The Gale family: sexual conceptual neglect — apart from daughter Jess

I've lived just down the street from the Gale family for years. They always seemed very reclusive and straight-laced. They were religious, in a strict but ultimately good- natured way: not pushing their beliefs or even mentioning them much, but obviously guided by some narrow set of principles. I'd spoken on and off to their oldest daughter Jess, who had just started university when they moved in. That was just after I'd moved here to study psychology. Jess seemed very friendly and well-adjusted, if a little quirky. But the other members of the family seemed to be quite reserved behind their neighbourly facade.

So, it came as quite a surprise one Sunday when Mr. Gale came to my house at 10am, and knocked on my door. I answered it cautiously.

"Hello?"

"Hello, I'm Darren Gale from down the street. Are you Luke Sanders?"

I nodded. "That's me."

Darren smiled, sheepishly. "It's good to properly meet you. We've lived nearby for so long, it feels silly that I'm only just introducing myself now."

I shrugged. "It's not always common to know your neighbours, these days. Is everything okay? Is there something you needed to talk to me about?"

Darren's smile faded. "It's a bit embarrassing. Our family has a bit of a problem. Er, can I come in?"

Darren seemed in need of help. I thought there couldn't be any harm. "Sure, come on in," I said, waving him in.

Darren dutifully took off his shoes once in the door, with a quiet dignity that reminded me of my grandfather, despite Darren being only in his late 30s, or so far as I could tell anyway.

I offered him a glass of water, which he accepted. I motioned him to the sofa, and he sat down as though he were a news reader.

"What seems to be the trouble?" I asked him.

Darren gave me with a cautious look. "Do you know my daughter, Jess?"

I nodded. "Yes, we bump into one another some times at the bus stop, or the University." She studied mathematics while I studied psychology, so our time tables didn't lend themselves much to crossing paths.

Darren nodded. "I'm here at her suggestion. She must think that you are someone that she... that we can trust. We have a... sensitive social problem. I need to know whether I can trust you to exercise total discretion." He looked at me as if he were about to tell me some nuclear codes.

I was intrigued, and surprised. I liked Jess and thought she liked me, but I had no idea I'd made such an impression. I was a bit nervous, but in the end I thought it would be better to try to help. "I promise to honour the trust that Jess has in me."

Darren seemed uncertain, but after a pause relented. "Jess says you study psychology," he stated simply.

"Yes, with a philosophy minor," I confirmed.

Darren raised his eyebrows. "Interesting," he said. "Have you by chance heard of a condition called 'Conceptual Neglect'?"

As it happened, I had. "Yes."

Darren nodded. "Do you understand what it entails?"

I nodded again. "Yes... it prevents someone from being able to form or recognise a particular abstract concept. I did a project on someone who was diagnosed with Zoological Conceptual Neglect: they could not recognise that there was any significant difference between animals and people. For the longest time, people thought he was an eccentric person who just thought that animals were extremely rude."

Darren seemed to relax. "Yes. So, under the right circumstances, Conceptual Neglect can be left undiagnosed for a very long time," he stated simply. He took a drink of his water. He seemed to be steeling himself to say something.

I tried to help him. "Is it Jess? Does she have some form of Conceptual Neglect?"

Darren looked up at me with a rueful smile, and laughed. "No. Not quite, anyway." He looked to my liquor cabinet. "Luke, I know that we scarcely know each other, and that it is mid-morning on a Sunday. But I would be immensely grateful to you for a little liquid courage at the moment. Would you mind?"

I was quite surprised. A religious man drinking on a Sunday morning? Darren read my face. "Yes, I know. There's a story there, too." He seemed ashamed... but not for himself.

What could I do? "Do you like scotch?" I asked him.

Darren's face brightened slightly. "I do. Could I please have one on the rocks?"

Not how I would take it, but I obliged him, and poured some for myself, with just a splash of water. We clinked glasses. Darren cradled his glass carefully, and sipped.

"Luke, I would do just about anything for my girls, Jess and Kelley, and my boy Max. I came here to see what sort of person you are. I can't say I know much about you, but I need someone to trust."

I looked steadily back at him. "Darren, I think I should let you know that I'm not in any way religious, and I don't have any strict code that I live by. But I do believe in trust, in helping, and in trying to do what's right."

Darren nodded grimly. "That's the impression that Jess described. I hope that I won't regret what I'm about to tell you... because it's difficult to know how to ask for help, for a problem you can't even conceptualise."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

Darren took a sip of his whiskey. "Six months ago, our church leader was caught doing something serious with our other daughter, Kelley, that he shouldn't have done. Jess is the one who found out. It took her a whole month for her to convince us to believe her."

My heart fell. "I'm so sorry, Darren," I said. "What did he do?"

Darren hung his head. "I don't know."

