Two pills and leaflets

There were two pills in separate foil-backed plastic bubbles. One was blue, the other pink. Accompanying them were two identical leaflets. I passed one to Kirsty and began to read the other:

Males should take the blue pill. Females should take the pink pill.

Take ONE pill at each meal time, BEFORE eating.

EFFECTS

Both pills are known to significantly enhance libido and sexual stamina. Both pills have the effect of tightening the buttocks. The blue pill also has the effect of enlarging the penis significantly, boosting semen production, and the ability to maintain an erection. The pink pill causes rapid growth of breast tissue.

The pills should be taken prior to eating, and the effects normally manifest themselves during or after the meal.

SIDE EFFECTS

The pills also affect the digestive system and can lead to excessive flatulence. In some cases the pills can affect stool production, generally resulting in firmer, more solid stools.

PRECAUTIONS

Do not take when pregnant. Do not take the pill intended for the opposite gender. If in doubt, consult your doctor or pharmacist.

There followed a list of active ingredients - names of chemicals I had never heard of and had no clue about. I looked up at Kirsty who was studying me with a mischievous grin on her face.