Welcome to parasite paradise!

In a severely overpopulated world, a vampire can consider her larder well stocked. Human blood needs no preparation, it just needs to be accessed and consumed. The erotic excitement feeding causes is a bonus and the drained corpses we leave behind mere collateral damage. Vampirific philosophy has but one overriding precept: that the human race exists solely to feed we who have passed beyond life.

This construct enables us vamps to lead a very uncomplicated undeath. Climate change and the state of the economy are of no interest to us. We just take everything we need and just leave the rest. We're not greedy, we're not envious, we're not boastful, spiteful or lazy, neither are we unnecessarily cruel. In fact, compared with most of our planets human population, we're a throughly decent lot when you get to know us. Not that the living get much chance to get to know us of course. For starters, we only leave home to feed and therefore only strike up conversations with people who'll probably not be alive once the conversation's over. I guess that’s why I've become Little Nancy No-mates. John's still around, but only as a mere functionary. Steph has him well under her spell and so we've no difficulty in obtaining blood from the funeral parlour if we don't fancy dining out. We look on John as our Just Eat or Deliveroo service; meals on wheels for the undead. This means that we have to put up with his inane chatter while he's with us but what can't be helped must be endured I suppose. Take the other night for instance. He asked me if I regretted never being able to have children. Flipping cheek! I'd had several that week, all of them delicious