...and has to decide what to do

Teysa awoke feeling disturbed. The dream faded only slowly. She kept twitching her head, expecting to see Lolth staring back at her from behind a stalactite or from her reflection in the pool.

The room was empty. The divine presence that had filled it had gone. Somewhere, in the distance, Teysa could hear the hubbub of the warren coming back to life. A cookfire crackled, and she caught a faint odor of roasting meat. Her mouth began to water. That was another adjustment: her tastes had become far more carnivorous since her transformation.

She washed and dressed herself, choosing a plain cotton tunic of undyed silk. That done, she tied a leather belt around her waist—an affectation she found a bit strange, as she was not wearing any trousers, but it made her feel a bit better. The weight of the leather was reassuring, and she could hang a pouch from one side of the belt to carry small items.

Aliara’s knife caught her eye. It was lying where she’d left it. She shivered at the sight of it. It seemed to be staring at her, so she covered it with a weave of silk that she sometimes used as a blanket. That was a little better—she could still feel the weight of its presence, but it was no longer eyeballing her.

“I don’t need you,” she whispered. “I don’t want you. Go away.”

Heh heh heh. The dagger’s chuckle buzzed in her ears. That’s ok. I’ll be here when you need me. I’m not going anywhere.

Teysa left in a hurry. She’d eat breakfast with El’keth, she decided. Many of the driders ate their meat raw, but Teysa still preferred her meals hot. It made her feel a bit less like a beast. El’keth was the same way.

Lolth’s words stuck with her as she made her way through the warren. They clung uncomfortably, like trailing spiderwebs. The first dream-visitation Teysa had had with the Goddess had been shocking, a moment of revelation almost as profound as that beneath the City. This one had been far less so. Indeed, Teysa found herself quietly resentful. Lolth had not asked for her devotion. She had assumed it, and had assumed that Teysa would blindly follow Her dictates. Lolth seemed consumed by the idea of Her transformation. She cares so very much what I can do for Her, Teysa thought, and not what She can do for Her people. She had hoped that after the Revelation, Lolth might take the opportunity to revitalize Her relationship with Her children. That did indeed seem to be the Goddess’s intent, but Teysa could not help but feel that She was going about it all wrong.

She is a Goddess. Rule by fiat is all She has ever known. It is practically what She is.

She tried to push down her resentment and succeeded only partially. Part of her felt that she should be honored. The scriptures of Agamor described those few occasions when He had chosen a mortal mouthpiece to spread His word directly—always in times of great upheaval and strife, when His church needed a more direct hand. The prophets were universally beloved, men and women of great character and wisdom whose words were venerated to this day.

No matter how Teysa tried, she could not picture herself in such august company. Had the Prophets doubted this much? Had they seen their role as a burden? Had they resented Agamor, wished that His divine hand could fall on someone else?

She had no answers, and just asking the questions made her deeply uncomfortable. I don’t have time for this, she told herself. Her self-doubt was a luxury to be saved for a moment when the warren wasn’t under threat. I have too much to do.

But that was just it. What should she do? The Matron had made her “master of arms,” as though the title by itself told Teysa everything she would have to do. But Teysa didn’t even know where to start. The scale of the problem in front of her was paralyzing. She had spent years fight against evil, but always on a personal level, solving problems with a swing of her mace. Organization, logistics, leadership… those were above a paladin’s pay grade.

But you’re not a paladin anymore.

She thought about asking El’keth for guidance and dismissed the idea. The girl could barely hold a spear the right way around. Instead, their breakfast was full of light conversation, with El’keth chattering pleasantly about her loom and her exploration of the warren. She’d gone to meet the drow, apparently, and had been quite taken with their fashions. “I told them I would come back with some new robes for them, and do you know what they said?” she asked in between bites. “They said they’d be happy to see me again!”

That, at least, gladdened Teysa’s heart. At least one drider was making the effort to reach out to their guests. She should have known that El’keth would connect with the drow. She’s so friendly. And she’s so obviously harmless…

“So you like the drow, El’keth?” Teysa asked. “You get along with them?”

“I do!” El’keth said. She looked thoughtful for a moment. “Well, there’s that one man who lives off on his own. I don’t know about him. All he wants to talk about is rocks. And he’s so scared of me! Every time he sees me he almost jumps out of his skin!” She giggled, but Teysa was thoughtful. She’d almost forgotten about… Rakko? Rekka? Something like that.

“How would you like to weave with me again today?” El’keth asked. “I think you’re making real progress! I want to show you how to feed the loom!”

“Thank you for the offer, El’keth,” Teysa said. “I shouldn’t, though. Your mother is relying on me.”

“Oh?” El’keth raised an eyebrow. “What will you be doing instead?”