You've heard of Elf on a Shelf, Get ready for Scat with Aunt. Just Joking, it's some Talkie with Auntie

"Heya, John," greeted his aunt as she waved at him, beer can in her left hand. "What did Grandpa say to you?" She said, slurring her words as she spoke.

He eyed her unbuttoned blouse, letting him peer into her valley of breasts. "Just some guy stuff. Are you drunk?"

She laughed, patting him on the back. "Depends on your definition, John." She laughed once more, her breasts bouncing as she let out a chuckle. "I think I'm positively smashed."

'Oh how I would like to smash her' he thought as he continued his ogling, her not realizing that her own nephew was staring at her body.

"So, is Rob bringing back the wifey or not?" His aunt, Eliza, asked. "She's a real hottie. I'm kinda jealous of Rob."

"Are you talking about Mary?" he asked. "In that case, I totally agree with you."

"How did Rob find such a woman?" She sighed dramatically, her chest heaving heavily. "She makes my young panties wet."

"Young?" He asked, irecredulously. "You haven't been young for thirty years."

"Rude." Aunt Eliza pouted at him with her supple lips. She poked his chest with her finger playfully. "I'll have you know that most young women find me very attractive."

"Sure sure," he said. "Why did you come up?"

"Oh, your mom's cooking some stuff in the kitchen and didn't want me to mess with her. She's always been a cruel one." She sobbed dramatically.

"And instead of contributing in any sort of way, you decide to get drunk?"

"You know me so well, Johnny," she slurred as she hugged him. "You truly are my only nephew."

"You forgot about my sister, Rebecca," he commented as he could feel her breasts against his chest.

"Who?" She asked, not pulling away.

John sighed, but enjoyed the feeling of her gigantic titties pressing against his chest. Truly, tis' the greatest way to die, that is through the act of breastical suffication, said the Biblical figure, Moses, as he died of asphyxiation due to his wife's supple bosom. Titty 2:10

"You truly are the worst aunt," John said.

"Really?" She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "I thought I was the cool aunt, the aunt that you would like to be your own mom."

"I don't want you as my mom." Though that would be amazing, he thought.

"Oh well," she sighed dramatically. "It appears as if I'm not wanted in this family. So long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, adieu."

"You're not Julie Andrews," he said. "Julie Andrews is a legend, you're just a sad drunk."

Pouting, she reached over and magically took out a handkerchief from the inner clefts of her cleavage and wiped her eyes. "You're truly cruel John. And I thought you could be more of an adult that could see a person on the outside and not on the inside."

She unbuttoned the top buttons of her shirt, showing John a direct look at her massive badonkers. Her hoo-haas, if you will. Her marmaries, if you can. Her oonga-boongas, if you could.

"Julie Andrews and I can make a erotic pairing together, don't you think?" His aunt jumped up and down, causing her breasts to jiggle. "I should rent a nun suit and surprise my nephew with my bodacious bod."

John could vividly imagine that thought, and his boner did as well. Thankfully, he hid it well, and by hid it well, he used all of his mental prowess to **** it down.

"Anyways, I'm heading down," John said. "You should too, the turkey should be fully stuffed by now."

"God, I want to be stuffed," she said, rubbing her nipples with her fingers. She wasn't normally like this, it was probably the effects of the **** in her system that was making her feel like this. "Can't wait to get home and play with my toys."

John stared at the watch on his arm, and fiddled with the notches present on it. Should he use them, was a question he asked himself.

But that wasn't the correct question to ask.

It wasn't should he use them.

But when he used them.

It was a gift from his grandfather.

And you shouldn't look a giftgrandpa in the penis. You'll be scarred for life.