. . . where RAs fear to tread.

What Alyssa’s sorority might do is hypothetical and future. The pressing concern now is where we can meet for my next training session, but that’s not something we can take care of right now. We agree to text each other later to figure that out. “Before you walk me out, though, you should at least wash your face,” she observes. She’s right—and not just my face, either, as some of her juices ran into my hair. I dart down to the washroom to take care of what I can without climbing into the shower. With a washcloth, I’m able to get even my hair presentable, though I’ll definitely want a shower before bed tonight.

When I’m done, Alyssa gets up to head back to her dorm. As I walk her down the hall to the main staircase, I keep an eye out for my new neighbor. The door to 619 is open, across the hall from me and two doors down. A girl is sitting and reading in a chair facing the open door. I notice long brown hair, round glasses, capris, and bare feet; at first glance, she seems to be quite nicely built, but it’s hard to say for sure. As we pass, she looks up just as I’m looking away; out of the corner of my eye, I think I see her blushing.

Alyssa signs back out at the desk, where Dave is still on duty. She has to wait a few minutes, as he’s dealing with the first real rush of people moving in; the morning and early afternoon had been pretty quiet. “Hey, Dave,” I say, when I can get his attention. “Just so you know, Alyssa is the only person I know here so far, so she’ll probably be around a lot.” He nods politely, eyes fixed on her tight ass headed out the door.

When she was out of sight, he turns to me and says, “You have GOT to keep it down, man. However the hell you’re doing it—and congratulations for getting a piece of that ass—you have got to keep it down. She is loud. I could hear her from two floors away. You’re really lucky I only had one guy moving in then, because that’s really hard to explain to parents. I tried my best, but people know what they’re hearing. I’m not willing to lose residents because your girlfriend is a screamer.”

I ponder this for a moment. “Umm, Alyssa’s not actually my girlfriend—she’s just helping me work something out. I’d love to date her, but right now, that’s not in the cards.” Dave looks at me blankly, as if I were speaking Sanskrit or Tagalog. “Anyway, I already talked to her about the noise. The thing is, though—you’re the RA for my floor and wing, right?” He nods. “Well, I’ve talked with her, and we’ll keep it down, but all the same, my room might be . . . noisier than most . . . some of the time, anyway. I may need a little help from you so I can stay out of trouble. If you can help me out a bit, I think I may be able to help you have a very . . . satisfying semester. If that sounds agreeable to you, anyway.”

I’m no expert at parsing words like a politician, but I think that came out well enough—message communicated, plausible deniability protected. I can see in Dave’s eyes that he was trying to figure out how to return the favor. Finally, he said, “Andrew, I can’t knowingly allow any violations of university rules and policies. I certainly can’t be party to any kind of questionable activity. Do you understand me?” I nod. “Now, if you happen to have a lot of success finding girls who might be interested in dating me, I would be grateful for anyone you sent my way. Are we clear?” Dave looks me straight in the eye, and again, I nod. If I send him enough ass, he’ll let me get away with ****, but it can’t be official. If anything hits official channels, he’ll have to come down on me like a bag of hammers regardless.

“We’re clear, Dave,” I say soberly. “I’ll keep an eye peeled for anyone I think might hit it off well with you.” We shake hands on it.

“Damn, that girl is fine.” He’s back to looking out the door, eyes following in Alyssa’s wake.

“Yes, she is, Dave. Yes, she is.”