Thanks, but no thanks

“I think we can manage on our own, but thank you for the offer of assistance,” he says.

Adella translates. “Your offer of a handjob is appreciated, but my brother will masturbate by himself, and if he is unable to bring himself to climax, I will fellate him or give him a handjob myself.”

Stewart could not hide his look of astonishment if he had to. He knew Adella’s words meant something totally innocent to their guest’s ears, but if he lived to be 150, he knew he would never forget the sound of her voice discussing her willingness to help him bust a nut.

The tiger woman nods in understanding and looks at Adella’s clothing. Adella understands, and says, “I, too, am capable of satisfactory masturbation.” She casts a sideways glance at Stewart as she says, “and I know my brother is very eager to finger me and lick my clitorus if I cannot bring myself to orgasm on my own.”

Stewart turns his back on the two women and pretends to be extremely interested in a tapestry that is hanging on the wall. He hears a few more words between the two women, followed by the sound of the door closing as their visitor leaves. Once they are alone, Adella bursts out in loud laughter.

“Oh, Stewart! That was priceless! I wish an artist had been here to capture the expression on your face!”

Stewart feels his cheeks burning. He also realizes that despite his best efforts, he is mostly erect, and he is grateful he is not yet dressed in such a skimpy thing as the loincloth.

“I’m beginning to have second thoughts about this whole thing,” he grumbles. “It seems increasingly perilous with every passing development.”

“Oh, posh!” says Adella. “It’s all good fun. If you had brought Duncan, instead of me, the two of you would be laughing uproariously at the situation.”

“If I had brought Duncan, he would have taken that woman up on her offer — quite literally, too — at least, in terms of our language’s understanding. Incidentally, since the most innocent of conversations is sexual in nature, how do they actually talk about — you know — sex?”

Adella frowns. “That’s a good question. It hasn’t actually come up in my studies. But they are a very open people, valuing total honesty. My guess is that they just come right out and say it.”

“It sounded to me like that woman was coming right out and saying it,” replies the king. “Such an overt, open solicitation would not be more plainly stated if uttered by a harlot back home!”

“I think you have to take it all in context,” says Adella. “We knew she was talking about clothing and getting dressed, so that’s how we applied the meaning. I imagine if the context of the conversation suggested something more, it would be obvious.”

“If you say so,” he says, dubiously. “but being at a feast with a bunch of topless women, all of whom asking to pleasure me with their hands is less the context of a diplomatic mission, and more the stuff of a teenager’s wet dreams.”

“Speaking of getting wet,” says Adella.

Stewart feels a lump in his throat as she lets her words hang in the air.

When she can no longer keep a straight face, Adella bursts out laughing again, and says, “Speaking of getting wet, I probably should make use of that bathtub before getting dressed. If you can call putting on fewer clothes than this ‘getting dressed.’”

Stewart lets his breath out in relief. “You — and this place — will be the **** of me, sister!” Looking around, and seeing again that their quarters offer no opportunity for privacy, he says, “Of course. Perhaps I shall step out and get some fresh air while you do so.”

Adella pauses a moment before saying, “You know, you’re about to spend the evening seeing me topless. In light of that, it probably isn’t necessary to stand on ceremony or modesty around me. Besides, being in here while I bathe might help you acclimate to the experience.”

There is wisdom in what she suggests, but Stewart has obvious misgivings.