A Willing

“Not even if I was a dyke, come on this needs to stop. This is getting pathetic.”

Here I was again begging Kelly to give me a chance. Anne, Liz, and Stephanie had all left and we were the last two of the friend group at the bar and as soon as everyone else had left I just couldn’t stop asking her out. It seemed like every time I had her alone I would confess my feelings, or I guess restate them as she’d known for quite some time and had repeatedly stated her non-interest, usually in an insulting manner.

“Just one dinner, just anything. Let me prove myself. I have so much love to give and I just want to give it to you.”

I wish I knew how to turn my feelings off or at least redirect them. Kelly is a cruel uncaring opportunist and she treated men as poorly as she treated me. Still just the way she pushes her hair out of her face, or the way she laughs through her nose is enough to make me swoon.

Her face is also perfect, she’s got long blonde hair, piercing blue eye, a small button nose, and luscious pink lips. Her body is also amazing, tan skin, melon sized D-cups, a skinny waist, and a round but not too big bottom down to long slender legs. She stands at 6’1 so she towers over me at 5’4 and it just makes me want her to wrap her arms around me, conquer me, be my big spoon, I just know I’d feel safe in her arms.

I know I don’t look as good as her but I don’t consider myself ugly by any means. I’m a short pale brunette with lemon sized b cups who was also skinny, my legs were dainty, and I think I have a pretty nice butt similar to Kelly’s but smaller to match my smaller body.

“I don’t care what kind of love you have to offer. I let you follow me around like a little lost puppy and it used to make me feel mildly flattered but at this point it just makes me feel bad for you. I don’t want to see you anymore, not as a friend or especially not as a lover.”

I knew she’d reject me again, she always does but hearing her say I couldn’t be around her anymore made my heart ache sending waves of anxiety through my chest. Tears welled in my eyes as I imagined a world where I couldn’t even be her lackey. I knew this was a mistake but I know that every time and I just can’t stop. I would do anything to make this feeling of rejection stop. I tried to find words that would let me be around her, just the smell of her skin on a hot summer day is better than any sex I’ve ever had.

“I’m sorry, please, I’ll never mention it again. I just need you in my life.”

I knew I was lying, I would never be able to stop loving her and I would never be able to stop telling her I loved her but maybe if she would just accept me being her friend next time could be different.

“Emily, I don’t even like you. You’re a tag along friend that’s barely tolerable in a group let alone just the two of us. I’m not saying this to hurt you, though I don’t mind that it does, you need to move on.”

Fuck. Why did I do this? tears are pouring down my face. I need her, I love her, I can’t have a life without her. If she won’t accept my love maybe she’ll accept my life. I knew I wasn’t thinking this through but I need this ache in my belly to stop.

“Kelly, I’ll be your . I’ll sign the contract. The price is zero. I’ll do anything and everything you ask just don’t make me live my life without you.”

Kelly went from a cruel scowl to a sadistic smile.

“You love me that much? You’d give yourself away without even anything in return?”

Being her possession would be everything I need in return. contracts were legal as long as the person signing it was an adult of sound mind, and I’m definitely an adult if maybe a little crazy but certainly not enough to invalidate a contract. Usually a contract was a way of settling a civil suit outside of court for those who couldn’t afford whatever they were being sued for, short term and strictly regulated by a mutually agreed upon contract. No one I had heard of had ever signed one without trying to avoid some other legal consequence but in my mind I was avoiding something which was worse: a life without Kelly.

“Yes. I just want to be with you even if I’m not actually ‘with you’.”

Kelly sat there thinking for a minute not saying a word as I grabbed napkins to wipe away my tears.

“Get a lawyer, if you don’t already have one, and have them call mine. We’ll have a contract set up. I hesitate to say this because I must tell you I would love to have a but are you really thinking this through?”

I smiled immediately. She was going to take me into her home. This would be so much closer to a relationship than I could ever hope to get in any other way.

“Yes, absolutely. Thank you. Thank you so much.”

Kelly smiled and I did too though I’m sure mine was more innocent than hers. I wish I knew how to quit her but I didn’t and I couldn’t. I needed this more than anything.

She stood to leave dinner and I got up and gave her a big hug sniffing her hair and wrapping my arms around her tight. She gently rubbed my back begrudgingly but with ideas already spinning in her mind she must have already thought it was worth it.

“I need the contract tomorrow or it’s off and I will never talk to you again. I’ll block your number and block you on all social media.”

The pain in my heart kicked back in as I panicked and started to type a e-mail on my phone to my family’s attorney. I watched her perfect hips sway out the door without a real goodbye but I was ready to say hello to being hers.