Your boss.

As you close the door to your office and start down the hallway to your boss' office, you see the old prick coming your way. Mr. Van Pelt is in his mid-forties, tall and athletic, and you have heard the women at work say he is hung like a horse. But all you recognize is the fiery red face of a boss who is looking for someone to chew out.

You try to think of how to avoid him. But you know you can't. If you want to meet your wife you have to leave work, which means get this old ass' approval. So you stop in your tracks, put on a smile and wait for him.

Naturally, Mr. Van Pelt comes right up to you.

"I've been looking for you," he says quickly as he halts in front of you. "We have to talk right now about this report which just came in today. Let's go back into your office."

Dutifully, you follow him back to your office where Jennifer is already working on that report. She looks up at you as you enter as if asking what is going on, and you can only shrug as you let Van Pelt lead you into your office.

He goes around your desk and takes a seat. You, meanwhile, have to sit in one of the chairs usually reserved for visitors.

"This is bullshit," the boss yells as he throws a piece of paper down on the desk.

"What, sir?" You try to sound interested, but your mind is on your telephone conversation with the little woman. She has still got you hotter than hell.

The boss goes into some rambling speech about work ethic and all that crap for a few minutes before stopping to stare at you. "You understand, don't you?" you says.

You nod even though you don't know. The thought of your wife playing with a vibrator is going through your mind, and you're glad you have the desk between Van Pelt and yourself so your hard-on isn't noticable.

"You're not listening to anything I'm saying are you!" he yells. "What the hell are you so preoccupied with?!"