Say, "Actually, it's a little uncomfortable cause I'm still hard. Maybe you should help get it soft"

You whine some pathetic thing about being hard, probably hoping I'll take pity on you and give you a handjob or something stupid like that.

Instead, I roll my eyes and say, "Well I guess you better get it UNhard for yourself. Cause you don't want to find out how I'LL make it shrivel up."