We tried. Last check in before lights out?

Chloe looked herself over in the mirror, steam still clearing a little from her shower. She kind of expected to see someone else, but it was just her: Chloe McRose, red hair, blue eyes, too much chest, and not enough spine. The admonishment made her turn away, not enjoying the feeling of judging herself.

'Hey, fuck you,' she spat at herself. 'Virginity is some sexist bullshit anyway. You're not 'used,' or cheap or a whore. Just calm down and stop being a baby about this.' She grunted an ambiguous response to her own thoughts, finishing drying off. It's not that she hadn't enjoyed the experience, mind. The guilt and shame was just starting to weigh in, coming up with all sorts of fun, new names to call herself for screwing a guy she barely knew. Not to mention feeling a little bad, like she was using him. 'I mean, you were upfront. Heather said he doesn't get attached, anyway. It's not like you're breaking his heart, he probably didn't even mean any of the comments he made while you were fucking.' That last thought, as one could imagine, didn't help.

Chloe had barely finished putting on her dad's old, grey college shirt and some comfortable panties to cover up when the door to the bathroom opened.

"Dude, what the fuck?!" she snapped, jumping back and only catching herself from falling on the edge of the sink. Gavin, for his part, also stumbled backwards, though at least had a wall to catch him. Chloe let out a small snort of laughter when he smacked into it, looking behind himself in sheer panic as to who else he might have put in danger.

"S-sorry, Chloe," he said, catching his breath (and not for the first time tonight). "I didn't think anyone else would be up. Should have knocked."

"I mean, yeah, but I'm semi-decent, it's no big. Just ... surprised." She paused and looked over her friend, noticing he seemed ... more flustered than usual. To a lot of people, the difference would be quite small considering his normal behavior, but the bit of distance in his stare read too strong to her. "You okay, man? What's going on?"

"I have ... had a weird night ..." he answered with a sigh, letting his back rest against the wall and slump down to the floor. Chloe gave him a half-hearted smile and joined him in the hall, sitting down across the way from him.

"That's going around. Want to talk about it?"

"... yeah, that sounds smart. I promised I'd tell you later anyway." Chloe raised an eyebrow, causing Gavin to let out a small groan. "Yes, it's girl stuff. Do you want me to tell you about it or not?"

"Obvs." At that point, Chloe noticed something she usually did not with her close friends, namely the fact that Gavin's pants were tent-poling pretty bad right now. 'Oh my,' she thought, 'I wasn't expecting it to be that kind of problem ... Chloe, you can't have sex with Gavin, you actually like him. GOD, that's a fucked-up way to think!'

"So there's this girl I actually like. Like, not 'I think she's pretty,' or 'I guess that'd be fine,' like full-on 'this girl is amazing and I would lose my right hand for a chance with her.' Which is ... not really me?" Chloe's focus returned as he started speaking, trying to figure out which one of the girls at the cabin it might be. Because, obviously, it was one of them. "And I kind of, sort of, just got to second and started rounding third with her, like, ten minutes ago, and I feel like I'm dreaming."

"Okay, first: get it." Gavin gave a curt nod, acknowledging Chloe's praise. "Second: fucking really? Who? How'd that happen? Where? I don't need a detailed graph, but the curiosity is just murdering me right now!"

"Um, in order, yes, Madison, I still don't know, living room?" He looked away as he thought, counting the answers on his fingers. Chloe didn't know what to say to any of that, really. Madison isn't who she would have guessed, though they were both film dorks deep down. The brunette cheerleader was an absolute spitfire of a woman, pretty much dead opposite from her friend in every way, but on the other hand, Chloe hadn't been making predictable decisions lately, either. "I don't know, we just watched this video essay after dinner, then we were talking for ... god, hours, I have no idea what time is right now, then she ... kind of asked me why I hated her."

"Ooooooohhhhhhh ..." Some things clicked together in Chloe's head. "Yeah, she mentioned that by the lake. I told her I was pretty sure you didn't and she should try to pin you down for a conversation ... I just didn't think she'd take my advice so literally."

"I was serious about her, I get all weird when I'm really serious about someone." Chloe tilted her head in a gesture of admission, having seen the very few serious crushes Gavin had and wondering how she didn't spot him freaking out around Madison earlier. "I just kind of told her the truth, which ... you remember when Stephen McCann got nailed in the face with a volleyball freshman year?"

"I believe his incredibly clever comment was 'nice tits,' so yeah, I remember the event that made me believe in karma."

"Well, I don't know if Zack or I ever mentioned it, but that was Madison. And I told her I've just really admired her since then, just that she's this uncompromising **** I wish I knew how to be like, not to mention the fact she's just ... so fucking pretty. And then she kissed me. And then everyone else in the house. And then me again, a lot, and we sort of got pretty hot and heavy and had to stop before we did some things way too fast."

"Why did she kiss everyone else in the house? She didn't kiss me. Should I be offended?"

