ay bby want sum fuk?

"I don't even know, like -- what should I even say?" You make a face as you erase the draft of the text you were about to send. "Like -- would 'hey what's up' work? Or is that cringey?" You screw up your face. "Yeah, that's cringey. Fuck." You're resting your phone against Yukari's leg. She's draping her legs across your hips, lying horizontal to your vertical -- the "x" axis to your "y," if you will.

"Ash," Yukari begins. She's holding some grapes in one hand, and before she continues speaking she tosses a grape up in the air and catches it with her mouth. She's barely finished swallowing before she continues. "Please, please don't make your introductory text, 'hey what's up.'"

"Then what should I say?" you ask, gently tapping her leg with the phone.

"Just be honest!" she replies. Yukari folds one hand over her stomach and idly dances her fingers against her skin. "Just say, like, 'Hi Nishay, this is Ash from the coffee shop. If you still want to hang out I'm available.'" She sniffs. "Or something like that."

"Maybe..."

"Or you could just be straightforward and say, like, 'You've got big tits, I've got a big dick, let's make this work.'"

You shoot Yukari a look. "Seriously!"

"I mean, that's what you're hoping for, so..." She gives you a teasing look, then pops another grape into her mouth.

"Just text her, Ash. It's not rocket science."

"Ugh, fine."

You quickly type out a cursory greeting, reminding Nishay who you are and asking if she wants to hang out this evening.

Delivered.

"There." You set the phone aside and plant a hand on Yukari's leg. "Sent."

"See? Easy." Yukari munches on another grape.

You idly stroke Yukari's leg, admiring her soft skin. "Does it bother you?"

"Hmm? No, it feels good."

"No, I mean -- Nishay. Does it bother you that I wanna hang out with her?"

"Among other things?"

"Among other things."

"Why would it bother me?" Yukari's finished off her grapes. Her now-empty hand folds atop the other.

"I dunno, 'cause -- like, we live together and all."

"And? I'm your assistant, Ash, not your girlfriend."

"True. But still --"

"Ash, I love to fuck you. And I love to fuck in general, I guess, even though it's pretty much relegated to you. But, like... I'm not jealous, or possessive, nor do I presume that we're, like, a couple." She nudges you with her leg. "We're buddies!"

You smile. "True."

"So stop moping. If you keep it up I'll fuck her."

"I mean --"

"You'd like to see that, I know." She makes a sound and then nudges you again. You check your phone.

Delivered.

Then:

Read, followed by the time.

Your phone buzzes. You pick it up.

"Yo! Of course I want to hang out. :) Meet @ the coffee shop around 6:00?"

Yukari nudges you. "What'd she say?" She sounds excited. You tell her, and she lets out a teasing cheer.

You stare at the screen for a second, trying to think of something to say. Finally, it comes to you:

"Sure. See you then. :)"

The smiley face. The fucking smiley face. You regret it immediately. But you can't take it back. You feel like an over-eager tool, but then:

"Awesome. :)"

Well. That was easy.