Your pregnant mother.

You tell your mom that you have something to show her in the garage, so she follows you in. Your mom is rather youthful for her age, and has decided to take on another child. She’s 30 weeks pregnant, but nonetheless she is glowing.

“Is that a guillotine!?” She questions, in shock

“Yeah. But don’t worry, it’s not dangerous. Watch” you say, as you decide to place yourself in the stocks just above your stomach.

“What are you doing!?” She asks, as you release the blade and cut your self in half. She lets out a scream before you pop up and calm her. “You’re cut in half! How are you still alive!?”

“I don’t know, but it works” you say calmly. “You give it a try.” You say

“If you really think this won’t hurt” she remarks