Saturday night fervour.

Yes, we're on our way to Saturday; we shall not be moved. Sonia's last week on earth is, on the whole, turning out to be a pretty good one for her. Knowing that all the negatives in her life are finally coming to an end has allowed her to concentrate on previously unconsidered positives. For a start, there's her crummy job. With the pressure of seemingly endless earthly torment finally lifted, it turns out it's her attitude that's been crummy, not the job after all. True, she's not been great at it so far but then she's never tried to be. So this week, she has tried and found the experience of job satisfaction surprisingly enjoyable. Her mopping up of spillages has been so exemplary that it's earned her compliments from the management. She no longer sweeps the debris from breakages under the shelving units and she's even tried stacking items on the shelves the right way up for a change. Her Supervisor has ceased hounding her because it's simply not been necessary. Her hard face has softened, she hasn't snapped at or bitten the customers once and she's actually caught her self smiling on a couple of occasions. As for her nightmare of a daughter, well, it's hard to stay mad at someone you know you're going to be drowning at the end of the week, isn't it.

Norris phoned her on Tuesday evening.

"Hey Sonia, are you feeling pregnant yet?"

"I don't think so. I stood on my head when I got home the other night to give your sperms a fighting chance of swimming down hill to the egg department, but all I felt when I stood up again was giddy. I certainly didn't feel that way when I was carrying Cloé; all I felt then was nausea which, considering how she turned out, was totally justified."

"So, are we still go for Saturday night?"

"You bet. This week's being a good one but I still need to quit life. It’s totally drained me. I think complete eternal oblivion will suit me very well. I'm really looking forward to it.

"Good for you, girl. Look, I'm emailing you details of the rope you need to buy. I can't buy it as it would link me to your ****. Also, you need to delete all our texts and emails. I'm sure you understand why."

"Relax! Just remember to wear gloves on Saturday and it'll be as if you were never here, especially if you remember to wear a condom when you shag me. Otherwise . . . "

"Quite. It's never too late to practice safe sex."

"Yes and come Saturday night, I'll quite literally be dying to try it. Will you enjoy watching me die, Norris"

"It'll be the biggest single most ecstatic thrill of a lifetime for me Sonia. I assure you I'll be holding safe and secure in my arms as you die, my love. I won't let anything bad happen to you, believe me."

"Oh thank you, Norris. You really are such a comfort!"

They set out the order and timing of events on Saturday night and agree not to contact each other again until then. So as it turns out, it hasn't all turned quite yet. But it's going to; very soon.