My new life as an Elf

Walking home, blissfully unaware of the cruel cosmic joke that was about to be played on me, I took that final step and over an unseen and suspiciously open manhole, that on reflection, I'm pretty sure wasn't there before. The laws of gravity did their thing and my world suddenly went dark. A pathetic cry (that may or may not have sounded like the classic Wilhelm scream,) as I fell, being the last sound I make before **** claimed me.

Then there was a bright light that immediately burst into a vast expanse of shimmering white nothingness. Before me stood a goddess, her every feature radiating divinity. Her Angelic face, framed by her impossibly long golden hair, which flowed like a waterfall over a perfect body that looked like it been sculpted by hand. She offers me a serene smile. "Greetings, traveler. I am Ceridwen, here to guide your soul to it's place of rest and rebirth. Fear not; for your ****, though, um, u-unfortunate, marks the beginning of something far greater."

"You mean… I'm dead?" I ask, my voice sounding distant, disconnected. It suddenly dawned on me that I couldn't feel or move my own body, as if it wasn't even there.

"Indeed," she replies, her voice calm and melodic. "But fret not! For your soul is to be reborn in another world" She spreads her arms wide, her movements theatrical and perfectly choreographed. "You shall be my champion!"

My jaw, or what ever I currently have that constitutes a jaw, drops. "Wait, seriously? Like, are you just gonna send me back to earth or is this some high fantasy type of world?"

"Ugh, Yes, t-the second one," Ceridwen says while nodding furiously. Her divine confidence starting to sound more shaky by the minute. "Dragons, dungeons, forbidden treasures… all of it shall be yours to discover."

"This is amazing! Do I get a cool weapon? Or maybe...maybe some insane power that makes me unstoppable? Like in all those light novels I used to read?"

Ceridwen seems to laugh nervously. "S-sure kid, you'll have blessings aplenty. But first, we must begin the transition." She raises a hand, and an otherworldly glow begins to surround what currently currently constitutes as me. "Prepare yourself, brave soul, for your destiny awaits."

But just as the light intensifies, her elegant demeanor falters once more. "Oh fuck," she mutters, glancing at a floating scroll that materializes next to her. "Oh no, nononononono! This… this is the wrong...Fuck! One moment!" She waves her hands frantically, her previous grace now replaced with clumsy panic. "I-I can fix this, just hold on! Mother fucker were is that undo button...no I don't need help you fucking paper clip!"

"Wait, w-what's wrong?" I ask, nervously as the surrounding light of this white space begins to swirl and flicker unpredictably.

"It's nothing major!" she says, though her tone is anything but reassuring. "Just a minor, uh… hiccup. Completely reversible. I think. Maybe. Oh, bollocks, the portal's already open...em...good luck! BYE!"

Before I could protest, the light flashes blindingly bright and the first physical sensation I feel since arriving in this space is once more a sense of falling, as I'm yanked into what I can only assume was the aforementioned portal. The last I see of Ceridwen is her waving at me awkwardly. "Hope you like surprises!" she calls out, just before the light returns to dark.

I awoke yelling in a cold sweat. A forest now filled my blurred vision. My head was thumping as I slowly tried to stand up. I definitely could feel again, though currently wished I couldn't. Must of smacked my head on something, coming through the portal. I felt so disoriented and unbalanced, like something was off about my body. It felt stanger, lighter in some places, heavier in others. Standing up straight was difficult and I just couldn't seem to find my footing.

As my eyes focused and I became more aware of my surroundings, I noticed a river through the trees. Maybe I was just dehydrated, I thought as I wobbled over to take a drink. It was like I had to deliberately sway my hips more just to walk, my hands also felt smaller, making it difficult to hold on to low hanging branches to steady myself.

As I finally made it to the river bank after a few awkward moments trying to get my legs working, I froze at the reflection staring back at me. A woman with delicate features; skin porcelain smooth, full lips, well defined cheekbones and elongated ears. As I look closer into the distorted reflection, a cascade of golden strands fall in front of my face, catching the light like spun gold.

I snap back away from the running water, falling onto what I could only describe as the fleshy pillow that was my butt. The curves beneath my clothes press against the fabric in ways they never had before. "Am I wearing a dress?" My slender fingers rushed to cover my mouth as foreign female voce escaped from my throat.

The realization of what happened at the goddess's hands hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm a...was... a man. A human man....now...I dared not finish the thought. If I didn't think or say it, don't even acknowledge it, then it can't be real...right? I'm physically shaking in disbelief.

"This can't be real...I just can't be!" Yet the unmistakable sight of bare cleavage protruding from my chest was irrefutable. An unfamiliar heaviness that wasn't there before, barely being contained by the green fabric of my dress. My finger tips sunk into the soft flesh and a rush of energy, warmth and excitement flowed through my body. Yip these were definitely mine. I continue to explore my new self as I ran my palms over an impossibly narrow waist, clad in a black corset. My hands rested my sizable hips and accompanying thighs, explaining why it was so hard to walk. The long skirt of the dress didn't help either. And finally, the change I had dreaded most, the empty feeling between my legs.

"Is this some kind of sick joke?" I screamed.