Track and field!

You suddenly catch your second wind, then start running as fast as you can toward the orgy of field hockey players. "Get back here, sweet cheeks!" cries out the latecomer to the rugby scrum. "I think I love you!" This gives you enough incentive to catch your third and fourth wind as you dash across the field at an incredible rate of speed, never seen before by man.

As good fortune would have it, the producers of a TV show called Smallville just happen to be passing by at the same time you catch your fourth wind. Miles Millar turns to Alfred Gough and says "Did you see that kid, Al? We need to sign him as a stunt double for Tom Welling! Just think of the money we can save on special effects for all those Clark Kent super speed running segments! That guy IS the red-blue blur!" They both join the chase, waving a contract, yelling "Wait up, kid!"

As bad fortune would have it, you pick the wrong time to turn your head to see who's yelling wait. When you turn your head around, your face makes contact with a goalie's field hockey stick that is being purposely swung at you by an irate lesbian field hockey coach who doesn't appreciate her after practice orgy being invaded by any man.

Things suddenly seem to be happening in slow motion. You get the sense that your body is suddenly flying backwards through the air as the blue sky and white puffy clouds change to beautifully colored stars set against a dark night sky. The last thing you remember seeing is your couch flying through the stars at warp speed before the painful reality of the ground takes you deep into the realm of sweet unconsciousness.

(Author's note: No heterosexuals were harmed during the writing of this segment. Any similarities to actual events and occurrences is strictly coincidental.)

Hours later, after many nightmarish Star Trek dreams about leading an away team on an expedition of a gay planet, you wake up to a blinding bright light staring you in the face. "Oh, my head" you moan. Suddenly the face of what you think is an angel blocks out the bright light. She looks at you, her violet eyes full of deep concern. "take it easy there" she says. "You've taken quite a nasty bump on the head. You're also quite lucky most of the girls on the hockey team are bisexual. We subdued our coach and kept the rugby players from getting at you. They finally left when we convinced them you were dead."

You sit up slowly as your vision starts to clear. "Where am I?" you ask.

"You're at my place" the girl answers. You get a good look at her for the first time, dresed in her little field hockey uniform. She has the most beautiful hips you've ever seen hiding beneath her pleated skirt, and it's hard to take your eyes off of her more than ample cleavage. Her long curly dark red hair cascades over her shoulders and down her back to just above her shoulder blades. She smiles sweetly at you as your eyes lavish her body with attention.

"Well, it looks like you have two headaches" she says, looking at your throbbing crotch. "Maybe I should soothe that one, too?" She takes you by the hand, and leads you to stand right in front of a very lovely milk glass lamp with a floral design that is sitting atop an antique end table. She quietly unbuttons and unzips your pants, allowing them to fall down around your ankles.

She drops to her knees before you as she tugs your underwear down. She looks appreciatively at your cock as it springs out of your underwear, pulsing and throbbing with desire. She looks at the lamp and the end table, then smiles up at you. "I think you're the one I've been waiting for" she says as she pushes your foreskin back and kisses the head of your cock. "Do you mind cumming all over my lamp and end table?" she asks as she genlty licks and strokes you.

At first the question eludes you. All you can feel is the heat and the passion this beautiful girl is bestowing upon you. "Umm, no... Uh... WHAT?" you finally ask. You pull away from her in shocked disbelief. "Why do you want me to cum all over your lamp and end table?"

The girl looks up at you with pleading eyes. She starts to cry as she says "Because they're my mom and my sister, and they've been transformed into a lamp and an end table by an evil dominatrix until the perfect cock cums all over them." She wraps her arms around you and starts sobbing uncontrollably into your pubic hair. "I know you must think I'm mad, but I'm not. Please help me! I'll do anything you want if you'll help me! I just want my mum and my sister back!"

You caress the back of her head. Her hair feels so soft and curly. You know from your own earlier experience with your toilet and couch that the girl isn't crazy. "No, I don't think you're mad" you finally say in a sympathetic voice. "I think you're a very beautiful girl who has a real problem here. Don't worry, I'll help you. But I'd like to ask you two questions first, if you don't mind."

"Anything" she says, smiling at you.

"What's your name?"

"Gertrude" she says, almost expecting you to laugh.

"That's a lovely name, though I had thought of you more as being a Joanne or perhaps a Regina."

She looks relieved that you didn't laugh. "Okay, what's your second question?"

You're not sure how to approach this. Maybe just blurt it out, and hope for the best? "Well, I'm not sure how to put it. I mean, I don't know how to ask this, but I need you to come home with me. Would you mind showing your ass to my couch and my toilet?"

Gertrude smiles and turs to the lamp and the end table. "Mum, sis!" she exclaims. "We've found uncle Henry and aunt Judy!"

(Author's note: No couches, toilets, lamps, or antique end tables were stained with cum during the writing of this segment. Any similarities to actual events and occurrences is strictly coincidental.)

What happens next?