What Happened? Where Am I?

The first thing Yuri did when he woke up was clutch his head and wonder what happened the night before had been like for him to feel this out of it. He started feeling around for his pockets to grab and check on his keys, he came fully awake and sober when the sensation didn’t feel right. Looking himself over, Yuri found himself in an outfit that could only be described as an erotic parody of fancy medieval attire. And that wasn’t the only change, he also found his penis to be surprisingly monstrous in size, to him, by his estimates, his dick was considerably bigger than back home, the same could be said about his ballsack. He found out all this by doing a thorough search of himself. A thorough search of himself also yielded that while his basic appearance was mostly unchanged, as far as he could tell without a full-body reflective surface, his monstrous penis was still well within the feasible limits of his body, somehow. He just had a bigger dick now, not that he was complaining but he never really went on trying to overcompensate for a small penis, mostly because his schlong was well within average size for one of his body’s build.

Looking around, after checking on everything, Yuri found he was basically out in the middle of nowhere. He saw a town that was a good twenty-minute walk from his current position. Yuri had a lot of questions, quite a few that could probably be answered in town, but his biggest one was just how he had not only ended up in completely different attire but also how it was his penis had dramatically enhanced without notice until a moment ago. Yuri also found a medieval-style backpack, complete with a bedroll nestled atop it. A quick look through the bag yielded no sign of currency, in his search for his keys he did not find his wallet or a coin purse on his person. In his bag he did, however, find 4 similar outfits to the one he was wearing complete with complementary undergarments that looked like they belonged in a hentai or porno.

Before heading out, Yuri looked around for any signs that he was being pranked in some way but didn’t see anything other than an open field and the town to the right of the rising sun. Not sure what to do, Yuri just picked up his bag and headed for the town, it was his best bet in getting a read on his situation. As he drew closer the town seemed to be a medieval town. Well, that somewhat explained why he had what looked like hentai parodies of medieval clothing.

Yuri figured it would be for the best to try and figure out what he could do, especially since he had no idea if he could pull up a status screen. Now there was an idea, he started going through prompts. His first attempt was to loudly call out the word “STATUS” and a number of variations he had read in some light novels or seen in anime, to no avail. After trying everything he could think of for about a half-hour he slumped to the ground in defeat, chances were this world didn’t work that way to begin with and everything was recorded on a plate or card of some kind. It would have been much easier if he had been given a buffer time and told the basics, then he would at least have something akin to a tutorial to work off of.

Yuri could see the sun beginning to set, he really didn’t want to be out in the open, so he grabbed his new bag, which was much lighter on his shoulders than he thought it would be, and headed towards the town he could see. There wasn’t much to make out at this distance, all he could tell for sure, in the fading light, was that the town had a wall surrounding it and there was at least one building tall enough to see part of the roof coming a little way higher than the wall.

After about 20 minutes, Yuri was coming up on the town. The 50-foot high wall around the town made sense, walls usually offer up decent protection from monsters and hostile forces, but what really caught his attention was the guards. For some reason, all the visible guards (5 in total, 3 on the wall and 2 at the gate) were voluptuous women, all human, in very skimpy iron or steel armor. The armor looked more like two small ovals over the nipples and what was effectively very revealing panties, all made of metal with cotton padding as the barrier between the metal and skin of the wearer. All of the women looked pretty buff, clear Amazon warrior-type ladies. In other words, the impractical armor looked like something out of a pornographic art piece.

Like any healthy young man, Yuri had his own sexual fetishes. But it’s best you find out what those are at a later moment to this. That all said, Yuri was definitely feeling some sexual excitement from looking at the guards.

All the women looked at him with lustfully hungry eyes but didn’t move beyond their stations, they didn’t even make an attempt to speak with him. Yuri got the feeling these ladies were very thirsty, he didn’t want to end up in a compromising position with half the town trying to jump his bones. Since he was devoid of money, he didn’t even have a coin purse or coin pouch, he knew he would have to find work somewhere to take care of that. Looking around, Yuri found a sight that was all too common in the fantasy genre in Japanese media, the Adventures’ Guild. Of course, Yuri was curious as to how he could even read the text in the first place, considering the script was completely new to him, but not to the point he was freaking out about it, yet, since that’s part of the package in quite a few isekai series.

Looking around, Yuri didn’t see any indicators of men, at all, as he made his way towards the Adventurers’ Guild building. What he did see when looked around made him unsure of how he should feel, all the women were in different kinds of skimpy outfits (mostly lingerie), and several of them were clearly not human and of various fantasy races but there weren’t any elves or dwarves, he started to wonder if those races even existed here. The town was surrounded by plains with a gate at each of the cardinal directions, from what he could tell of everything he had seen so far. That said, all the women in town seemed to be eyeing him with hungry and/or thirsty looks.

The sun was finishing its descent and the moon was beginning its ascent as he entered the Adventurer’s Guild building. The inside of the complex was pretty barren, only the receptionist could be seen in the two-story complex’s entry area on the ground floor. The receptionist was clearly not human, she looked like a super hot orc someone would draw in a pornographic art piece, especially since she seemed to be buff and have a DDD-Cup bosom, the fact she was literally in a black thong and bra wasn’t helping things either. The moment was here, a moment he was dreading, Yuri would have to actually have a talk with someone, this was made potentially worse by the lustful gaze the receptionist was giving him. The gaze confirmed it for Yuri, he would rather be on the move as an adventurer than be saddled with a placement that kept him in a town or city, the less he had to deal with women looking at him like a piece of meat the better. Besides, as far as he knew, being an adventurer was the fastest way to earn the much-needed money for daily life.

“Um, hi,” said Yuri as he approached the receptionist, “I would like to register as an adventurer, if possible.”

“Sure thing, cutie,” said the receptionist he assumed was an orc, as she brought up a form and ink pen, “the pen is enchanted with a few different anti-lying charms to keep you from being dishonest. We had a few folks try a while back to register under multiple names with various disguise methods.”

“I think I understand,” said Yuri as he approached and took the pen, before he signed anything he looked over the form. It looked pretty basic, although where he would see the sex category asking for how you sexually identified yourself was asking which of a variety of sexual activities was most preferred with the gender category just below it, the gender category had the box for male crossed out with a left-leaning diagonal line through it. However, the moment Yuri placed his hand on the paper the line through the male check box disappeared and had a blue checkmark in the box as its replacement, the rest of the form was automatically filled in as well, even the Sex category had the Undecided choice checked off. “Okay, that was weird,” said Yuri as he looked up and passed the form back to the receptionist, who was staring at him in amazement. Clearly, the line about the pen was meant to keep someone from realizing it was the form that was actually enchanted to give all your genuine data.

The receptionist carefully took the form like it was a delicate object or extremely precious treasure and quickly hurried to the back area where Yuri couldn’t see anything. After a few minutes, the receptionist came back from the back with a note on a gold tray, Yuri guessed the kind of tray that denoted the importance of the contents of said tray, and by that reasoning then this was an extremely important note, and it was for him.