I didn't know what to say to that. "Is Kelley okay? Is she hurt?"

Darren laughed ruefully. "Oh, she's perfectly fine! No complaints."

I was confused. "So, what did Jess tell you he did?"

Darren gave me a long, searching look. "Luke, I can tell you the words she said to us. I even have them written down, for me to read out. But the fact of the matter is that I don't understand the words or why it's a problem." He took a slug of his scotch. "Me, my wife Hellen, Kelley, our boy Max... we all have Conceptual Neglect, for something called 'Sec-su-al-itty'."

I was astonished.

"It's a pretty important concept, I'm told," he added deadpan, watching my expression.

I nodded slowly. "Yes," I replied. "Yes, it is."

I had a lot of questions. Many were pretty insensitive, so I held back. But then it clicked. "But Jess doesn't have it."

Darren nodded. "Just about. The psychologists say that she has slightly impaired Conception of... it. They tell us that there's a genetic component: it's caused by a very rare set of dominant genes. Something about small and remote religious pioneer towns, like the one Helen and I grew up in, play some part. By sheer fluke, Jess missed just about all of it, but the rest of us have total Neglect, of... it."

I nodded. "So, Jess was able to see that something was wrong, and told you."

Darren's eyes stated to water. "That's about the size of it." He choked back a sob. "Please excuse me, Luke. This has been a hard time for our family."

I handed Darren a tissue, which he accepted. He wept quietly for a moment.

"Jess fought and shouted at us non-stop to get us to realise that there was a problem. But we got there in the end... and the silver lining is that no-one actually got hurt." He smirked to me, with more than a little bitterness. "Whatever the Pastor was doing, Kelley didn't mind, or even realise it was wrong. But we needed to get away from someone in such a position of authority, who would take advantage of her in... that sort of way."

I nodded to him. "Hence the whiskey at ten thirty on a Sunday."

Darren smiled ruefully. "We've been doing some reevaluating. Our faith kept us on the straight and narrow, but it also blinded us to danger. And, if you'll pardon me for bringing it up, it raises a lot of questions for us about God too, if He would choose to blind us to something that I now understand his Book actually talks a lot about."

Darren watched me carefully for my reaction. I can imagine that some people might have mocked him, but I was just quietly trying to wrap my head around what the Gales must have thought the Bible was talking about when it came to anything to do with sex. I supposed that it must be pretty vague a lot of the time...

Darren continued, his voice catching on occasion. "We can read about the issues involved with... sec-su-al-itty, but almost nothing sticks. And we don't want to rely on someone in authority. We're just lucky that our children are already adults and can't be taken from us! We need someone that we can trust. Someone to help." He looked at me steadily.

"Me?"

Darren nodded. "We can get some help from counselors, but our condition is rare and easy to exploit. You might not have a clinical background, but you have enough of the theory, we can see that you're hard working... and Jess trusts you as a friend. A friend is just what we need right now." He blew his nose.

I was in shock. I took a big slug of my whiskey. "Wow," I said.

I met Darren's eye, and he looked to me with something like approval. "I've come to understand, that that's an appropriate reaction," he said, with heavy irony in his trembling voice.

I shook my head. "Darren, I truly wish you and your family well. But how can I help?"

"I can't even tell you what we're asking from you," Darren replied. "Literally, I can't even conceive of how you can help us, because I can't conceive of the problem. But Jess and the psychologists tell us that it's a big problem... and Jess can tell you, how you can help. If you agree, I'd like to invite you over for lunch. Jess can explain what she's been planning for the past for the past three months. It... would just be easier, coming straight from her."

This was a pretty big thing. And I had no idea how I could actually help. But I couldn't just say no. Besides, maybe this was a way to get to know Jess better: she seemed pretty friendly.

"Okay," I said to him. "I still don't know what I can do, but it's the least I can do, to try."

Darren's mask fell: his face folded into a picture of desperation, but then brightened with hope and gratitude. "I know that it's very early to thank you, Luke. But you have no idea what it's like, to try to protect your family from a problem you can't even concieve, and whose importance you only know from your daughter's angry screaming. Thanks for hearing me out... and thanks for agreeing to come." He raised his glass, and we clinked.

"To new friends," Darren toasted.

"To new friends," I echoed. We both finished our drinks.

"Would you like to come over to our home now?" Darren asked. "I know that I interrupted your Sunday morning, but I know that Hellen's mind would be put at ease if you were to introduce yourself," he added.

"... And you'd like me to start talking with Jess about how I might help," I also inferred.

Darren smiled his rueful smile. "If that's a crime, I plead guilty."

I smiled. "No worries," I told him. "Just let me gather a few things, and we can go."

Darren smiled and nodded. "Thanks, Luke. I'm looking forward to introducing you to the family, and seeing what Jess has in mind for you."

That was the beginning of one of the most exciting times of my life.