The world inside her head

(Sometimes I wonder just what I am, am I even really alive? Am I a robot having a human experience? Or perhaps I am a human having a robot experience...)

Bronze was such a shiny metal, she thought as her fingers ran over the scratched pipes running over the walls. Unlike her own metallic body, the pipes would shine and gleam as the light hit it, the moisture on it making them seem to sparkle. She took great care to polish each bar, even the little nooks and crannies, every single night. It's not as though she had anything else to do, and she didn't like being shut down. They didn't want her upstairs any more than she had to, mostly to clean. Thus, in a way, this was her room, this Basement.

True, it was the basement of the school, the sound of laughing kids above her would always contrast the low rumblings of the boiler which she was given charge of. At night, however, she would feel restless. This was when she was allowed up to clean the rooms and halls. It didn't really take all too long, and with nothing else to do she would find herself in the library. Part of what her job used to be was reading to the kids. She would be given a book and told to read to the children. Back then, she was upstairs during the days, helping the kids, cleaning, and so on. She was happy.

Once she got moved to the basement, to clean at night to remain out of sight and thus out of mind. This was when she discovered there was more than those simple books, there was a whole world of books, worlds within worlds. These were the highlights of her life, and those which she could remember clearly. Yet during the day, before she could come up and when she had to go to her room, she felt Unhappy. Even when she saw the sparkling copper pipes, to her they seemed to be crying the tears she could not shed herself.

This was her lot in life, unhappy as it was, or was it? That was the problem with being artificial, you are simply what you are made to be. She was designed to be child-friendly, to smile and be happy, and the occasional bit of common household type chores... Which was basically all they allowed her to do these days.

Was she even able to be unhappy? After all, what programmer would design her to be so? She had no need to be unhappy, she didn't know why anyone would desire to be happy, and yet -tzzt- She felt she should be unhappy, but did that actually make her so? She supposed the better question would be, why does she care?