Take Bubblegum to the Piano Lounge

The pink-haired proprietress of Clown Candy took quite a shine to you in no time at all, but then, you seemed to fall well within her preferences: a new clown assistant looking for a more experienced clown girl to latch on to. On the surface, she's sugary sweet, an angelic woman who loves nothing more than helping out rookies and selling candy to park-goers. During your time with her, however, you found out there's a lot more to her than that. Frankly, if you decided to call her number after seeing that, it's proof positive that you are an upper echelon clown-hound, the kind of guy who observes the red flags and is only encouraged by them.

The candy-colored candy saleswoman picks up on the other end of the phone after a few rings, then lets you do most of the talking. You find yourself falling over your words-- you don't have a lot of experience asking out professional clowns. How are these date things supposed to work? Do you take a clown out to a fancy dinner or do they prefer to stay in the park? Do you take them to an aquarium and, if so, are jokes about clown fish expected, or are they grounds for instant disqualification?

After letting you stew for a bit, Bubblegum chuckles and answers the question for you, living up to her name as the Helpful Clown. "Don't worry, I know a few good spots already. Personally, I like the bar for a date spot. There are a few good ones around the park, but I'd recommend the Piano Lounge myself. It's just a bit classier than the saloon, in my opinion," she offers, sounding like she's either done this many times before or at least been thinking about it for a while.

You're in no position to second guess her. With eagerness in your voice, you tell Bubblegum you'll find the piano lounge and meet her over there at...?

You trail off there, waiting for her to give you a time.

"How about right now?" she suggests in an amused tone, allowing your drawn-out pause to stick around for way longer than is comfortable for you. Right now is good for you! You stay on the phone with Bubblegum making small talk all the way down to the Piano Lounge.

The place does look to be a pretty far cry from the candy shop. Whereas that place was rolled out with a goopy-looking, cartoonish blend of chocolate and dripping gum to give it a dash of color and whimsy, this place is all black and white, with fancy chandeliers, white tablecloths, and, of course, piano music. A waiter at the door-- seemingly another clown assistant, albeit in an actual waiter's uniform-- allows you inside, and you find the whole place surprisingly empty. The only attendants here seem to be that first guy, a piano player unseen on the upper floor, and a bartender, who seems to be another clown assistant. It could be that somehow Bubblegum has reserved this place just for you...

Or it could be that the park is trafficked mostly by single men who have no reason to pay for fancy dining-- this is the kind of place you'd typically take your significant other to, not treat yourself to. Not only that, but there aren't even any clowns here to ogle, unless that unseen piano player is one of them.

You find yourself hoping the drinks are good. They look expensive. There's almost no reason you'd pick this place over anywhere else at the park...

... Except that it's your girlfriend for the day's preference, of course. You see the lady herself appear now, fresh from the powder room, where she has perhaps applied more powder than the average girl would, seeing as she's a clown.

Her straight pink hair and face-paint are familiar, including pink lips and a dot at the tip of her nose, but her outfit has changed a bit. Instead of the poofy pink skirt and blouse she wore last time, she's switched over to wear a silver, strapless dress with enticing slits up the side of each leg. It shows off her pale thighs and her generous cleavage magnificently, you think. Upon her feet are silver stilettos. If it wasn't for her head, she might look like a bit out of place walking around Down to Clown-- everything else is just a gorgeous, model-like emblem of class.

Well, her purse stands out a bit. It's pink with white polka-dots, clashing with her dress in a way that only a clown could pull off.

"Hello, Bowie," she greets you, giving a beaming smile that has your heart hammering even harder. You regret now that you didn't change into something nicer-- you're still wearing your uniform vest and bright purple bow-tie. "Are you worried about how you're dressed?" she asks, switching to a sympathetic look, before placing one hand upon your upper arm. With a smooth potion, she manages to loop her arm around your own, allowing you to hold her as though you're an actual item. It's not doing much to calm your nerves! "There's no reason to be nervous about that. Your fellow attendants aren't going to judge you and I won't either. The piano player... she might! If she wasn't busy playing the piano," Bubblegum giggles, squeezing your arm again to let you know that was just a joke.

You feel like you're about to melt into goopy gum yourself just from touching the soft, exposed flesh of her bare arms. You can't make a single decision about what to do next.

"My preference would be the bar," she guides you, already moving in that direction before you even have a chance to nod.

The clown assistant there greets you with a courteous bow. You half expected to see the guy jealous... But you remember that everyone here's just as blessed as you. He's probably got his own after-work plans with a lovely clown of his own.

But could whoever he picks measure up to Bubblegum? As she takes her seat, turning for just a moment as though to intentionally show you how her backless dress is open all the way to the hip-line, you wonder if you can find a sexier clown anywhere in the joint!

Seeing you watching, Bubblegum smiles slyly, then crosses one leg over the other. "What are you thinking about?" she asks in a sultry whisper, already knowing full well what's on your mind.

You lie, telling her you were just wondering what you ought to drink.

"I'll let you order for the two of us," she informs you, smiling pleasantly despite the gargantuan weight she's just placed upon your shoulders. What's the appropriate order here? For that matter, what can your wallet handle?!