"No, no, I think it was just every guy she wasn't related to. She said she'd been really hormonal since Brandon's been all ... I think I said shotgun-dad? And she wanted to make sure she was really feeling what was happening between us and not just horny."

"And ...?"

"Well, it wasn't just horny." Gavin paused, clearly feeling a little **** telling even someone as close to him as Chloe this. "It just also definitely wasn't not that."

"Wow. Is that good? You look kind of like it's not, and it sounds good, so I'm a bit lost here, Gav."

"It's good! No, no, it's definitely good, I just ... I'm worried I'm letting things go to fast and it's going to burn out? I've wanted this for, like, three years, and now that it's actually happening, I'm so fucking scared I'm going to ruin it."

"So you're worried you came on too strong?" Chloe already knew the answer, but wanted to make sure Gavin heard himself say it, too.

"No, she was ... pretty firmly the aggressor. And I liked all of it, I kind of wish I'd been able to say we should just do it in good conscience ..."

"A girl you've had a crush on for three years was trying to get your dick and you didn't push that? I'm hearing this right?"

"I know how it sounds. I just felt like if I did, it was admitting how scared I was this wasn't going past tonight. And that if I did, well, it wouldn't."

"Hey, Gavin, fun question, how old are you and how old is Madison?"

"We're both eighteen."

"And that makes you legally ..."

"Adults."

"And adults are allowed to do what they want with each other as long as they both want it." Chloe's gaze softened as she made sure Gavin was looking back at her for what she wanted to say. "It sounds like you're just worried, but we've both known Madison for a bit. If she didn't want something, she'd tell you. If she does, she'll also probably tell you. If you feel rushed, if you feel like things are moving too fast for you, that's a real problem and I want to be supporto-girl for you. But it kind of sounds like you're just in your head about this?"

"You're right, I know you're right," Gavin responded, leaning his head back against the wall. "It's part of why I'm so into her, I really like everything being up-front and clear. Really helps how anxious I get trying to figure out what people want."

"Good. Then don't second-guess it. If you feel like something is wrong for you, please let me know and I'll try to help you work that out. I don't want anyone taking advantage of you. Just ... do you think Madison likes you as much as she says? No bullshit, no time to think, what's your gut telling you?"

"... yes, honestly. It feels like we really have something, and I don't want it to go to waste."

"Then don't freak out!" Gavin looked down at that, an incredulous look plastered on his face. "I know, I know, it's not helpful advice, but I want you to hear me saying that when you start to. She's laying it all out for you, just make sure you're returning the favor and ... I'll be honest, this feels sort of big."

"Not just to me?"

"No, I was really surprised at first, but it kind of tracks now: you're the most anxious boy on the entire planet. Of course you want someone who wears their entire organ system on their sleeve. And you're a cute, smart guy who she knows isn't jerking her around or trying to just hook up with her. Plus it sounds like I was right about you having things in common."

"More than a little," Gavin rolled his shoulders, clearly trying to relax and release some of the considerable tension he was holding in his body. "Thanks, Chloe. I really appreciate you being straight with me here. Oh, and don't tell anyone? Madison said she wanted to be the one to tell Brandon, because ..."

"Because of who he is as a person, I got it."

"Yeah. Hey, sorry, I've been all wrapped up in my own stuff here, you said you've had a weird night, too?" Chloe could actually feel herself freeze up. Part of her wanted to be honest, to be unashamed of an idea she'd been pretty proud of just an hour or so ago. But the rest of her, the heavy parts, all told her that it either wasn't important or it was bad, evil, disgusting, and she shouldn't tell anybody. Along with not having slept after her encounter with Kurt, it was just too much to process.

"It was. But I need sleep more than talk, if that's okay."

"Okay ... you're not just a support system, I'm here if you need me, too. And so's Zack, but I'm pretty sure he's just been asleep since dinner. He really went for it down at the lake earlier."

"I know! And I'm glad I have you two. And I'm glad you're happy, even if you're trying to trick yourself out of it." She gave him a small wink at the last comment, which Gavin chuckled at, too aware of his own neuroses to even try denying it.

"Alright, if you're done, I'm going to use the bathroom and go to bed, too. Maybe things will be less weird tomorrow." He got up and held out a hand, which Chloe took to help her up to her feet.

"Kind of has to be, right?" Even as she said it, she didn't believe it. As they parted ways, Chloe's mind was still swimming. She was happy for Gavin. He hadn't had an actual girlfriend ... though, she guessed, they weren't really boyfriend/girlfriend right now, they just made out once, in a long time. He usually didn't let himself get that attached to people outside of her and Zack. But the contrast felt a little sharp with voices that sounded like her grandmother still ringing in her head about being a slut and an embarrassment.

Chloe collapsed into bed, already fading away into the night. The voices got quieter as she passed out, entering a thankfully-dreamless sleep from the sheer overload of things trying to take precedent in her mind.