Your enthusiastic neighbor, Courtney

When you open your front door, you find your neighbor Courtney on your porch. She’s wearing a heavy raincoat and she looks just as surprised as you do. Her hand is poised over your doorbell, and she grins at you. “Good timing.”

Her shoulder-length hair is pink today, which is a change from last week’s purple, and cherry red the week before. Courtney seems to rearrange her entire life on a regular basis. She’s been a secretary, and a massage therapist, and a swimming coach, and an exotic dancer. Her hobbies have bounced around from roller derby to mountain climbing to community theater. There are only a few constants in her life: she’s in her late twenties, she lives next door to you, and she has a gorgeous tan that she maintains with a combination of tanning beds and sunbathing in her backyard.

She lifts her hand from the doorbell, puts it on your chest, and gently nudges you back into the house. Once you’re both over the threshold, she shuts the door behind her. “It’s your birthday,” she says, almost purring, “and I told you I’d make it up to you.”

“I remember,” you tell her, and you certainly do. A couple of months ago, it was Courtney’s birthday, and you were happy to do your part for her own Go Down On Me Day. You gave her a series of rolling orgasms that you expect the entire neighborhood heard, and she promised you that she’d repay you in full.

She unties the sash of her raincoat, letting it fall open to demonstrate that she is entirely nude underneath. There’s not a hint of a tan line, from her generous breasts to her flat stomach to the blond fuzz at her groin. She’s even barefoot, and her pink-painted toenails shine up at you.

She takes obvious satisfaction in your reaction. “So,” she says...