20 Steps To Pick A Suitor

My name is Sadie Hawkins and I am 25 years old. Go ahead and make jokes about my name if you must. I have heard a million of them. The jokes were especially rampant when I was a kid. In high school, some of the guys expected me to ask them to dances. I used to dread my high school having a Sadie Hawkins dance for obvious reasons. As soon as I graduated college, I moved to New York for a few years, but I eventually moved back to get caught up in a proverbial tempest. That one of the reasons why I like my current friends so much. They have never poked fun of my name or any of the other things about me. They never tease me because I wear silver glasses or my red hair that only goes down to my shoulders. They accept my average build and my below average breasts.

I would like to tell you about my friends who accepted me into their group the second I moved back to San Francisco from New York. There is Horatio who is the bearded hipster bartender of our group. I do not think that I have ever seen him without his beanie hat. There is the entrepreneur Cole who gets drunk way too often. There is Sereena the brunette protester who is crazy about her jean jacket. She is quite scary at times, but she is also as cuddly as a puppy inside. There is the affectionate Brooke who has long brown hair. She almost squashed me with a hug on the first time she saw me. One of the best things about living with her is that her sense of fashion has rubbed off on me.

There are three of my friends that I have not mentioned yet and there is a good reason for that. These three friends all have something in common. They all have a thing for me and want me to go steady. There is the techie Mark who I have been friends with ever since college. There is the nerd Ben who I wrote about in the only article that I wrote for ClickIt. I only wrote that one article because I quit my job by shoving my boss into a chocolate fountain. Last but not least is my ebony skinned business partner Leah who co-founded our company Chick Clicks. I guess that I am bisexual since one of my suitors is a woman.

The problem is that there are things that I like about each one of my suitors. I am going to have to search my heart and figure out which one that I love. The reason why this problem is so hard is that I will be hurting two of my friends no matter who I pick. I am mulling over this problem at the same time that I am watching the movie Home Alone 3 with my friend Sereena and my newlywed friends Brooke and Keo. If I wasn't so distracted by my problem, I would be a little depressed that Brooke is going to be moving into her new home tomorrow night. If I did not have any distractions, I would be laughing like a hyena since I am watching my favorite movie with my friends. As it is, I am just staring into space which has left me wide open for a surprise attack from my rebellious protesting friend that almost makes me jump out of the red recliner that I have been sitting on.

"Hey!" Sereena shot out while touching my left shoulder.

"Gee, Sereena!" I complained while looking right at her. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

"I think that you could have found a better way to do get Sadie's attention," Brooke chastised.

This is nice. Now Brooke and her muscular husband Keo are staring at me from their spot on the couch as if I was part of a museum exhibit. There are times when I do not like being the center of attention.

"I am sorry, but when one of my friends turns into a zombie, I have to find out what its wrong," Sereena apologized.

"Are you okay, Sadie?" Brooke wondered.

"Yeah, I was just thinking about things," I grumbled.

"You don't sound okay," Sereena pressed. "I've got two ears and no waiting."

"I think that I would like to take a walk outside with my roommates," I requested while standing up from my recliner.

"Can I help?" Keo offered.

"You are a good friend, but you don't have enough experience for this problem," I refused.

"It's cool," Keo accepted with a smile. "I feel the same way about some of my friends at the firehouse. You ladies go outside to gab and I will wait here."

"I should be able to move you from the sales department to the main floor in about a month," I joked.

"That's good to know," Keo jibed back at the same time that Sereena giggled.

So I went outside with my friends hoping that the gab session that we were about to have would help me to make sense out of my problem. I feel that I am being pulled in three different directions and I have to decide where I want to go.

"So what is your problem as if we didn't know?" Sereena prodded.

"I had a dream last night," I explained.

"Ooh, about what?" Brooke begged.

"I was walking in the woods on a trail. Since I have always liked camping, I was having the time of my life. After I was walking for a few minutes, dark clouds rolled in and it started to rain. The worst part was that the trail I was on split up into three trails. I was confused so I took my trusty map out of my pocket. The map didn't do me any good because a bolt of lightning came down and destroyed the map before I could read it. The dream ended with me standing there and looking like an soaked idiot."

"Maps are good for many things, but they are useless when it come to love," Brooke advised.

"It looks like that you are in quite a pickle, Sadie," Sereena commented.

"I hope that you two know that I didn't ask for any of this to happen," I pleaded.

"We know that you aren't that kind of girl," Brooke consoled while putting her hands up in a placating gesture.

"Do you know what your problem is?" Sereena asked me while touching my right shoulder.

"No, what," I replied.

"You are a major hottie," Sereena clarified. "You are beautiful. You are nice. You are smart. You go out of your way to help people. People can't help but to fall for someone with those characteristics."

"Now, I have to decide which one that I want to be with," I mused.

"Describe Mark," Brooke ordered.

"He is one of my best friends. I have known him since I started college. He is dependable."

"Friendship is important, but you can't base a relationship on it," Brooke objected.

"You are right," I murmured.

"Good, we are making progress," my friend wearing her favorite jean jacket lightly commented. "Describe Ben."

"He surprises me. You would think that you could tell what he is like by looking at him, but you can't. He makes me laugh."

"Do you think that is enough?" Sereena pressed.

"No," I sighed.

"Now describe Leah," Brooke ordered.

"She is beautiful. She is smart. She is strong. I love how she takes care of her sister! I am excited to be around her! She always encourages me to be the best person that I can be."

I did not realize that it was happening at the time, but I got more and more excited as my description of Leah went on.

"Whoa! Whoa! Are you listening to yourself?" Sereena interjected.

"Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner!" Brooke cheered.

"Yeah, we do," I agreed while grabbing my friends in a group hug. I knew that Sereena was not comfortable with group hugs, but I was too happy too care at the moment. My friends helped me solve one of my biggest problems. My only other problem is that I have to figure out how to break the news to Mark and Ben now.