She's bitching about you, actually.

"So, you know, Olivia, right? Your ex-girlfriend? Anyway, she told me, that you were dating, John, OUT OF ALL PEOPLE! Can you even BELIEVE that? You HATE Gavin, right!?!??!"

You and Rose both struggle to hold in a laugh. Cerise is such an entitled bitch, you can't help it. "Yeah, totally..." jokes Rose, still suppressing that laugh.

Cerise doesn't reply, but in a second, you hear her nerve-rattling voice again. "So I told Olivia, that she can take her facts and just, UGH. You know, right? Like, where is she getting this from?"

At this point, you sit up in bed, and stand up, stretching your arms. You head over to your dresser, open the underwear drawer, and take out a pair of dark-red-and-black boxers. You decide to be kind and grab out a pair of panties, throwing them on the bed for Rose.

Without an answer, Cerise continues to ramble on. "So anyways, I was thinking. What IS John DOING these days? Like, I mean, WHO? I asked around, and apparently A LOT of girls think he's pretty hot and shit. I mean, like, even some of the lesbians. Even OLIVIA herself. So I was beginning to think, uhh, why did I even dump John in the first place? He's not really that bad of a guy. I mean, I never even got to repay him... For like, all of those times he ate me out. That's what our relationship was built on. He does one thing, I did another. Well, I mean, I did like, ten for every one of his things, right? I mean, SURE, he probably wanted sex. But I guess I DID repay him for every orgasm he made me sit through, by, like, TALKING to him. Sex and talking are the two things that keep a relationship together, right? So the way I see it, we were BOTH keeping the relationship alive."

"Mhm..." Rose answers with, in a bitch-stop-talking tone. She also gets out of bed, and starts to put on her panties. You close the underwear drawer and grab a short-sleeved black shirt. You slip on your boxers, and pick up the shirt, sliding it over your well-toned body.

"So, like, why did he even break up with me? He can't REALLY think I was a bitch. I mean, sure, I did use a lot of his money to buy things, and also ate a lot of his food, and didn't pay him back, but like? Aren't relationships based on UNDERSTANDING? So he should UNDERSTAND that I don't have to pay him, because, we were like practically married. Besides, we were in love! People in love don't make each other pay. Unless it's like hate-love, but that's an entirely different story.... And, like, buying all that shit made me happy! And shouldn't he be happy just because I'm happy? I mean, sure, every married sitcom in existence is all like, couples fighting, but couples almost, NEVER FIGHT, I-R-L, right? Haha."

You head over to the closet, opening the door and taking a matching bra off the hanger for Rose. "Nah, I'm staying inside today, probably going braless," calls out Rose to you, a bit too loudly.

"What? Is someone else in the room with you? Oh my god, is it Gavin? Was Olivia wrong? Oh my god! You whore!"

"No, no, no...." your girlfriend fibs. "I was just talking out loud."

"To yourself?"

"Yup," she hurriedly answers, throwing a white tank-top over herself. "Anyway, gotta go, talk to you later, b-bye." Rose turns the phone off, sitting at the edge of the bed. You take a seat next to her.

"Are you ever going to tell her that we're dating?" you ask, rhetorically. You know that Rose's hate for Cerise is even larger than yours.

"Ha, no. I wish you would've gotten her pregnant so she'd have to deal with a kid on top of all her stupid "knight in shining armor" and "Disney princess" fantasies of her's. Ugh."

"Okay, I know you're a cold bitch, but I didn't think you could reach temperatures that low when we're so close to the sun," you kid, and you both smile.

"Well, I mean...."

"No, no. I get what you mean."

"Yeah... Haha..."

"What?"

"I wasn't joking, I was serious... I uh..."

"What? Not to be rude, but, could you just like, spit it out already?"

"I have a fetish for other chicks getting pregnant." With that, Rose hides her face in her hands, and turns away from you.

"Oh..."

"Y-yeah..."

"That's not weird at all.... In fact...." You place a hand on her shoulder. "I have a fetish for getting women pregnant..."

Rose takes her face out of her hands and turns to you. "Really?"

"Yeah."

"No, you're just making it up so I feel better."

"If I was making it up, would I have a boner right now?" You gesture with your other hand towards your erection.

"True..." your girlfriend states, before placing a hand on your erection. She slides it out of the "pocket", or whatever it's called, and lets your schlong stand free. She wraps her left hand around it, and slowly begins to jack it.

"Fuck..." you moan.

"Well, if you like impregnating women so much..." she asks sexily, continuing to rub your cock.

"Yeeeees?" you ask, hoping she's proposing what you want to hear.

"Why don't..." She begins to rub your dick a bit faster....

"You..."

"Just..."

You're on the edge of your seat, and in this case, it's the bed.

"Go out and get Cerise pregnant?" she asks, smiling, not realizing that you were hoping it would be "get me pregnant".

You place a hand on her hand to stop the jacking. "Actually... I was thinking I could knock you up."

Rose lets out a small laugh. You laugh awkwardly, too. She soon realizes you were serious. "Oh, John, babe, we just started dating..."

"We've been best friends for years. We're not strangers."

"We're not in a financially secure position!"

"We're not? Last time I checked, we both had stable jobs and you were getting money from your family, even if they still hate you..." You got her there.

"Well, uh, this place isn't that big..." She withdraws her hand, and so do you. You put your now-limp penis back into your boxer.

"There's an guest room in this place, that could be easily converted into a kid's room."

"I don't want to put my body through a baby..."

"You would look extremely sexy with a baby bump, and you just said you wanted to get knocked up."

She pauses, probably to think up a better answer. "Fine. How about this. You can... get me pregnant."

Your dick springs back up. "If?"

"If, you manage to impregnate BOTH Olivia and Cerise, and they need to miss their periods FOR SURE. No 'I fucked them without a condom, that counts'. They need to have actual babies growing inside of them. Then... I'll consider it."

"Wait, you're literally telling me I can go out and fuck other women?" Your mind races. You know this is a trap.

"It's no joke, it's all serious. If you run into any other woman you want to bang, as long as you can knock her up, you can go get her pregnant. I'm not kidding. Or pulling your leg." She extends her hand.

"Well then.... You have a deal." You grab her hand, and shake on it.