Tuning in to a thrilling and sexy (wrestling) promotion!

Appropriately, the first broadcast opened with a bang.

Or rather, hundreds of bangs, as a pyrotechnic barrage set the air on fire and rattled bones in the first five rows of countless in this jam-packed arena. The noise of those explosions was drowned out by the roar of the crowd.

“Hello, world! Welcome, welcome, welcome, to the very first episode of Monday Night Mayhem! I’m your beautiful and knowledgeable announcer, Evi Ruho!”

“Vappu Rinne here. Thanks for tuning in.”

Two announcers sat at their desk, inverted headsets on, and yet they had to struggle to be heard. Well, Evi raised her voice to a headphone-blasting volume. Vappu didn’t bother, and was washed away in the ocean of sound.

“Is that all the energy you can muster for this world-historic first broadcast?!”

“Yes.”

Both were usagi, with big floppy ears. Evi’s were snow-white, common among her tribe for its usefulness in their usual snowy climates. In this confined, sweltering world of body heat and boiling bright lights, it would help her stay cool, as would the v-neck sweater she wore that strained against her absolutely enormous bust.

While Vappu’s hair and ears were jet black, and her sweater only had an opening beneath the bustline rather than above it for some odd reason, her skin tone was just as pale-shade-of-ghostly. Her breasts were just as large, impossible to conceal even beneath black wool. Some usagi were just like that. One-third breast, growing only outward as they matured rather than gaining height.

Though the cameras didn’t pick it up past their announcer desk, both were sitting on great big pillows that were still, somehow, far smaller and less soft than what was resting on the table. A full glass of water sat precariously near the edge, the contents rippling and vibrating.

The building was shaking.

That announcers table was looking out upon the squared circle, the four-sided wrestling ring formed with three sets of taught, enchanted rune-etched ropes tied to steel posts in the corners. Within that ring, assembled each week by the crew in a different city across Autumn, athletes came from all over to compete.

“Coming to you live from Artoria in the Serene Republic of Sciorheil, where our promotion has already gained countless fans in local broadcasts and pay-per-views!”

“Evi, how much do you think we could have been paid, with all the money the company literally just blew…?”

“Oh, given the contract we’ve just signed with CommStar…? I-I’m not worried about stuff like that, Vappu! Corporate definitely isn’t in my ear yelling at me right now, either. Everyone knows that the International Wrestling Alliance is the place for major-league pro wrestling!”

It was a tradition as old as history, as old as the gods. Locking up body-to-body and grappling for supremacy.

Often, for life itself.

Though in this day and age, lives were no longer usually on the line. But with lucrative contracts, winners’ purses, and glittering golden championship belts on the line? And now millions tuning in across the world to watch these matches? The energy was so highly-charged that hairs were standing on end.

Finally, the barrage of explosions ended… but the smoke remained, thick, **** off the air and concealing top of the ramp that connected from the ring to the vast labyrinth backstage.

Maybe the sudden silence caused the crowd to fall quiet, or maybe they just spotted the figure within the deepest layers of the smoke. It was easier to do that when tiny orbs of foxfire floated up behind her, their enticing blue glow so distinct from the harsh white lights mounted far overhead in the rafters.

When she walked down to the ring, the cameras and live audience alike got a look at a nine-tailed blonde goddess, wrapped in a straining, barely-intact black and red kimono. Her every step, the material shifted and shimmered in the lights, and threatened to fall, but somehow, presumably through sheer magical ****, never did. Her hips sashayed as she made the long walk down, spotlights painting her and washing out some of the golden hue of her long, flowing hair.

In one hand, she had a tiny, twirling umbrella, and in the other, a wagging paper fan.

Both, of course, bore the foxfire logo of her company.

She strode down to the ring, the clop of wooden sandals upon metal a strangely archaic sound. In fact, her entire manner and appearance was so traditional, right down to the blatant, cleavage-exposing sex appeal of an elder kitsune. It was too on-the-nose for a modern audience, and yet, nobody could hope to look away.

Especially not as she had to bend over to pass through the ring ropes and get inside. Which she did with the same practiced grace of every motion, even as her enormous cleavage drooped low, and gave a certain angle of the crowd a grand show.

The cameras only saw their awestruck, lustful reactions for the audience at home. A heavily-blushing nekomata cameraman ran to the edge of the elevated ring, and passed a microphone up to her like he was offering up his firstborn child.

Cherry blossoms rained from the ceiling like confetti.

“Well met, everyone. Whether you’ve traveled far to attend in person, or are watching us from the comfort of your living room, thank you for being a part of this wonderful moment. Everyone in the company is very excited to take things to the next level~”

“Man, her breasts are huge. Is that kimono going to fall off or what…?”

“Q-Quiet, Vappu! Not like you’ve got any room to talk! Or to put papers on this desk… Careful, my water...”

“My name is Camilla Harvey, though I suspect you knew that already.”

She looked into the ‘hard camera’, looking directly back into her, and gave a little wink. Even her makeup was immaculately done, with eyeshadow emphasizing her keen, scheming, smiling honey-gold eyes.

Anyone who’d lived so long gave the younger ‘flicker’ races the distinct impression she was in on a joke they weren’t, and could never, be.

“At one time, I was, among many other things, the heavyweight champion of the world. Though all that’s long in the past! Today, I just run the whole thing, I suppose. I humbly negotiated this television deal, and well, here we are! Two-hours of thrilling programming, every single week, starting right now!”

A cheer rippled through the audience, and they held up a variety of signs. Some of which would have been confiscated in other promotions, but not here.

“Our hardcore fanbase already knows exactly what to expect from our years of operations in the Serene Republic, and they are my most treasured and beloved customers. However! This has doubtless drawn countless new fans to the product. As President, it’s my solemn responsibility to prepare you for the heart-pounding action to come.

First, I should say that if you aren’t of that certain particular age… you should probably find a different show to watch. This is a little much for children.”

Camilla leaned forward for the camera, and again revealed more of the vast, creamy pale expanse of her chest. Cleavage for days, each breast far larger than her head, filling up the entire bottom half of the screen.

“I know the one thing I didn’t want when I was growing up was beautiful women, dressed skimpy, rolling around. Nice plan, boss.”

“Hey, Vappu, you know she’s got a wire on her, right…?”

“If I was gonna get fired, it would have happened already.”

“Our wrestling matches take place right here, between these sacred ropes. Two sides enter, and they don’t leave until one is declared the winner or the time limit, fifteen minutes, is reached. You can pin your opponent to a count of three… or **** them to submit to you. Verbally, or by tapping out.

Or you can always render them unable to compete, if it comes to that. But do remember, if somebody breaks the rules and the referee catches it, they’ll be disqualified… and management will be very upset with such unprofessional conduct.”

Her kimono shifted to reveal a set of huge, powerful thighs flexing beneath.

“Most matches don’t allow underhanded tactics like low blows or using foreign objects, but a few are more… freeform. We want to offer a varied product for your enjoyment. Diverse talents, with diverse talents, from across this vast, beautiful world. All here to fight, for your enjoyment.

Archers, bowmen, stamen, pistils… They all have something to offer this league.

And yes, I’ve confirmed with the network. As long as nobody dies, it’s all good~”

She wasn’t kidding about that, either. In the days, months, and years to come, it would become evident that anything could happen on Monday Night Mayhem.

Whether or not they should have happened wasn’t material.

The only real rule was that the show must go on.