummy’s head. “And the entire clip only hits THAT target no matter where you fire.” Waving the pistol wildly and firing out into the open, the group of men watched as each bullet whizzed and banked like tiny homing missiles to hit the exact same spot as the original, turning the dummy’s head into a perforated mess. Looking back at the guard who pocketed the bullet, the AIM representative aimed the pistol up and fired, the man screaming when the bullet shot out of the man’s pocket to join the others in the dummy’s head. “I said the entire clip!”

“YOU MOTHERFUCKIN…” Getting a wave from his chuckling boss to calm the guard down, the man nodded to the other items on the table. “What else you’z got?”

“Let’s go a little more shock and awe, shall we?” Hoisting what looked like a cattle prod with a trigger, the AIM arms dealer aimed it at the second dummy. “THIS is our patented neutrino taser, fire this at a target…” Pulling the trigger, the weapon fired a bolt of electrical energy at the dummy to the right, where nothing happened. “Wait a few seconds and…” The buyer and his guards backed off when the dummy exploded. “And you turn your target into a walking, talking hand grenade with a 5 second count down.”

Going over the entire list of items and weapons on the table, the demonstration continued until the buyer pointed to a vial on the table. “Hey, what’s that thing?”

“Hmm? Well now, THIS is a favorite back at HQ, it’s a… Wait a minute, this is the wrong vial!” Picking up the vial, the AIM arms dealer let the vial turn back and forth between his fingers. “This is something of a failed experiment by my peers, a bioweapon my superiors called they id-beast virus.”

“The what?”

“It’s design was to drop it in the middle of a warzone, a water supply, the backyard of a hated enemy and the infected would become an indulgent rampaging monsters fueled by their id.”

“Their what?”

“Sigh… The id; the Freudian concept of the baser side of men and women that just want to indulge and act without consequence.” Pulling out a digital pad from his pocket, the AIM arms dealer scrolled down to the project to a series of drafts and pictures. “THIS is what they would have turned into had they reached a certain peak in their… Shall we say, indulgent roller coaster, they become this weapon state and the change becomes permanent.”

Looking down at the picture of the creature shown on the pad, the buyer whistled out loud, his bodyguards suddenly looking sheepish. “How much for it?”

“Oh, its not for sale sadly.”

“What? You think I cants afford it?” Barked the mobster, getting agitated at being denied.

“No, its because it doesn’t work! We ran dozens of tests and the subjects never reached their weapon stage, every time we tried to push it further, they just passed out from exhaustion, reverting to normal and having to start all over again. So many incinerated subjects…”

“So… How much for the REST of the table?”

“For all this I can sell for…”

A sudden crash from the sky light the men to look up just as three squads of SHIELD agents landed on the ground from grapple cables, followed by Black Window, Falcon and Captain America to join them at the ready.

“This is a bust, I want everyone on their knees with their hands over their heads!” Barked Steve Rogers, raising his shield ready to throw the thing as a discus. The AIM arms dealer slowly raised his hands and fell to his knees, as did the buyer and his crew, until he got up and grabbed the neutrino taser off the table. “FUCK YOU pigs! Aiming at the star-spangled hero, the man smirked and pulled the trigger, only to realise too late that he was holding the baton upside down when the charge went into HIM.

Realising what he did, the AIM representative kicked up the table and curled himself into a fetal position as the goons scrambled to run towards the SHIELD agents for safety.

“Awww, fuuuu…” The explosion sent everyone to reel back and guard themselves from the red paste of the man’s remains, the only one not painted in human goo was Captain America with his shield up.

Cuffing the remaining men still huddled on the ground, the SHIELD team brought in the transports to have the men arrested while a clean up crew picked up what they could for evidence.

“I don’t think this stuff is going to come out…” Complained Natasha, being handed a towel and grimacing that her favorite cat suit was greasy with mobster remains. “If I were you, I’d I’ve get tomato juice to scrub out the smell.”

Giving Steve a screwed look on her face, Black Widow rolled her eyes and turned to leave, heading to the others to check their reports. As she walked away, Steve found his eyes trailing over her heart shaped rear as it swayed with each step. Shaking his head with a smirk, the boy scout in him cleared his mind and turn to check on the others when he heard something crack on the ground and a sharp pain stabbed at the arch of his foot. “Ow..” Looking down he found a broken vial of fluid under his boot, pulling up his foot he found a shard of glass had pierced the rubber soles and stuck his foot. Pulling the offending shard out of his boot, the man gave it a look over before calling for sanitation to clean up the mess, waving over a SHIELD agent wearing medical pins. “Give it to me straight, how bad is all this?”

One SHIELD agent holding the pad the AIM representative brought with him looked over to the ruined vial on the ground and checked the manifesto of items. “Please tell me this isn’t going to kill me.”

Finding the item on the list, the medical agent blinked at the item listed. “Uhm… No… if I’m reading this right, this stuff is deemed harmless to human life, just plants.”

“So what’s it doing at a weapons sale?”

“Scrolling over the list of desired items for the sale, the agent fell on an item that stood out. “Ah, according to this, that was SUPPOSED to be a bioweapon that turned plant life into man-eating fly traps, it has no effect on human life if it enters your blood stream.”

Letting a sigh of relief escape his lips, Steve lowered his boot to the ground and let the rest of the agents clean up the mess. After this whole event all he wanted to do is get cleaned up for tonight and just forget all about being splattered by a dead mobster… Tony would never hear the end of it!