Streetwise Solicitation, or Coitus Interruptus

For my next adventure I figured I would return to basics. Demons, elves and magic-enhanced sex are all well and good, but what about the simple things? One human having sex with another human - that's what I wanted. I had heard of a "normal" place like that while eating at the inn so I set off after breakfast to track it down.

I was in a corner of town that I'd never really spent much time in before. It was mostly lined with identical terrace houses: cookie-cutter two-storey homes that connected directly to each other as they repeated down the entire street. They had been built long ago as low-cost housing but were now quite expensive, and some had been refashioned as businesses. What had the guys in the pub said again? "Look for the purple curtains with pink polka dots and knock six times." All of these houses looked the same! It was when I was passing a narrow alley that I heard something.

"Psst! Hey! Over here!"

A young lady was beckoning me into the dark alleyway. I checked the coast was clear and followed her inside. She wasn't that tall but she was wrapped in an enormous robe. She was hiding something but I couldn't tell what.

"Are you looking for the pink polkadot purple curtains?" She asked.

"Yes..."

"Then you're in luck!"

She tore open the front of her robes. For a moment I thought she was going to flash me her tits, but she had more clothes on underneath. She pointed to a strip of material sown into the lining of her robes. Pink circles on purple fabric.

"I'm one of their succugirls. This is our trademark," she said.

"Isn't soliciting on the street illegal?" I asked.

"Legal Schmegal. That's why we have a secret code! You remember the knock, right?"

I tapped on the adjacent brick wall six times.

"That's the one," she said. "Alright. What are you looking for? 50 gold for a handjob. 100 for a blowie. 300 to go all the way. That's 25% off compared to your average licensed premises."

I took out my coinpurse and fished out 300 gold's worth of coins. The moment she saw my money she was wringing her hands in glee. I tossed her 150.

"That's half upfront. Half when we're done," I said. "Now you know I'm good for it." I put the rest of her fee back in my pouch and jingled it at her. She frowned for a moment but then waved me over.

"Alright, smarty pants. Let's get started."

She disrobed. As she went I saw what she'd been hiding under all those layers. Her human face was framed with comely auburn locks. But underneath those, starting from her neck down, were golden feathers.

"You're not human," I said.

"No shit, Sherlock. I'm a harpy."

The front half of her body appeared human at first glance. A human face, human hair, bare breasts, belly and crotch. But her legs were covered in fine white down, and they ended in birds' feet with sharp imposing talons. Her back was covered in golden feathers, and her human hands were connected to great wings that folded neatly by her sides. She twirled round to give me a show and flicked up her little tail.

"What do you think?" She said.

"Ooh, shake your tail feather, baby!" I clapped.

She rolled her eyes and twerked her tuckus back and forth.

"You humans and your obsession with butts," she said. "You really are like monkeys."

"Hey, that's no way to talk to a client," I said as I walked closer. "Can I touch them?" I reached out to the feathers on the nape of her neck.

She smiled and nodded. When I traced my fingers along them she shivered. They were like sensitive little petals adorning her skin.

"You're a beautiful woman," I whispered.

She blushed, which is surprisingly rare for a succugirl. Most of them have heard it all before. I pushed her back against the wall and sucked at her neck. She chirped like a starling.

"I'm going to cover you in hickies," I said. "Something to remember me by."

She wrapped her wings around me and moaned. I kissed further down her shoulders until I reached the point where her feathers started. I tried kissing them the same way but ended up with a face full of fluff.

"Achoo!"

"Haha! Careful! I know some of you guys are allergic."

"I don't need to blow my nose. Though, I do need you to blow me."

She rolled her eyes and sank to her knees. Fond of puns, she was not. I didn't care. The moment her hot mouth touched my dick was more than enough of a distraction. She felt so much warmer than any human girl who'd sucked my schlong before. I mean it - birds blow better. Her throat contracted along the length of my dick. It was so tight it felt like a second pussy. So I started hammering into her. Giving her a real face fuck. I wasn't gonna finish yet but I was definitely going to sample all the holes she had to offer.

It was just then that someone started blowing a whistle at the end of the alleyway.

"Stop right there, criminal scum!"

An orc town guardsman was hulking his way towards me, accompanied by a small band of goblin archers and an alluring human woman in a blue satin dress. If I was going to jail I was going to cum first, so I kept thrusting into the harpy's mouth while watching their approach. The woman with them pointed at the girl gagging on my dick.

"Jezebel! I should have known! You man-stealing hussy!"

The harpy pushed me off her face for a sec to fire back.

"All's fair in love and war, Dorine. And the sex industry is both!"

"Wait, do you two know each other?" I asked.

"That harpy succugirl has been stealing men away from my business for months! And it ends today. Guards, arrest them!"

The towering orc guard galumphed his way towards us.

"Nobody breaks the law on my watch! Soliciting sex on the street is a crime. Now pay your fine or it's off to jail."

"A fine? Sure. Just hold on a sec."

I looked down to where Jezebel the harpy had been sucking my dick only moments before, but she was gone. Then two talons clasped around my shoulders and I was hauled up into the air.

"I'm not going to jail! I'm finishing what I started and getting my money!"

We soared up out of the alleyway and into the sky. The goblins shot arrows at us, but they narrowly missed. Soon the cityscape faded behind us and we were flying above rivers, woods and hills. Eventually we descended towards a ravine; a gap in the earth between two hills. There were small alcoves dug into the hillside, stretching from top to bottom. A harpy nesting ground. Birdgirls both big and small fluttered between their nests in the caves. Jezebel flew me into her own little grotto and set me down on a bed of straw.

"Let's pick up where we left off," she said.

I realised my pants had been around my ankles the entire time. Had I flashed the entire town and countryside my hard dick on the way here? That just turned me on more. Jezebel mounted me and slowly dropped onto my dick.

"Yeah, that's it. Fuck my cloaca."

"What?"

"Hmm? Didn't you know harpies only have one hole down there? We're birds, silly."

Anal and vaginal at the same time? Fuck yeah. I sat up and hauled one of her legs up over my shoulder. I was going to Kama Sutra this slut. With each thrust into her greedy hole she warbled out from the cave. Soon the innocent birdsong of the surrounding hills was filled with her moaning cries.

"God damn it, Jezebel! Stop bringing your work home with you," cried one of the harpies outside.

"Suck my tits, Britney," stammered Jezebel as I pounded her into the ground. This was the full experience I'd been longing for. Almost caught by the town guards. Outdoor sex with an exhibitionist succugirl so horny she didn't care if the neighbours heard. I thrust into her one final time and filled up her sweet ass with my cum.

"Thank you," I sighed. "That was the fucking best."

"There, there, tough guy. Thanks for the load."

Still inside her, I took out my coin purse and handed over the rest of her payment.

"Hey, uh. Could you give me a lift back to town?" I asked.

"Hah! Fat chance. Good luck hitching a ride from someone."

I grumbled but said nothing. We were both wanted criminals in town for the time being. It was best I lay low for a while - maybe visit my cousin a few towns over. So I pulled up my pants, thanked her for her time and disappeared into the woods.

My Score: 9/10

When it comes to getting laid, birdgirls do it best. Just be careful about harpies offering on the street. You never know where you might end up.*

* This review to be posted once I find my way back to civilisation.