Unpleasantness

You awaken to relative silence, the muted noises of children playing and birds singing outside barely audible from within your bedroom. You feel dazed, as though you'd spent the night drinking instead of spending it sleeping, and your entire body feels like it's been stampeded on by a herd of buffalo. Definitely not a good day.

After clumsily stumbling out of bed, you make your way to the shower, but when you try to turn it on with the expectation of a nice, hot shower to perk you up, you're met with nothing. No warm, soothing downpour of liquid heaven, no droplets of fluid, nothing. Your piping must be busted or something. Whatever it is, you'll deal with it later.

Now in an even more sour mood, and still unable to shake off the sleepiness from the night before, you barely manage to stagger your way into the kitchen, hoping to fix yourself some breakfast. You open your pantry, stumbling across little aside from a sugarless, "healthy" cereal that looks like it's repackaged hay, fit for barnyard animals but not for you. The box says something about flax or wheat or something and how high in fibre and vitamins it is, but all you can think about is how it's going to taste. You look again, making sure you don't have anything else that you could have for breakfast you don't - you must have finished it off yesterday, and then put back the box of flax wheat filth back where you found it. You'll just have to skip breakfast today.

Sighing, you drag yourself back to your room, grabbing some clothes from your dresser. You accidentally put the shirt on inside-out, and end up having to take it back off and fix it so that it's inside-in. Nothing major, of course, but by now your day has already gone sour and every little thing is digging at your nerves. Once you're done, you figure that maybe the sunlight will cheer you up, so you open the front door to breathe in that fresh morning air. Instead, you breathe in a torrential gust of rain, soaking you from head to toe within the second or two that you still have the door open. If you had a weapon nearby, this is about the point that you'd use it to go ballistic on everyone, just because of how incredibly frustrated you are at everything. Unfortunately, you don't, so screaming a long string of cusses will have to suffice.

Once you're done shouting out profanity, you regain your resolve. You won't let any of this stop you. You're going to go out there today and you're going to like it, everything else is damned! With your newfound vigour, and now being wide awake, you march to your hall closet to fetch a jacket, open the door, and scream at the top of your lungs when you see what's inside.