you realize what you've done...

Then you suddenly realise what you have done ...

 You have allowed the pills to take over ...

  You had lost your mind ...

  You had run away from a bunch of girls that wanted you,

 that welcomes you, ...

  that gave you a purpose .... and a use ...

There was only one thing to do now ... turn yourself in ...

but you were going to be clever and selfless about it ...

 you were going to put yourself in a situation that will make the girls think
they found you, outwitted you, captured you, and took you back where you belong.  You were going to give the girls ALL the triumphs and ALL the bragging rights. After all, being that you were a mere man, giving the women these gifts of triumph, plus yourself to play with too, was your divine duty and destiny. It gave you a purpose. And it brought them joy.  ... But how were you going to get yourself caught?..