Send for Duncan

“Yes, send for my brother and have him come to me at once,” says Stewart.

As Norbier departs, Stewart picks up a document to study but casts it aside after a few moments. After an interminable time at this task, all of the official documents began to look alike. He pushes himself back from his desk and stands wearily. He stretches and feels his back protest.

“No wonder my father died so young,” he thinks, ruefully. “This job would kill anyone who is at it for very long!”

The door to the study opens, and Stewart turns to see Duncan bounding into the room. The spring in his step and the gleeful look on his face only serves to remind him of how weary and morose he is.

Norbier looks in through the doorway, inquiringly. Stewart dismisses his minister with a wave of the hand and says, “That’s all for now, Lord Norbier. I won’t be needing you for this.”

Norbier bows in acquiescence and closes the door, leaving the two brothers alone in the room.

“Good to see you, Brother,” says Duncan. “I was just about to come see you, so Norbier’s timing was excellent.”

A look of concern comes over his face. “Are you quite well, Stewart? You look as if you have aged years since I last saw you.”

Stewart scowls. “As would you if you spent your entire day, sunrise to sunset, sitting through official documents and deciding who is going to be the official De-wormer of the Cayden County Equestrian Exposition.”

Duncan glances at the papers on the desk. “Seriously? Brother, you need someone to help you with such things. And I believe I have just the person for it!”

He pulls out a folded piece of paper from his pocket. “You asked me to find a place for Father’s ‘ladies of the boudoir,’ and I’ve been hard at work doing just that.”

Stewart waited for the inevitable follow-up from his incorrigible brother. He was not disappointed. “And trust me... With the type of work you have assigned to me, I’ve been quite hard for a significant period of time!” He grabs his crotch for emphasis.

Stewart takes the paper from his brother. “What is this?”

“Well, at first I had the intention of moving all the concubines to some remote settlement, just as Father did with Grandfather’s harem when he became king. But, as I got to know them....” The corner of his mouth rises in a smirk. “I realized that it would be unchivalrous to just treat them as possessions that can be moved here and there.”

Stewart rolls his eyes. “Yes, I am sure you were very concerned about each one of them as a person.”

If Duncan heard the sarcasm in his brother’s voice, he says nothing about it. “Exactly. They’re not just cattle to be bought and sold — they are human beings, with ideas, and personality, and feelings....”

“I’m just ill with emotion over how much you care for these women, Duncan, but I do have a lot to do, so....”

“That’s my point, Stewart. You need a good administrative assistant who can help you with all these stuff, and I think one of these ladies would be perfect. Instead of shipping her off somewhere, we should honor her service to the Crown and find a way to use her talents right here in the palace.”

Stewart is skeptical. “I think all of them were using their ‘talents’ by serving the Crown in the bedchamber. That’s why Father chose each of them in the first place. Why is it that is suspect you are trying to keep one of them here so her talents can be used by you?”

Duncan’s face is one of mock innocence. “Shocked. Yes, shocked I am that you would think that of me! Although, now that you mention it, now that I’m Crown Prince, I really should have an assistant or two to help me with the heavy burdens of my office.”

Stewart rolls his eyes again and takes a look at the paper. “And who, exactly, do you think has the necessary skills to be my administrative assistant?” He squints as he looks at the list. “Your handwriting is awful, Duncan! What does this say? ‘Debra Niplus’?”

Stewart looks at the paper and says, “No.... that’s not her name. Truthfully, I never got around to finding out any of their names, now that you mention it, but that’s only because I was so intent on finding out their talents so I could help them re-enter society as productive citizens.”

“I’m sure of that,” says Stewart. “So what does this say?”

“Double Nipples,” answers Duncan. “Well, technically it should be Triple Nipples.... Her right breast has two nipples, instead of one, but the other breast is perfect. You might think of it as a deformity, but I have to tell you, she pulls it off exceptionally well.”

“I see.... And this qualifies her to be my assistant in what way? I assume she takes shorthand?”

“I don’t know,” admits Duncan. “I could ask her. I do know she has fantastic hands, though.... Soft, yet amazingly nimble.”

“Uh huh.... And I suppose it’s to much to hope for that perhaps she has some experience in writing speeches?”

“Hmmmm..... Not sure of that, either....” says Duncan, thoughtfully. “Come to think of it, I’m not even entirely certain that she even speaks our language.... Oh, wait.... I do know she likes to ask ‘again?’ at the most opportune times.”

Stewart bites back his retort and looks again at the paper. “Look at all these names! Are you trying to find positions for all of these women?” His eyes scroll through the ‘names’, which include such gems as “Loves Anal”, “Blonde on Top/Red Between Legs”, and “Won’t Swallow, But Worth the Mess”.

“There must be twenty women on this list! Are you trying to keep all of them here in the palace?”

“Not all of them,” says Duncan. “There’s a really scary woman with tattoos and enough hair between her legs to qualify as old-growth forest. I don’t know what kind of kinks Father was into with her, but we can safely send her far, far away. I’m just not comfortable with any woman who can bench press me.”

“What happened to your assurances that you didn’t want to have anything to do with a bunch of old women?”

“That’s the interesting thing, Stewart. Father apparently had a thing for younger women. I bet there is only one there who is over 40, and she has this MILF thing going on that would just blow your mind! The rest are much closer to our age. I guess when they got too old to be interesting — or if they turned up preggo — they got shipped off to the outer provinces and replaced with fresh stock.”

His last comment sparked Stewart’s attention. “Pregnant? You mean we have siblings scattered about that we know nothing about?”

“Half-siblings,” Duncan clarifies. “And illegitimate, at that. No claim to the throne, so you don’t have to worry.”

“I know, but still.... I wonder how much Mother knows about this.”

“I don’t know, but frankly, my admiration of Father has much increased. If he had a hoard of horny vixens available at his beck and call and still had the stamina to keep Mother happy in the bedroom, then he was a total stud!”

Stewart shook his head, trying to take it all in.

“So, Brother,” continues Duncan. “What do you think of my suggestions?”