Chapter 29
by HighGrove
The Maids are Probably Used to Cleaning Cum Off of Floors and Beds and Bags and People and Ceilings Here, Right?
Sexy, Sexy Emotions
The next day is a torrent of goodbyes, well-wishes and a frankly indulgent amount of rubbed bellies as your family, household staff and apparently the entire village see you and Matilda off on the next part of your mission. The sight of so many bright eyed and bushy tailed young woman, waving cheerfully with one hand while the other rests atop a swollen tummy...man. In, like, two months there are going to be an insane amount of babies here. Any enterprising businessperson who wanted to put up a diaper factory in the area would instantly become disgustingly wealthy.
Actually, maybe you should hang onto that idea for yourself. You still don't quite "get" how being a prince works, and while you haven't been punching in and no one's mentioned anything about a salary, the general vibe you've been getting is that you don't really have to give two shits about money. Meaning, you've more than got the means to build up the services and products your lovers and their growing broods are going to need, and then make them available free of charge.
Were you such a stand up dude before? It's hard to remember at this point, and you actually don't care that much. And it's not all strictly charitable thinking; one thing you know for sure is that you're going to need to attract settlers to the village who want to start families without your personal dick being involved. You haven't forgotten that many of your children will be fostered in other castles, but the ones who stay should probably be given a chance to grow up with a least some kids who aren't their blood relatives.
You can bring it up with Roan when you meet up again. For now, you're off to Brightly. So....where is Brightly?
You may be a prince, but in the end you aren't too proud to just ask for directions. The merchant with her daughter you passed on the road just outside of town were more than happy to point you the right way, though Princess Matilda has been giving you the strangest look from her perch atop the ridiculously huge, wooly-furred horse she selected from your stables. You didn't think much of it at first, but she gives you the same look of mildly confused anticipation when you pause to help a young woman right her over turned cart, and after you leave the small farm where a cheery older woman gladly let you water the horses.
"Something wrong, Matilda?"
The princess gives a start that almost sends her tumbling off her mount at your sudden breaking of the somewhat uneasy silence. "Oh! Oh, um, no! No, I was just..." Is she turning red? "I was just sort of surprised you hadn't...that, um, you haven't..."
Oh. Right, this makes sense. "You're surprised that I haven't seduced anyone yet."
"Ummm..........yes."
This is your life now, apparently, where it's odd when you don't knock up every passerby. It's a reputation you've probably earned, to be honest. "I don't have to have sex with everyone, Matilda."
The girl purses her lips, looking a bit defensive. "I know that! I mean, I guess I knew that, it's just...well you do have sex with a large percentage of people.
"Fair enough."
You continue on in silence for a moment, until the girl decides she's got more to say on the matter. "It's just, it does seem sometime that you and Roan...well, maybe mostly Roan but it seems that everything is just about...well, that it's all just leading to..."
She trails off as you pat a hand onto her horse's flank, the giant beast slowing to a halt so you can square off to face Matilda. The princess is still beet red as she fusses with her horse's thick mane, her expression a mix of embarrassment and more than a splash of anger. "Matilda, do you think that Roan and I are only helping you so we can have sex with you?"
She gives a somewhat sullen little shrug as she picks out a nonexistent knot of horse hair. "I don't know. Maybe. Maybe you just want to me to marry you like all the other suitors. Maybe it's just some game you two play with awkward princesses."
"Matilda, we're your friends."
She finally lifts her head, leveling you a flat look. "You fucked six women in a dress shop while I was in the fitting room."
You have to grin despite yourself. "That's the first time I've hear you cuss. Is that the first time you've ever cussed?"
Matilda sputters indignantly. "Yes, yes it is! And it was the first time I'd been in a dress shop with eight people who were fucking, too! This is the first time I've done...this is the first time I've done any of this! It's crazy! You're both crazy!"
She's got a point. You've been having such a good time that...well, you definitely ignored the fact that you were putting the intensely sheltered Matilda through the wringer. The poorly-considered grin fades from your face. "Matilda, I'm sorry. We've been...we have been sort of terrible, haven't we?"
The princess slumps a little, the anger draining from her face. "No, I...no, I'm sorry, I didn't mean..."
"Matilda, I think you did, and we both know you were right. You aren't just a crown to me, and you aren't just a game to me or Roan. But you're out of your element here, and the only two people you know haven't been treating you right. Can you forgive us?" The princess quietly nods, prompting you to offer her your hand. "Still friends?"
She glances over at you, then back down again with a small smile. "Oh come on, don't be like that. You know we're more than just friends."
You return the smile as you give her horse a pat, starting both of you back down the road. She's mostly composed herself, but is still a little red when she speaks up again. "Please don't think that I haven't enjoyed this. Because I have, I really have. Even all of the...um, crazy things. Maybe even especially those. My life was so boring before."
"We're a lot of things, but 'boring' isn't one."
"Right? Maybe it wasn't...exactly the escape I had envisioned, but it certainly has been one. It's just..." She sighs. "I've had to consider a lot of things the last few weeks, things I hadn't even conceived of. Not even just about you two; it's been everything, my title, my future, what's expected of me...everything. I didn't want to bring any of this up around Roan, but maybe I could tell you more about it later?"
"Absolutely."
Matilda nods, looking as if her moment of doubt has passed. You should probably just let the relaxed silence that has settled over you stay, but..."You didn't want to bring this up around Roan?"
Instantly, the princess turns bright red again. "....She would think I was being a baby."
You let out a laugh. "Matilda, Roan might actually like you more than she likes me."
"That's not true."
"Well it's pretty damn close."
You both let it lie at that, Matilda looking embarrassedly pleased while you prudently hold back a chuckle. Tonight is going to be an interesting night.
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A One-Way Ticket to the Medieval Bone Zone
Through the (obscenely thinly-sketched) machinations of what can only be called a magical job application, you find yourself transported through space and time to an egregiously sexual fantasy realm. into the role and form of one of several noble suitors, you find yourself literally (figuratively) balls-deep in the struggle for the hand of the kingdom's fair princess. Will you find the will to overcome the absurdly high-concept insanity of it all to win the princess's...heart? Let's say heart. It's like A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court, but poorly written and with substantially more fucking.
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Updated on Jul 17, 2022
by menoetes
Created on Mar 13, 2017
by HighGrove
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