Waking up’s a good start, right?

Waking up, the first thing I thought was “That was a weird dream.” Dropping into a void while I was dicking around on the internet tended to give me that impression, though. I ended up talking to this weird grey guy about how I’d get a bunch of mind-control powers, which also apparently had to comply with some arbitrary point guidelines.

I didn’t have any cognitive issues during the dream, though, so I’m pretty sure I ended up picking stuff that I would’ve picked if I did it like some online quiz anyways. It definitely read like one of the CYOA things I looked at on Reddit, what with the “drawbacks” and “boons”. I must’ve looked at too many yesterday.

I ended up picking all the “slaves” that the grey thing offered, probably cause I have a hard time making hard choices between multiple people, but the fact that it was a dream is a real blessing. I still live with my parents, after all, and it’s not like I’d have the space to live with nine people, even if they’ll apparently follow every order I give them. Well, I might be able to tell them to have their own homes nearby, but I’d feel like a jerk getting them all to join up in the harem I definitely had in mind only to **** them to live apart from me.

Being able to “planeswalk” would help though, if it works like I think it does. When I made the choice I kinda thought of a power to make portals kinda like in Rick and Morty, only with allowances where I couldn’t use it to hurt people by closing it while they’re still inside it. I think that’s called... “portal-cutting”? Yeah, that. Other stuff too, like not getting to take more than I could reasonably carry, so not taking a whole house or city. Or needing other people to walk through a portal themselves, if they wanted to use them too. If I could do that, then we could all just make a place up in some universe without any conflict and live there comfortably. Though, then I couldn’t also do things with my regular friends and family too, without taking the time to make a portal.

Well, that’s just all conjecture anyways, since I don’t really have any “mindslaver” powers. Dreams aren’t real, of course. I thought about as much once I went to go brush my teeth.

A nice dollop of toothpaste, and not only will my teeth get cleaned up, but my breath’ll stop smelling like dea-

It’s already minty. My breath’s minty, and I haven’t brushed my teeth. Not only that, but they’re already clean like I brushed them real well.

Huh. That’s weird.

Come to think of it, that grey thing said I’d look young all the time, plus have minty fresh breath as a bonus if I drank the worm juice. Like, in addition to the other stuff I got with my points.

“John! You have a package! A big one too, from the looks of it!” My mom called from upstairs. My bedroom, as well as my “personal bathroom”, was in the basement, you understand.

Making my way upstairs, I saw the package on the coffee table. It was a plain brown cardboard box, with a handwritten tag with one red stamp on it. I had heard that there were these things called “forever stamps” that you could use to pay for all the postage on some mail, but I didn’t think they worked for packages too. Especially one as big as this. It was about the size of a typical moving box, reaching up to about my knees in height.

The shipping label itself read, in incredibly neat handwriting, “Lucy Fer, You Know Where From”. Which, you know, was odd, considering in the dream I made a deal to test sex toys for a girl named Lucy who was apparently The Devil.

Hm. That. That still could’ve been just a dream, right?

As if to answer me, the doorbell rang. When I went to answer it, nine familiar faces waited on the other side.