today's agenda

After I calmed down, I restarted time.

Cora was besides herself. She sat on the edge of the bed and put her face in her hands. "What's wrong with me?" she mumbled. She sat there shaking her head for a few moments then got up. She walked over and picked up the bowl and put the can of shaving cream and the razor in it and left Lily's room.

I stopped time again. I found Lily in the shower. She was frozen and reaching for a bottle of body wash. I laughed again at how she looked with no eyebrows. I reached in the shower and turned the handle for the hot water off. I found a lipstick and used it to write on the mirror:

"Prank war:

Mom 1

Lily: 0"

I then removed all of the towels and a bathrobe on the back of the door and took them to Cora's room and put them on her bed. I found Cora walking down the stairs. She was mid-way down the stairwell. I picked her up and took her to the top of the stairs and turned her around. I figured I had not messed with her mind enough. I then went back home.

I went to my bedroom and restarted time.

I had gotten back just in time as my dad knocked on my door to let me know he and my mom were leaving for their trip. I went out to see them off, hugged mom, and went over the rules again. They left me $50 in cash.

As I watched them pull out of the driveway and head down the street, I saw two women in their forties power-walking down the sidewalk. They were both medium height. One was average build, and one had a few more pounds. I messed with them.

The women stopped. One of them found she was holding a pair of panties.

"Those are mine!" said the other. She reached a hand down under her yoga pants. "How...what?" She took them from her friend and wadded them up. Both women looked around. They saw me sitting on my porch looking at my phone. They hurried off on their power walk, whispering to one another.

I went next door and rang the bell.

Cora opened the door. She was wearing a bathrobe, cinched tightly all the way up to the neck. "What do you want?" She asked. She looked exhausted.

"You owe me $75, remember," I said.

"Oh, that," She said.

"I can't fucking believe you!" came a scream from upstairs.

"Everything OK?" I asked.

"No, but it's none of your business!" Said Cora. She looked as if she wanted to be angry, but was just confused and tired. "I don't have any cash on me right now. I'll bring you your money in due time."

"Are you going through a mid-life crisis?!" came another scream from upstairs.

"I've got to go," said Cora. She slammed the door in my face.

I laughed as she walked back home. I took the money I had and drove to the nearest grocery store. I bought some deep-heating muscle cream, a couple of enemas, a bottle of hot sauce, a tube of 75 SPF sunscreen, a spray bottle of tan- excelerator, and a bottle of super-glue. I drove back home.

I put on my bathing suit and a t-shirt. It was a good day to go to the beach